Want to read more? Join my Patreon community

March Roundup

Posted at 15:00 on 1 Apr 2021 by Pandora / Blake

To say March has been madness would be putting it lightly. Between arranging film shoots and night weaning, I’m in a state of chronic sleep deprivation. Editing footage and writing have been squeezed in around parenting, and I still managed to do all this!

Patreon Posts

Pandora practising Tai Chi in the grass

Dreams of Spanking Scenes

Keep reading »

Tags: Dreams of Spanking, kink education, march, Patreon, roundup, Youtube

65 comments

This One Weird Trick

Posted at 12:00 on 22 Mar 2021 by Pandora / Blake



It’s been a long, locked-down winter, and a month ago I was feeling crappy: slow, sluggish and permanently overtired. I’m doing a hell of a lot better now than I was, and I wanted to talk a bit about why.

There’s been a lot of buzz in recent years about ‘self-care’. As a concept it’s not without its problems: not everyone has the time, energy, headspace or resources to devote to the various things it’s now recommended we all do to look after ourselves. As the idea takes firmer root people end up feeling as though they’re being blamed for their own difficulties because they’re not taking enough baths or buying the right sort of scented candle. In the USA there are health insurance companies who actually offer money off some policies if you can demonstrate your participation in certain ‘self-care practices’ -  which of course aren’t accessible to disabled people, overworked people, people living in poverty, people with inadequate childcare, or people with any number of other physical and environmental limitations. Holy ableism, Batman.

There’s something horribly dishonest about the idea that one must “feel good” all the time - and that those good feelings are entirely within our own personal control. Sometimes things are just shitty, and the best thing we can do is accept that we're gonna feel shitty about them. Sometimes it’s not even close to being your fault, and shit is being dropped on you from a great height.

But... sometimes there are things we can do. You might, like me, be a relatively privileged, relatively able-bodied person with an adequate support system. Perhaps you feel crappy because you have needs that aren’t being met, and perhaps you can do something to meet some of those needs. Yes, even in the midst of pandemic chaos.

I hate feeling bad. I much prefer to feel good, if at all possible. So I launched myself on a quest to figure out what that ‘something’ might be. Did I need to work less? We arranged some COVID-secure childcare so my partner and I could spend a whole day together. No work, no toddler - just us. Was that what I was missing? It was lovely - but it brought home to me how depleted I’d become. It took six hours of cuddling, talking, massage and snacks before I felt like I wanted a spanking.

Amidst numerous complaints about how crappy I felt, I shared that I'd heard a podcast the other day where both guests agreed that if they could only do one thing every day for their wellbeing, it would be exercise. I couldn't remember when I'd last done any. "I think that half an hour of Tai Chi a day would do you a lot of good," Felix agreed.

I’ve been doing Tai Chi for three and a half years, more off than on since we all got stuck at home. I was taking classes on Zoom for a while, but not since we moved house. 

So Felix offered to take the munchkin first thing before breakfast, to give me a bit of time when I got up in the morning. Why not try it for a week and see?

And what do you know? After a week, the difference was remarkable. After a month, I never want to stop.

I wake up, get dressed in joggers and a hoodie, drink a glass of water, and go out to our chilly conservatory where there's a bit of space. I do ten minutes of qi gong, then the 18-step Chen bare hand form three times, and ten minutes of weapons practice. I've been relearning Cheng Man-Ch'ing narrow sword from my notes, and have just started brushing up my fan form.

Doing the same thing every morning makes it easy to start. I don't have to feel energetic or make decisions - I can go through the motions at first. My mind is usually busy when I start, but by the time I'm doing the form I'm able to focus internally. That's when I really notice the benefits: when I bring my attention to my breath, and to my centre. I focus on making my movements smooth and flowing, strong and explosive, or soft and subtle. When my attention is focused on my internal experience rather than on racing thoughts, the practice is emotionally calming and mentally enlivening.

I knew Tai Chi was awesome, but I was literally stunned by how quickly I noticed the benefits from doing it every morning. I'm stronger and more flexible; my body simply works better. I have more energy and I feel more alert. I’ve become calmer and less reactive, even after a broken night, and I’m finding it easier to self-regulate strong emotions. My concentration and mental clarity have improved, I’m more cheerful and contented than I was, and my stress levels have fallen dramatically. I’m even sleeping better - in-between interruptions from the toddler, of course.

