Posted at 16:21 on 4 Nov 2009 by Pandora / Blake
I had an intense experience while Tom and I were on holiday. It was the first night, and the mood was celebratory: I made lasagne, we got out the musical instruments and had a bit of a jam, drank some wine. The whole holiday stretched gloriously ahead of us. After the stress of getting there, we were just starting to relax.
I'd been keen to play for days, so I didn't take much encouragement when Tom pulled a chair into the centre of the lounge and drew me over his lap. You may be surprised to learn how rarely I get to do this in our personal play. Chairs, you see, are a ubiquitous feature of spanking films: but at home, we play in crammed London bedrooms or nowhere at all. My flat is too small for chairs, and all the chairs in his house are shared with housemates. I'm far more used to playing on and around a bed than in a living room with proper chairs.
But there's something lovely about going over the knee when they're sitting on a proper hard straightbacked chair. Being slightly further away from the floor, being able to stretch out your legs properly, the infantilising feeling of not being able to see what's happening, your weight pressing your palms into the carpet. The headrush of keeping your head down, combining with the pain.
The spanking was slow and extended and lovely. I'm afraid I can't remember any of the details: he started with his hands, my bottom was swiftly bared and despite the sharpness of the smacks I was delighted, compliant, his willing accomplice in turning my bottom a bright shade of red. I think he used a hairbrush on me, and maybe a tawse, but I'm not sure. I yelped and whimpered, of course, because I like yelping and whimpering, but I wasn't really complaining. I remember feeling giddy, turned on, and utterly safe in his hands.
The best moment by far, though, was afterwards. I got to my feet, flushed and off-balance. I was led over to the corner by the door, shuffling with my jeans and knickers around my ankles. Tom told me to put my hands on my head, and wait there for him.
As he closed the door behind him I was immediately suffused with a sensation of peace and wellbeing. I focussed meditatively on the wall in front of me, aware of my breath, mind deliciously empty. As my thoughts started to return the first one was how awesome it was to carve out space in the day to just be. To not be rushing from one thing to the next, not be driving myself to achieve more, not be worrying or planning or analysing. Just being. I know how to meditate but I only do it just before sleep, or sometimes when I'm doing some kind of private ritual. I should do it every day, really, but it's so much less interesting than all the creative crazy stuff I fill my live with.
Tom came back in and snapped a couple of photos, then settled in with a book. My arms were aching but I knew he'd leave it just longer than was comfortable, then check in on me.
Normally the waiting elements of service and submission drive me nuts. Waiting to be called, waiting in the kitchen after you've served the guests. I'm not very patient and I hate feeling like time is being wasted. But after I've been spanked, it's easier to find that zen space where the stillness itself seems valuable. Rather than trying to carve out a time on my own to meditate, maybe it would work better for me to get soundly spanked and put in the corner on a regular basis. Tom would certainly enjoy it :)
Of course, shortly after this all my physical fatigue caught up with me. All of a sudden my chronic back pain started yelling at me for keeping my shoulders in the unnatural position, and I started to shake. I endured it for another minute or so before admitting that I was struggling, and asking for a break.
Tom came over and gave me a hug and I squeezed my face against his chest, overwhelmed with emotion. Suddenly a part of me resented having to carry on standing there while I was in pain. It was mixed up: I was simultaneously upset that he hadn't been telepathic, and with myself for not being able to put up with it longer. But I had a little cry and a long cuddle, and after the brief feelings of disappointment faded, the peacefulness I'd enjoyed beforehand was still there.