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Posted at 09:33 on 5 Aug 2009 by Pandora / Blake

Take one sub, her very beautiful Dom, a red slinky dress, a sharp pair of scissors, and a length of rope. Where do you imagine this might lead?

Our photographer was Tricia Sullivan, whom I've been wanting to work with again since our shoot with Jimmy in February. I really like her style; you'll be seeing more of her work in future.

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Tags: D, dominance and submission, Photos, porn production


like a drowned rat

Posted at 18:30 on 6 Aug 2009 by Pandora / Blake

This is me right now:

Have I been taken by the arms and had my head held under water by the prison guards, to teach me a lesson when I refused to co-operate? Have I been scrubbed down by a firm and unyielding Nanny, ignoring my squeals as her rough washbrush scraped my nipples, which were bitten bullet-hard by the cold water?

Actually I've just cycled home in a tremendous deluge, pushing through puddles so deep the wheels of my bike sent up plumes of water too heavy for me to pedal through. When I got home I tumbled inside looking like a drowned rat, as my mother would say, took my trainers off on the front doorstep to tip the water out, and peeled my sodden jeans off straight into the shower.

I made it home at top speed though, whirring through the empty, flooded streets as fast as I could, adrenaline coursing through my body. I didn't want to be out any longer than I had to, sure, but I found a subversive delight in racing through London in the rain, battling the streams of water and grinning as lesser mortals cowered indoors. Now I'm home with hot tea and a fluffy bathrobe, and free to enjoy the thoughts of what might have just happened to me ...

... Perhaps a headstrong young lady, slipping out of her bedroom window at night to scale the roofs on some adventure? She would have lost her footing on a loose tile and fallen, to her lasting humilation, into the waterbutt outside the kitchens. Her thrashing would have wakened the servants, who would have come running out with candles and barefeet to fish her out. The under-maids would giggle, the kitchen boys would snigger at the sight of her wet nightdress plastered to her young body, and the grim-faced butler would take her to her father's study to explain what, exactly, she thought she had been doing ...

She would have recovered her composure by the time he addressed her, and would face his temper with a haughty silence. But the cane hurts more on a wet bottom ...

Photos by Dogstar.

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Tags: corrupting the innocent, Fantasies, Photos, Victoriana

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not quite feeling the love

Posted at 18:28 on 7 Aug 2009 by Pandora / Blake

D. and I are going to Torture Garden tonight. It's been a long time since we went clubbing together - the last time was Halloween last year, and we had a wonderful night. Since then we've both been out to fetish clubs with our other partners, but not together, and I found myself increasingly missing it. So we booked tickets to go to the Summer Love Underwater Ball tonight, which is at Club Colosseum, a venue I haven't been to before but which D. rates relatively highly. I usually like the summer TGs, they're less full of tourists and have a friendlier atmosphere.

I'd toyed with the idea of throwing together a mermaid costume, but was so busy I decided not to put any extra pressure on myself. So I'm going in my lacy BoundCon dress and my new hot-pink stilettos, both of which have a pleasing track record for getting me molested by D. And I'm not unhappy with my body right now, and D. and I are great - there's loads of love and lust and energy splashing around in our connection right now, and our D/s relationship has been very affirmed recently, and it'll be nice to express that on public, play with people watching and grin at each other on the dancefloor.

Except that I'm knackered. Any of you following my twitter feed will know that I've been overdoing it lately - and that's on the back of overdoing it for about the last nine months. I need a holiday, and I can't have one because of deadlines and housemoves and exciting projects I committed myself to months ago. I'm working on that, but in the meantime I'm fragile with exhaustion.

So, lovely readers, this is where you come in. Help me get in the mood for going out tonight. Tell me of fun nights you have had playing or fucking or flirting in public. Tell me about your mental images after hearing about my lacy dress and hotpink heels. Tell me what you'd like to watch D. and I get up to, if you were going to TG tonight (and if any of you are, do come and say hi!). Tell me your rude thoughts to get me in the mood, and if all goes well I'll be able to report back on Monday and tell you some exciting stories in return.

I don't know if anyone's online on a Friday night, so I might be just shooting this into the void. But writing it has improved my mood a bit, if only making me smile at my love for D. and how he makes me feel. So I'll finish this by posting a soppy photo from last October's TG. Hope you don't mind.

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Tags: D, dominance and submission, making a scene, Photos

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Fiona Locke: uncovered!

Posted at 22:07 on 11 Aug 2009 by Pandora / Blake

Well folks, the mystery is revealed, along with the fact that Fiona was, in fact, responsible for starting the "guessing game" - although not for quite how chaotic it got!

At the time I wrote Over the Knee (yes, me!) I had reasons for keeping my two personae separate. But, as Tony Elka likes to remind me, "The Titanic had compartments too."

So rather than make a boring "Hey guys, guess what?" post, I thought it would be more fun to get my friends in on a little mischief. I asked them to start speculating on who Fiona Locke was and - ideally - claim that they WERE her. I thought it would last about a week, that someone would point out the obvious similarities at once and that would be that.

