This year the chilli plants in my garden seem to be thriving. I have more hot peppers than I know what to do with. I use them in my cooking whenever I can (I love spicy food) but even then, my plants were getting bowed down with unpicked chillies, and I was worried that they’d [...]
Archive for September, 2009
bodies and politics
My friend who has spent several years working with urban sex workers pointed me at a couple of heated discussions about sex work lately. Of course, conversations about sex work are often heated, mostly because not enough of the people participating in public debate seem to understand that it’s just as unhelpful to generalise about [...]
Celebrating bisexuality
Today is International Celebrate Bisexuality Day! Ideally, I would celebrate my bisexuality by having kinky sex with a small selection of my favourite bisexual boys, girls and people inbetween, but I’m going out drinking with a big selection of them instead. Which is almost as good.
I first identified as bisexual when I was thirteen, nearly half my life ago. For the two years before that I was very confused: I knew I was utterly smitten with my female best friend, but I also knew, in a naive pubescent way, that there was no reason I might not choose a man as my life partner some day if I met the right guy. Then I discovered the concept of bisexuality (possibly on the Internet, but probably in one of the erotic books for women that my mum failed to successfully hide from me) and everything made much more sense.
When my relationship with my best friend developed into a sexual one, I became swept up in the full flush of first love. Clearly, my love and I were fated to be together forever. Clearly, therefore, I must be gay. I believed this until I entered the sixth form, at which point all the mean, spotty boys I knew started growing into tall, handsome young men. I realised I’d been bisexual all along, I just hadn’t ever fancied teenage boys. Which is, you know, fair enough.
Peter from Bi Social News has written an excellent article asking: what is it that bisexuals have to celebrate? He answers his own question:
Bisexuality is an invitation to complexity. There is no coloring in between the lines with bisexuality because there are no lines to color in between. The world is open to us. What matters here then is defining an ethical code of our own. In other words, an invitation to complexity is an imperative to critical thinking and making reasoned choices. … Bisexuality exists as both potential and realization always, especially if you are monogamous.Being bisexual is emotionally intense and intellectually demanding, because it requires constant engagement and evaluation as part of the package. When we bisexuals live up to the challenge, we show healthy models for human relations and that’s what we should be aiming for.
I am proud to be bisexual. It opens up limitless possibilities and models for relationships, sex, love. I am blessed to be able to enjoy the romantic and erotic company of men, women, and those inbetween. Because my interest is not limited to the cisgendered, I prefer the word queer to describe my own sexuality: I do not consider gender to be a binary, and I am not only attracted to those at the extreme ends of the spectrum. But for today, I’m happy to identify as bisexual, and celebrate that fact.
Today is necessary, not just as a love-fest for those of us similarly inclined, but to challenge the many problems our culture has with bisexual invisibility and prejudice. The LGBT movement has gained increasing force in the last few decades, but too often bisexuals are excluded from the language of LGBT rights, or shunned by individuals trying to reinforce their black-and-white view of the world. While the entertainment industry has started to admit the existence of real gay men and women, bisexual characters are almost never recognised in films and TV. Bisexuality is rarely mentioned in politics or public conversations about LGBT rights. Our culture has very few models for healthy bisexuality, and (perhaps as a result) stereotypes and prejudice abound. We are accused of indecision (‘staying on the fence’; ‘not making up your mind’), greed (‘wanting our cake and eating it’), disloyalty, betrayal and lack of solidarity. We are told we lack self-awareness and emotional maturity (‘you’ll grow out of it’; ‘you’re just going through a phase’). Too often, our identity is denied and erased from public perception.
I’m preaching to the choir here: the kink scene is unusually aware and accepting of the range of human sexuality, and I’m sure you all already know this stuff. So I’ll get off the soapbox, and finish up my mini-celebration of being queer with some bisexual spanking photos.
This is Leia-Ann Woods, Honey Hardy, Jadie Reece and Stephen Lewis all looking gorgeous in Northern Spanking‘s recent high-definition film Girls’ Night In, beautifully photographed by Billy. The ladies are having fun enjoying each other when Leia’s hubby walks in, catching them in the act of admiring and appreciating one another’s bottoms. Well, what do you expect the man to do? Spank them, of course!
Happy International Celebrate Bisexuality Day, everyone. To all my fellow queers, I hope you have heaps of fun celebrating your sexuality in whatever way you prefer. Here’s to embracing the power of ‘and’.
spanking art and feedback loops
Last week, Abby Williams used a delightful drawing to illustrate her Talk Like A Pirate Day-themed flash fiction. My appreciation for spanking art is almost entirely inherited from Tom. He’s one of those old-fashioned chaps who prefer drawings to photos when it comes to porn. Webcomics and graphic novels are even better (it was Tom [...]
The Garden Party
I adore this photo of Ludwig from his and Adele‘s recent Lupus film, The Garden Party:

Yum. Spanking porn should definitely have more young, dark, handsome tops in military uniform.
Ludwig has just finished his detailled, fascinating write-up of topping for Lupus. The story was started earlier this week, in his previous posts The Company of Wolves and A Dragoon’s Life. It’s particularly interesting to read about Lupus from the perspective of a top – and while Ludwig is honest about his sadism, he’s also clearly respectful, considerate and thoughtful, which makes for a compelling perspective.
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Speaking of outdoor spanking films starring Adele and dark handsome tops, tomorrow morning is the last leg of filming for our Roué film Lost Causes. Nothing so entertaining as the main shoot, sadly: this involves getting up at 6am to film some location shots, and it’s just me, so I won’t have my fellow cast-members for company. The film is edited and in post-production, waiting for these shots to be dropped in; Tom and I watched a copy of the edit a couple of weeks ago and are really happy with it so far. I’m not looking forward to the early start, but it’ll feel great to finally get the last of the footage wrapped.
for sale / sold
I was cycling home from work last week, when I caught sight of something out of the corner of my eye. It was so intriguing I had to pull over and walk my bike back along the pavement to get a closer look. Yes, that is an antique gym horse, displayed outside an antique furnishings [...]
I’m not here right now …
… Please leave a message after the *beep*. (photo by Crusier) Sorry for the unexplained silence. I’m still alive, just trying not to wear myself into the ground doing too many things at once, for what might just be the first time in my life. I still haven’t had that holiday, but between work and [...]

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