Posted at 18:58 on 30 Jul 2009 by Pandora / Blake
D. and I have spent a lot of time together this month, working on some shared geeky projects. Among other things, he's helping me with the back-end of my embryonic spanking film site.
We've worked together before, when I did some freelance work a couple of years ago for the company he was with at the time. He was my point of contact with the company and we talked each project over on IRC. The problem with this was that we already spent every day chatting on IRC, and so we found ourselves talking about work stuff in the same state of mind as we had more personal conversations. More than once this resulted in rows caused by one or both of us getting frustrated and failing to remain professional.
I like to think I've grown up a lot since then, as a person and a businesswoman. D. and I have certainly grown stronger over this period, got more used to each other's quirks and better at communicating and diffusing conflict. This spring and summer have been particularly good for D. and I - in fact, it's been great for both my relationships, demonstrating an aspect of polyamory at its best: the positive feedback loop. The more stable and happy one relationship is, the more stable and happy I am, and the more energy and cheer and love there is splashing around the three of us in general.
One of the things that's been good for me and D. lately is working on web projects. See, I love him lots, and we've been together three and a half years now, but early on in the relationship I sometimes remarked that although we had unbelievably, incandescently good sex, but we didn't really have that much in common. Well, we must have grown together over those three and a half years, or just grown more comfortable with our differences, because these days that doesn't feel true at all. I think it's important for couples to have shared activities outside the bedroom - shared skills that you can enjoy together, whether it's playing tennis, playing games, making music or something else. Something more active than just watching a DVD together: a time when you can invest your energies together in something you both care about, share respect and trust in each other's skills, and satisfaction at what you've achieved.
For D. and I, that something seems to be making websites. We have overlapping, complementary skills, we both think the other is great at what they do, and we have lots to teach each other. And since we started working together in earnest, it has been fantastic for our sex life.
Photo courtesy of the inimitable and very fanciable Anna of nerdpr0n.com.
Coding and spanking have several things in common. They're both high-energy pursuits with intense feedback loops that yield a lot of satisfaction. Getting a computer to do what you want it to is a high that's been compared to drugs, and the programmers' euphoric state of extreme focus and determination is legendary. It's easy to forget the time and stay up all night. And, it turns out, both spanking and programming get me and D. excited.
A little while ago we spent a long weekend coding. We were both stressed, driven, jittery with caffeine; although I felt very connected to him while we were working, by the time we stopped work sometime after midnight on the Saturday night, we were clearly in no state for anything more demanding than a cuddle. I went to sleep hoping that we'd be able to be more intimate in the morning. I'd bought a pair of hot pink peeptoe stilettos that day, and I wanted to break them in in my favourite way - balanced on D.'s shoulders, toes pointing at the ceiling.
Sadly, my neighbours had other ideas: we were rudely awoken at 8am by loud Brazilian pop music blaring through an open window. Grumbling and cursing, we made tea and got up, deciding that since we were awake we may as well get on with work.
By midday, we were thoroughly absorbed in our code, and sharing that charge of electricity you get when a programming project is flowing well. My hand kept sliding onto D.'s knee, and we'd stop and kiss to celebrate fixing a bug or writing a particularly elegant line of code. I was feeling pretty damn good, and decided that hot pink peeptoe stilettoes were the perfect accessory to suit my mood.
At this point I discovered something I had never known before: wearing 4" heels at your desk does wonders for your seated posture. Suddenly my typing position was 100% ergonomic. It was a miracle!
Even more miraculous was the effect it had on D. Within five minutes I found myself upended over his lap for no good reason at all, except to enjoy the sight of me in bare legs and high heels, which is a pretty good reason really. The smacks were delivered good-naturedly, but firm enough to count, and I squeaked and giggled my way through an utterly delicious concentration break. Once my bottom had been attended to, I enthusiastically attended to D.'s pleasure, and was delighted to find myself being dragged upstairs and fucked as hard as I like it in my pretty new shoes.
I swear we wrote better code when we returned, flushed and grinning, back to our desk. I'm sure work isn't meant to be this much fun.