- Niki Flynn

All of us know what it's like to maintain multiple identities - some more developed than others. I continue to be amazed that Niki/Fiona/Angie maintained the separation between her author persona, her personal correspondence, and her acting persona, even after the actor got a book deal! It took a lot of work, a lot of thought, and a lot of care, but I'm very glad that she's now able to publically take the credit for her combined talents and hard work.

I hope those of you who weren't "in the know" didn't mind us humouring Fiona in her coming-out game. I could understand if some of you feel deceived or suspicious, and it took some effort for me to play along without outright lying or giving the game away. So, now that the secret's out, I hope Fiona won't mind if I tell you the story of how I discovered her identity.

In 2004, I got together with Tom: it was my first D/s relationship, and inevitably intense. I was in my second year at uni, and still very young in some ways. That November he surprised me with a trip to Night of the Cane. It was my first fetish event, and the first time I'd played in public. I was nervous as well, but we dressed up in our best Victoriana (I was rocking the dishevelled-underwear look in corset and petticoats). At that point in our relationship Tom was training me in scene manners and etiquette; I knew how many steps to walk behind him, how to hold the coats and implements he passed to me; I knew not to speak unless given permission, to address him and any other Dom as Sir or Ma'am, to be respectful and deferential. I fetched his drinks, I knelt by his chair. It was comforting to have that structure and discipline, and I needed that comfort: I found the event overwhelming to the point of being upsetting.

I was caned on a gym horse in the main bar, with an audience: that was fine though, because my petticoats were frothed up around my waist and I couldn't see who was looking. I thought I took the strokes well, but the endorphines didn't really help ground me. I felt out of place, not knowing anyone; I couldn't start conversations or get to know people, and Tom mostly seemed content to watch.

As we were sitting watching a schoolroom scene in the main room, Ishmael came over and asked if we wanted to enter the caning competition. We'd talked about this beforehand, and I'd said I wasn't ready; but when Tom found out they were still accepting entrants, he added our names to the list. He thought I'd be okay, having seen how well I'd coped with playing in public. Unfortunately, when I found out, I freaked out. I wasn't ready at all, and I wasn't comfortable with him signing me up without checking, and after I'd expressed this to him I felt wretched and guilty for not being brave enough to live up to his expectations.

So it was a difficult night for me, if an enlightening and exciting one, and I didn't speak to many people. But we saw Fiona and Cameron's entry in the caning competition, and liked it very much - I admired their costumes, stage presence, humour and CP technique. Here's what I wrote in my personal journal a few days later:

The most memorable entry was a couple doing a naval roleplay; he was bearded, tall and authoritative, wearing a trim white Navy uniform, and she was petite and exceptionally cute in a very short purple cheerleader's outfit, and cropped brown hair. They did some acting, she did the sulky sub thing brilliantly (not something I'll ever do, but still fun to watch), pouting and squealing and kicking her heels. The best moment was immediately after the first stroke, when she yelped "fuck!" and the entire room burst into applause (although the drunk wankers next to us started jeering, which made me think If that had been me and people had laughed at ME, I'd have broken there and then).

Afterwards we started chatting to Fiona and Cameron on the British Spanking Forums, and arranged to meet up with them to chat - and possibly play. Unfortunately, for personal reasons, we couldn't take them up on their offer; and kink became less of a feature in our lives for a while after that.

Skip ahead two years, and (with Tom's encouragement) Pandora makes her debut on the spanking scene: I met Niki Flynn at my shoot with Bars and Stripes, and thought she was fabulous (I'd barely heard of her fame at that point, but when I went home and read about what she'd done, I was even more impressed) but didn't recognise her. A few weeks later, Tom and I went back to Night of the Cane, at which I was determined to be less of a wuss.

As you know, Tom and I ended up having quite a lot of fun with Niki and HH that evening. We hadn't chatted before the event, and when I saw HH, I recognised him as Cameron and went over to give him a hug, and do the "OMG, I haven't seen you for two years!" thing. He was standing next to Niki, with her dark hair cut in the shoulder-length bob she'd sported at Bars and Stripes. "But where's Fiona?" I asked him, delighted. When he whispered that Niki was Fiona, I was even more taken aback - how had I not recognised her at the shoot?

But there it was. She is a lady of many talents, and being unrecognisable is apparently one of them. I'm glad to know her, to have shared some really intense scenes with her and HH, and to have read all of her books!

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Tags: Fiona Locke, kink, making a scene, Niki Flynn, other pictures, Photos, Thomas Cameron, those crazy kinksters


too hardcore for women?

Posted at 17:28 on 17 Aug 2009 by Pandora / Blake

Some friends of mine recently started a magazine called Filament. Billed as 'the thinking woman's crumpet', it aims to buck the trend of consumerist, diet-and-gossip-obsessed women's magazines which, despite their claims, are very rarely woman-positive. Filament focusses on the female gaze, and features erotic photoshoots of beautiful boys alongside well-written, intelligent articles. The first issue contains a grand total of two adverts, and the only women pictured are real, interesting, and decidedly non-airbrushed.