This is all amazing, of course, but the most startling benefit has been one I have no idea to expect: it’s totally transformed my relationship with my body.

I wrote recently about my thoughts after listening to Sonya Renee Taylor, author of Your Body Is Not An Apology. Since then I've been regularly reminding myself that “comparison is the ladder”. It’s proved a tough nut to crack - I still caught myself making judgements and comparisons about my body. But after a couple of weeks of doing Tai Chi once a day, I suddenly noticed I hadn't thought those things at all. I caught sight of myself in the mirror one day and realised I couldn't remember the last time I'd cast an assessing or evaluating gaze on my own figure. Maybe I look different and maybe I don’t - I actually haven't noticed. For the first time in my life, the only thing I notice about my body is what it feels like, and what it's capable of.

This is... revelatory. I’m blown away. It might sound like a small thing, but for someone who has struggled with body image over the years - it’s a huge shift, all the more delightful for being unexpected.

I’m not really trying to say that you should all rush out and start learning Tai Chi, not least because it might be tricky while there's a pandemic on. But if you're feeling crappy and there is some kind of exercise and movement you enjoy doing, and you’re not currently doing it, might that be a sort of low-hanging fruit? 

There are three main factors, I think, that make this work for me:

  1. My routine starts gently, so I can begin no matter how tired I’m feeling. 
  2. It’s mentally engaging enough to hold my attention. I get bored easily, so I benefit from something that uses my brain as much as my body. Studying the forms, paying attention to my breath, where my weight is, the quality of my movement - it's interesting. And far more beneficial than just waving my arms around while thinking about work.
  3. By the end the physical intensity has ramped up enough that my heart is beating faster - which is energising and enlivening.


This won’t work for everyone, of course. Maybe you need something more or less physically demanding to feel good afterwards. But that’s what works for me.

So rather than dispensing advice, I'm curious: What have you found that helps you stay sane in the midst of this pandemic? Does regular movement like this keep you steady, or do you need something different? Please share your thoughts and experiences below - you never know, your One Weird Trick might help someone else as much as this helped me.

This post was funded by my 113 Patrons. To power my activism and my writing on sexual freedom and social justice, join my Patreon community here

Keep reading »

Tags: accessibility, body image, body positivity, health, mental health, movement, Patreon, self-care

47 comments

Why we shouldn't criminalise sex workers' clients

Posted at 15:00 on 8 Mar 2021 by Pandora / Blake

Oh look, the Nordic Model is back.

Well, alright - it never really went away. It has recently been discussed in Parliament, though, in the form of Dame Diana Johnson’s ‘Sexual Exploitation’ bill. The second reading of this bill has been delayed, and (fingers crossed) won't ever happen. Criminalising sex worker's clients wasn't in the Conservative manifesto, and this was a Private Member's Bill, which often get dropped unless they're picked up by Government.

It's always alarming to hear criminalising clients being debated by politicians. Even if this particular Bill seems unlikely to get anywhere, it's unlikely this will be the last we hear of the idea. It's recently been legislated in both France and Irelant, and it gets mooted with alarming regularity by those claiming to want to help sex workers, despite the fact it will do nothing good for anyone working in the sex industry.

Let’s take a closer look at that, shall we?

What is the Nordic Model?

So named because laws like this were first introduced in Sweden and Norway, the Nordic Model is the idea that we should make it legal to sell sex, but illegal to buy it. This way, sex workers aren’t breaking the law - in theory, solicitation is no longer punishable - but their clients very much are. It can be described as a ‘carceral model’ because it relies on punitive measures such as incarceration being brought against clients and other third parties.

It’s said that this model "reduces demand". The idea is that if fewer people will be willing to seek out the services of sex workers, there will be less sex work going on overall - and this is seen as a good thing.

Why is the Nordic Model bad for sex workers?

