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To party or not to party

Posted at 11:13 on 19 Sep 2006 by Pandora / Blake

Tags: dominance and submission, making a scene, Performers and producers, those crazy kinksters

When I started doing spanking modelling, I decided that I was only going to do modelling, not anything approaching professional submission. No 1-2-1s, no spanking parties. I don't have anything against those women who choose to be pro-subs, but it was a line I wanted to draw for myself: I'm a model and an actress, and work isn't "personal", no matter how much fun I have. The tops and togs I work with don't get a piece of me. I maintain a degree of professional detachment, and I expect the people I'm shooting with to do the same.

It's partly a game: of course people make spanking films because they enjoy spanking, and I'm modelling in films because I enjoy being spanked, but the first aim of a shoot should always be to make a good movie. Anyone who goes into a shoot with their main objective being to spank my bottom, rather than create good images, isn't someone I'm comfortable working with. That we enjoy spanking is a perk of what we do, not the first aim of working together. While I do enjoy erotic CP in private, and I will admit to getting a bit hot and flustered sometimes when we're producing a really good scene, shoots aren't primarily sexual for me. And I expect the same attitude from whoever is doing the spanking.

Hence drawing the line: even if the cameramen and spankers in the companies I film with are privately enjoying the spanking they're giving me, their first priority is making good films and their attitude is courteous and professional. It's trickier with individual photographers: a lot of men think that just carrying a camera with them gives them the right to a 1-2-1, as if they could trick me into letting them spank me under the guise of a shoot. Never mind the fact that it's nearly impossible to take decent spanking pics with the same pair of hands doing the spanking and holding the camera; I'm not that gullible, and if I've done all the reference checks and make the choice to shoot with an independent photographer, I'm going to damn well let him know if he crosses the line.

I was never particularly interested in the idea of parties (they don't pay as well as 1-2-1s, and you don't even get any images for your portfolio out of it) until I read this entry by Adele Haze. I keep being advised to do parties for the sake of networking and self-publicity: if you're producing your own paysite, it's one of the best bits of marketing you can do. And reading Adele's entry, it actually sounded like a lot of fun. I really want to meet other spankees - I barely know any - and this seems like the best way to do it. A friend was holding one in North London next week, and I started to think that maybe I should go along.

So I asked D. how he'd feel about it. D. and I are non-monogamous, but he's my Dominant and as a result he has a say in these things. His instinctive result was immediate: that he'd feel the same way about me being spanked by a bunch of paying strangers as he would if I was going round giving them all head.

He acknowledged that this was a kneejerk response, and so we talked about it for a while. The conclusion was that for D., spanking parties fall on the same side of the line as 1-2-1s. The intent of the men spanking me is undisguisedly sexual. There's no veneer of professionalism, no detachment on their part, even if there is on mine: and while my reason for being there might be networking and publicity, their reason for being there is self-interested and erotic.

It is a fine line. I model for spanking porn, the aim of which is certainly erotic. I'm not sure why being perved over in person is worse than being perved over in photos. I think had I been left to make the decision myself, I might have decided that any line you draw is arbitrary, I should basically only do what I'm comfortable with, and if I want to do spanking parties then that's probably good enough. But the decision isn't just mine, and I'd far, far rather keep my lord and lover happy than make a bit of cash. It's not like he's overruled a decision, just informed one: he wouldn't be happy if I did, and I care more about him than about attending parties. Much more :)

So, no spanking parties for Pandora, I'm afraid. There must be other ways of meeting other models, after all. Does the spanking industry do group shoots? If anyone knows of one coming up, feel free to point me at it :)


[...] long ago, in the mists of time, I defined my boundaries as a spanking professional. I’d decided early on that I wasn’t [...]

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