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undignified spanking self-portraits

Posted at 14:40 on 4 Dec 2009 by Pandora / Blake

Tags: funny, meta-analysis, Photos

This morning Eliane raised the subject of taking photos of stripes in work toilets. As far as I am concerned, this practice is entirely a good thing if it results in the tantalising glimpse she posted of her rather delicious marks. It is also something of which I have a certain amount of experience.

I have never been able to get the hang of self-bottom-portraits without a mirror. However I position myself, camera angled over shoulder or lying on the bed, the best I can hope for is this:

... And even that with a ridiculously low success rate resulting in dozens of blurry pictures of my bedroom wall. So, mirrors it is. I'm a bit lacking in full-length mirrors at home, and my flat is so tiny that the reflections tend to be dominated by all my stuff rather than my vain self. At one point my mirror was at the top of the stairs, which enabled me to send D. photo messages such as this one:

But since it also carried the risk of the mirror falling down the stairs and killing me, it didn't stay there long.

This reliance on mirrors has obvious consequences on the question of sneaking photos of the results of last nights' play in the work toilets. At my current workplace, the cubicles do not contain mirrors, but there are full-length mirrors by the sinks. I am not above waiting until no-one else is in the loos and recklessly flashing the place to sneak a photo in the mirror. No-one's caught me at it yet...

(Results of my first session with Zoe Montana, hastily snapped in the work loos - the eagle-eyed will detect the sink and taps in the background)

At my previous workplace, the toilets were somewhat more private; each little room containing a single loo, sink, and mirror. You could lock the door and take photos without fear of disturbance. However, the mirrors were not full-length - in order to frame one's striped bottom perfectly for a shot, one was obliged to clamber up on the sideboard, one foot on either side of the sink, and balance precariously while trying to get the camera angle right (an experience familiar from my first glamour shoot - clearly I've gained no dignity since then):

Of course, ideally I'd always wait until I had a willing companion to help photograph my marks, but sometimes when you're sitting uncomfortably in the office, head whirling with the previous days' memories, there's nothing for it but a quick-n-dirty self-portrait. Or is that just me? Spankees, switches, shameless exhibitionists - Have you succumbed to the temptation of sneaking pics in the work loos? If not, what are the most amusing lengths you've ever gone to to snap a memento of your play?


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