Let’s imagine, for a moment, a woman. She’s a working-class single mother, with limited childcare options and little support available from friends and family. She needs to find a job that is flexible and pays enough to provide for her family. She doesn’t enjoy sex work, but she doesn’t hate it any more than she would hate working on a supermarket checkout. It seems to her that it’s her best option, because it’s more flexible and has shorter working hours than the other jobs she could get.

She solicits on the street and gets into her clients’ cars. Under the Nordic Model, she's not breaking the law by doing so. She knows however that her clients are breaking the law at great personal risk, so they won’t want to approach her in well-lit public areas. She has to go out of town, to work on poorly lit streets with little chance of being overlooked. She knows she needs to avoid standing with or near other sex workers, because most potential clients will be too nervous to approach what is clearly a group of women soliciting, in case anyone sees - so she’s on her own.

There’s probably a police presence of some sort regardless, as they’re on the lookout for clients to arrest. So her friends - including women whose immigration status relies on their having “legitimate employment” (sex work doesn't count under this model), women who have a substance dependency, women who are on parole, and women in any number of other vulnerable situations - are in far greater contact with police than they might otherwise be. This puts them at even greater risk.

When someone pulls up to the kerb to speak with her, he’s nervous and agitated - so she has to get into his car almost immediately, or else he’ll drive away. She doesn’t get a chance to negotiate her fees, her boundaries or her safer sex practices until she’s already in a vulnerable position with a strange man.

This strange man, of course, is someone who is comfortable with the idea of breaking the law in order to buy sex. Should this man steal from, assault, rape or otherwise abuse her, he will face consequences scarcely worse than the ones he has already shown himself willing to risk. Many of the more polite, respectful and law-abiding clients have already been scared off when buying sex was criminalised. And when she gets into his car on a dark road outside town, she's far more vulnerable to abuse than she would be without the Nordic Model.

A single client isn’t going to earn her enough money to cover everything she needs to pay for - so she has to keep doing this, over and over again. There are fewer clients around, and every other sex worker is in the same boat. Fewer clients, but just as many mouths to feed. So what happens then?

Well, like any business she has two main options when competition ramps up - she can diversify her services (perhaps by offering bareback, anal, oral without a condom), or she can lower her prices (thus fuelling a race to the bottom as everyone tries to remain competitive). Ultimately she’s probably going to need to do both of those things, regardless of the increased risk of STIs, the degradation of her personal boundaries, and the fact that lower rates mean she needs to find more of these clients to pay the bills.

So now she’s doing a larger quantity of less consensual and more dangerous work, and being paid less money for it to boot. Congratulations, Nordic Model; great way of protecting vulnerable women you've got there.

This woman is fictional in that I wasn’t thinking of anyone in particular as I told her story, but she’s also not fictional at all. According to the ECP, most sex workers are adults and mothers, living in poverty but working of their own volition rather than being trafficked or pimped. This is a daily reality for thousands of vulnerable women in Sweden, Norway, France, Ireland, and other countries where this model has been adopted. It’s also very close to the lived experience of many women working under the so-called ‘Managed Approach’ taken in the Holbeck Zone in Leeds here in the UK.

Are street workers the only sex workers harmed by this model?

Not at all. In fact, not everyone who is harmed by this model is either a sex worker or a sex worker’s client.

Most iterations of the Nordic Model criminalise ‘third parties’ in addition to clients. This is usually intended to mean managers ('pimps') and people smugglers, but to cover all bases it ends up including everyone who has things paid for by money from sex work. People who can be tarred with this brush include: 

  • Any other sex workers with whom you share an indoor working space for safety reasons (either or both of you can easily be recast as brothel-keepers or pimps in the eyes of the law, and charged accordingly)
  •  The landlords of sex workers (this also makes it harder for sex workers to secure accommodation, and therefore puts them at greater risk from landlords who are financially, emotionally or sexually abusive)
  • The partners and adult children of sex workers (who may or may not be aware that their rent etc is paid for by money from sex work)
  • Anyone hired by a sex worker to help them out - such as an admin assistant, a driver, a bodyguard, a receptionist or a social media manager (note that these helpers are more important than ever in the increasingly dangerous working environment that the Nordic Model promotes. Note also that this group would theoretically include my own freelance team members)

The Nordic Model is extremely isolating for sex workers of all kinds. It forces us to operate alone, without the support of trusted third parties, and without any of the checks and balances that could keep us safe. It opens us up to additional avenues of abuse, on top of the abuses we're already at an increased risk of experiencing.

One response you might hear to this is that the Nordic Model should also provide easier access to ‘exit services’: organisations designed to help people leave sex work and find other jobs. They’re a good idea in theory, but in practice they don’t meet the needs of sex workers - instead they're far more likely to stigmatise and infantilise us.

Sex workers who access these services are usually treated as helpless victims in need of rescue. They’re found and offered jobs they probably already had access to - jobs that pay less than sex work does, that have inflexible hours or no support for disabilities and an individual's unique needs. They’re offered in-house counselling predicated on the idea that sex work is bad, mmkay. They’re frowned upon for turning down these offers, and generally treated as if they weren't rational adults making hard choices in an unforgiving world. Exit services of this sort do nothing but reduce the agency afforded to sex workers.

What can we do about it, then?

While it’s always on the horizon, the Nordic Model is not law here in the UK just yet. If you’d like to ensure that remains the case, please support the kinds of decriminalisation sex workers do want for our industry, and assist the organisations helping us in ways that are actually valuable to us. There are plenty of ways to do that.

Further Reading

Keep reading »

Tags: law, Nordic Model, sex worker, sex worker's rights

56 comments

February Roundup

Posted at 15:00 on 1 Mar 2021 by Pandora / Blake

For such a short month, I sure have been busy in February! I got high-quality speakers for Christmas and have been spending a lot of my time perfecting the sound on every film and audio story. I’m self-taught in almost everything I do, and I get a lot of satisfaction from adding another skill to my arsenal. 

Patreon Posts

I ran a promotion to mark 2021 and a renewed commitment to the slogan Shame Less - kick sexual stigma and fight for social justice. All patrons who signed up by Valentine’s Day would receive an exclusive Shame Less pin. The beautiful enamel pins are in the post to their new owners as I type, and I can’t wait to see people condemning kink shaming all over the world.

A pile of Shame Less enamel pins in the colours of bi pride

Dreams of Spanking Scenes

As we fall into the rhythm of a weekly schedule, I continue to be amazed by the benefits involved in working with a team. I can delegate, I can communicate my limitations - essentially, I can take a day off and know that the ship will keep sailing! Here are the updates we released to you lovely people this month:

Keep reading »

Tags: Dreams of Spanking, February, Kink Education, Patreon, roundup, Shame Less, stigma, summary, Youtube

3 comments

DIY Porn - how to make it and feel good doing it

Posted at 15:00 on 3 Feb 2021 by Pandora / Blake



I've been working in porn for 15 years now, and in that time the industry has evolved massively. All of my first shoots were with established sites who hired performers for their films. This was the norm, with independent performer-producers in the minority. I really enjoyed filming with other companies and still do, but it occurred to me a while ago that more DIY porn would be good in so many ways - to improve industry working conditions, increase diversity of representation, and empower more people to see and express themselves as the sexy creatures they are.

I first wrote about this back in 2014 to encourage more people to make their own DIY porn. I followed this post up with a workshop in London in 2016 with The School of Erotic Mysteries, hoping to help build the confidence and knowledge of attendees so they would be inspired to go home and start shooting. I ran related workshops two more times over the next couple of years.

Four years on, the industry has been turned on its head. The rise of platforms offering subscription-based services such as OnlyFans and AVN Stars have made it more accessible than ever to start a porn business, and since the COVID-19 pandemic broke out we have seen the DIY porn market explode.

Keep reading »

Tags: DIY Porn, ethical porn, kink education, pdf resource, porn education, reward, sex education, workshop

111 comments

January Roundup

Posted at 15:00 on 1 Feb 2021 by Pandora / Blake

I’m taking a break from a whirlwind of custom film editing to look back on January. Coming into 2021, I set the intention to put my values front and center in my decision-making, and to lead from the heart. One month in I feel that I’ve stuck to my convictions and that I’m all the better for it. Here’s what I’ve been up to for the first part of this year.

Patreon Posts

I ran a New Year special offer over on my Patreon where I launched my exclusive Shame Less pins. I’m very happy with how they turned out, and I’ll be spending the next week wrapping those up to post to my lovely patrons! Here are the blogs I’ve put out on Patreon this month.

  • 2021: leading from the heart - 2020 is finally over, and a lot of people are talking about putting it behind us and moving on to something new - as much as is possible with the pandemic dragging on in countries where it has been badly managed. I’ve been reflecting on the year we’ve had and thinking about what I’d like to do with the one ahead
     
  • Special Offer: Ends 23 January - I'm super stoked to have some new merch to give away - the SHAME LESS enamel pin
     
  • Watch Me Write - weekly live writing and revision sessions every Saturday at 3pm GMT - Hello co-authors! Going into 2021, I'm more motivated than ever to finish my book. I've scheduled myself weekly writing sessions on Saturday afternoons to help me stay on track, and I'd like to invite you to be part of them
     
  • On hiring marginalised folk - I’m not an employer, exactly; everyone who works “for” me is actually freelance, and I’m their client as much as their boss. But the point stands: all the contractors I regularly collaborate with belong to groups which are often discriminated again
     
  • Book Introduction - Hello gorgeous patrons, and thank you so much for your support! I've decided to take the plunge. As I revise my book into a polished draft, I'll be sharing each chapter as I finish it with all patrons at Co-Author tier and above
     
  • DIY Porn: How to Make It and Feel Good Doing It - I'm keen to share knowledge and educate wherever I can, so I have put together a guide to DIY Porn - how to make it and feel good doing it. If you've ever watched porn and thought "that looks like fun" - or "I could do better than that!" - this guide is for you
     

Pandora Blake lazily smiling at camera baring their cleavage


Dreams of Spanking Scenes

I am delighted that over on Dreams of Spanking we are putting out a new release every single week. Not only that, we are planning a major upgrade on the website to make the vision I have in my head a reality. Dreams of Spanking has evolved massively in the near-decade we’ve been going, and I’d like the site to reflect that. Here are our January releases in no particular order.

Keep reading »

Tags: blog, January, news, porn, roundup, spanking, update

1010 comments

On Hiring Marginalised Folk

Posted at 15:00 on 19 Jan 2021 by Pandora / Blake



I saw a Tweet recently that caught my eye:

"One day I want to run a business big enough to hire disabled/marginalized folks. I want to create a business model designed to be flexible enough to accommodate accessibility needs, schedules, etc [...] So many disabled folks could work if they really got the accommodations they actually needed. And we should be able to get that without all the animosity and disdain that usually comes from employers when asking to be accommodated."

- @hedonish 


“Hey!”, I thought. “That’s my business!”

I’m not an employer, exactly; everyone who works “for” me is actually freelance, and I’m their client as much as their boss. But the point stands: all the contractors I regularly collaborate with belong to groups which are often discriminated again.

This decision wasn’t a deliberate strategy; more of a gut preference. One way or another the team I’ve assembled is a diverse one, a majority of us are LGBTQ, and there's a range of mental and physical disabilities represented, as well as a wide variety of neurodiversities. Not all of us are able to maintain full-time jobs for various reasons, and I suspect none of us thrive in a traditional office environment. We all have different preferences, different needs and different working hours. Now that I’ve tried running things like this, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

For one thing, I include myself in this. I have yet to pursue a formal diagnosis (there’s sort of an apocalypse on, and all that), but I've known for a few years now that I'm ADHD, and the more I learn about it, the more I suspect I may also be autistic. It would explain a lot about my history, my childhood, my personality, and the things I struggle with on a daily basis. I live in a creative and stressful tension between my desire for structure and clarity, and my impulsive enthusiasms, the ideas and fascinations that come to me in a flash and can carry me away for days if I let them. I feel lucky to have put together a group of people who can roll with those two contradictory modes, who can handle new ideas and sudden changes of plan while also managing to maintain an ongoing schedule. Some of our best work has come out of being able to maintain flexibility within that framework.

This flexibility obviously doesn’t only work one way. I’m proud to provide a working environment in which we can accommodate each other’s needs. Sometimes people need to take a mental health day or even a mental health week, and they can’t always give a lot of notice when that happens. Chronic health conditions can fluctuate at unexpected times, and make working difficult with little forewarning. Not to mention the constraints of parenting and childcare. I make an effort to regularly check in with everyone on the team to find out where they’re at, what they need and how they’re feeling about the work. It’s a bit like what I do when I’m in charge on set; as the “director” it’s my job to make sure that everyone is as safe and happy as possible, and that we’re all on the same page about what’s going on.

I guess it’s kind of natural that I’d run my business this way. I’m neurodivergent myself, my mental health hasn’t always been exactly pristine, and I’ve never thrived on doing things the way the proverbial “everyone else” does them. But what it’s taught me is that almost any organisation could benefit from adopting some of these practices - if only they’d see past their preconceived ideas of what a working environment should be like.

We rarely have face-to-face meetings at a preassigned time; almost all of our communication takes place over Asana and Slack. This means we can accommodate everyone’s working hours no matter what they are - one person can start at 6am, another can stick with a standard 9-5 structure, and our night owls can turn things in at three in the morning, all without anyone being either judged or inconvenienced. 

This in turn has been good for my own working practices, as it encourages me to plan ahead - something that reduces my stress levels significantly. It’s also helped me to get better at documenting processes and condensing things into clear requests, as I know I won’t always be available to answer questions at the precise time someone needs to ask them. I’ve been more organised and better able to maintain my own boundaries as a result.

We’re trying to establish a working culture in which we can be honest about how we’re feeling, where we’re at and what’s going on for us. This not cultivates respect and empathy, and helps me stay connected to my collaborators as human beings, it also means I can plan around life stuff when it comes up. It means that if someone meets an unexpected trigger (which is always a possibility, given that I’m making kinky porn and writing about deeply emotive politics) they can just tell me it’s not the right day for them to be working on that content, or that they need someone else to take over on a particular project so they can step away. The work still gets done, I’m not left in the dark as to why something is delayed, and nobody is putting themselves through unnecessary stress.

Keep reading »

Tags: business ethics, business strategy, equality, leadership, oppression, social justice, work

15 comments

Special Offer - Ends 23 January

Posted at 14:27 on 16 Jan 2021 by Pandora / Blake



It's a new year, a new lockdown, and I'm pleased and excited to announce a new Patreon special offer for January, making it more rewarding than ever for you to support my work! One of these rewards has been up my sleeve for quite some time...

I'm super stoked to have some new merch to give away - the SHAME LESS enamel pin. We had to pick just one pride flag for this one, out of the three options on the t-shirts, so I went with my favourite colours, purple, pink and blue - which just happen to by the colours of the bi pride flag.

Of course, you don't have to be bisexual to sport this pin. The Shame Less slogan stands for everything we're working towards: challenging shame culture in the fight for better sex education and greater empathy for each other's uniqueness; more open conversations about sex, kink and consent; and greater personal freedom and bodily autonomy for all. Let's shame each other less - and be absolutely shameless!

Keep reading »

Tags: book, Dreams of Spanking, merch, reward, rewards, Shame Less, shame resilience, special offer, Watch Me Write

1096 comments

SISEA: The Fourth Horseman of the Pornocalypse

Posted at 15:00 on 4 Jan 2021 by Pandora / Blake

Recently I published a post discussing the substantial change to Pornhub’s community guidelines which has seen millions of videos removed from the site, and Visa and Mastercard removing billing from PornHub during their investigation into illegal content, which will hit content creators hard.

In what appears to be a response to these changes - or perhaps to the anti-porn fearmongering that prompted them - an invasive bill has been put forward in the US Senate with extensive regulation proposals for adult sites. The bill - known as the Stop Internet Sexual Exploitation Act (SISEA) - proposes regulations such as a requirement for platforms to operate a 24-hour telephone hotline that you can contact to request removal of a pornographic image if you haven’t consented to its upload, and remove flagged videos within two hours of such a request.

Tackling unconsensual images is important, but this bill would represent the end of online porn. The privacy implications are terrifying (a global database of individuals who have indicated they do not consent, accessible by anyone uploading porn? Really?) and the impact on independent porn sites would be devastating. Show me a single indie producer who could staff a 24hr phone line, because I don’t know any. The full list of restrictions that SISEA is looking to bring in is alarming. Most online sex workers rely on platforms like OnlyFans and Clips4Sale, and advertise on Twitter. It seems likely that OnlyFans and Twitter would stop hosting porn rather than comply with these expensive and burdonsome regulations; and platforms dedicated to porn might well lack the resources to comply. If the umbrella term ‘platforms’ includes indie self-hosted porn sites as well, it's the end of online porn as we know it.

I don’t say this lightly - if this bill gets through it's the end of porn on Twitter, and the end of fan sites, clip sites and membership sites. Sex workers are already being squeezed out of most social media spaces by commercial regulations making it harder and harder to advertise. Selling sexual content online is accessible, COVID-safe work. In a pandemic, destroying the online sex industry means taking much-needed income away from struggling individuals. The callousness is staggering. Do they want people to be mixing households by meeting clients in person, and putting themselves at greater risk of violence and arrest by selling sex outdoors, instead of performing in the safety of their bedrooms? Because that’s exactly what will happen with the introduction of this bill into law.

Even if SISEA doesn't pass, the threat alone is enough to put us in our place - as our governments desire so much. Porn creators are in an abusive relationship with financial institutions and governments. They can ruin us any time they care to -  and they like showing it. Bills like this remind us of our precarity, and it's humiliating.

In my sex positive online bubble, working hard to build my business, I sometimes forget that  much of the world thinks I should stop doing what I'm doing. This bill serves as an unwelcome reminder that the mood out there is hostile. 

It is absolutely essential to the health and diversity of our sexual culture, not to mention the survival of sex workers worldwide, that we prevent this from becoming law. If you're in the US, write to your senator - and I encourage you to donate to the Free Speech Coalition to support them in their battle against SISEA.

This isn't the happy tidings I hoped to start the year with. It's a timely reminder that porn censorship never goes away completely - it just recedes for a while.

This post was funded by my 110 Patrons. To power my activism and my writing on sexual freedom and social justice, join my Patreon community here

Keep reading »

Tags: censorship, Free Speech Coalition, independent porn, law, Porn Censorship, porn law, Pornhub, pornocalypse, SISEA

7 comments

Comparison is the ladder

Posted at 15:00 on 29 Dec 2020 by Pandora / Blake



A few weeks back I wrote a very personal post about body shame, gender dysphoria and bodily autonomy that is up there amongst of the most raw and emotional things I’ve written for this blog. It was difficult to write and a little nerve-wracking to post, but it felt important both to me personally and as a wider topic for discussion.

While all that was stewing in my brain, my therapist and I talked about the things I was struggling with . She recommended a book called The Body Is Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor, and an episode of Brené Brown’s excellent podcast ‘Unlocking Us’, in which Sonya Renee Taylor comes on as a guest to speak about the book. I’ve not had a chance to read the full book yet, but the podcast alone has blown my tiny mind. All of the questions I asked in that post have been addressed simply by hearing Sonya Renee Taylor speak.

Her approach centres around a concept that she calls ‘the ladder’. The ladder is the hierarchy of bodies upheld by our oppressive society: the colour of your skin, whether you’re thin or fat, whether you’re disabled or not, how closely you conform to society’s beauty standards, your age, your transness or cisness. I hadn't realised it before, but most oppression in our society is based on the body, and on judging other people based on what they look like. Even wealth and class is often rooted deeply within the body; our size, appearance and how free we are to climb the ladder and gain status based on our body varied depending on our financial and social power. 

Keep reading »

Tags: body image, body positivity, body shame, feminism, food, gender, hierarchy, oppression, patriarchy, power, self-acceptance, self-love, shame, social justice, social transformation

2 comments

« Older      

Want to read more? Join my Patreon community
Become a Patron!

Find Pandora online

Feminist porn

Spanking porn

Spanking blogs

Sex and Politics blogs

Toplists & directories