It's received some well-deserved media attention, including a Guardian article last week about the contraversial decision to include full frontal male nudity in the second issue.

Filament, responding to reader feedback, had planned to include a photo set of an aroused man in their second (September) issue. It's not illegal to print images of erections but the Obscene Publications Act is notoriously vague. After taking legal advice, Filament intended to make a test case of sorts. Its printers, however, refused, citing potential objections from "the women's/religious sectors". As a new, independent publisher, Filament can't yet afford more liberal-minded printers willing to tackle the taboo on tumescence.

It's the second major hurdle for Filament, which has already been turned down by numerous UK distributors refusing to handle a women's magazine with a man on the cover. When set against the plethora of men's lifestyle and top-shelf magazines featuring scantily clad and open-legged women, the struggles faced by Filament highlight a deeply entrenched sexism: men can look at women but women cannot look at men.
Encouraged by the positive response from their readership, Filament opened a fundraising campaign to try and raise the extra cash they needed to switch to a more liberal printers. As of today, their target has been met: fantastic news for those of us who want to see more equality in pictorial erotica.

It may be more heterosexual and vanilla than my normal taste in porn, but I support this venture wholeheartedly; it embodies a lot of the principles which I'm following in my own porn production, but as a mainstream printed magazine Filament has the potential to meet a much wider audience. And I hear a rumour that the male models featured in Issue 2 are very spankable indeed.
The groundbreaking Filament Issue 2 comes out on 1 September and will soon be available for presales through our website. In the meantime, if you still haven't got our first issue, please support the tiny fledgling magazine that embraces the cutting-edge science that women have brains and eyes, and get yours here.

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Tags: Female gaze, Gender politics, in the news, other pictures


making a sound

Posted at 15:57 on 18 Aug 2009 by Pandora / Blake

Graham wrote recently about pride and stoicism:

Tears, wails, wriggling: These are the classic elements of spanking fantasies. Its all part of the wretched humiliating fun. No one writes a story about a girl who was spanked, and lay there quietly, the end. Cause its boring. I dont want to be boring!

Then again, Im not going to manufacture whimpers either, and Im not sure Im prepared to just be thrashed to the breaking point for the amusement of others.

Quite a few bloggers have been thinking recently about competitiveness, and this links back to my thoughts after playing with the famously-hardcore, and very quiet, Caroline Grey. Graham's post has led to an interesting discussion in which several spankees have admitted being very quiet when they first started playing - "terrified to make a noise that was not 100% authentically wrung from my deepest soul", as Zille says succinctly - which has made me wonder if it's a general pattern.

So interesting do I find this, I left a lengthy comment on Graham's blog:

Mostly, though, I'm vocally responsive to spanking the same way I am with sex. It's partly to increase my own enjoyment, partly to communicate with my partner (how can they tell what you like and what you don't if you don't respond?), and partly to enhance their enjoyment because of the whole feedback loop thing. When I'm pleasuring myself, I rarely make a sound. Sometimes a small moan will escape me at the final moment, but often I stay quiet. That doesn't mean quiet is my "real" response; it means it's my solitary response. Vocal responses are part of the communication and intimacy of sex, and how you ensure you get what you want. I started being vocally responsive during sex before I started being vocally responsive during spanking, but over the years I've got louder in both. If nothing else, screaming enhances my enjoyment - a true but inexplicable fact; I'm far more likely to come if I can let myself lose control and be as loud as I like.

I used to pride myself on my stoicism and endurance, and not do I often find private play harder than I expect these days, but it can be hard to stay quiet if I try. And some silence games can lead to me feeling terribly hard-done-by and resentful, which is clearly not the point. Is it merely a question of habit? Is my pure masochism, the straightforward delight in pain sensations, becoming more complex as I get older? Or do I just find being noisy more interesting, and there's no reason to be ashamed of that?

I do understand the anxiety on not wanting to artificially produce responses. It's fine for a film, but if you do that in private you're sort of missing the point - it would feel akin to faking an orgasm, unfair to you and your top. It's a concern of mine, as I've found myself being a bit more performative in private since I've started spanking modelling, more aware of my posture and how I'm expressing myself. It's hard to know if that's just increased self-awareness (I'm not acting, but I do tend to be aware of the impression my responses are giving) and actually a good thing, because I can be more consciously expressive with my body language and vocal responses, and better non-verbal communication in scene is good. Or whether it's a bad thing because that awareness stops me 'letting go' completely, and I shouldn't try to retain control over my responses, because that's not the point of submission.

Even when I'm performing, I'm still being me: if I wasn't expressing some part of my true self when I make films or play in public, I wouldn't get anything out of it. It's interesting trying to work out the limits of one's conscious actions, especially in the context of submission. As a 'door-knocker sub', I want to give accurate feedback during scene, I don't want to wholly be ruled by what my play partner wants to hear. But as a sub, with my Doms, whom I adore and trust absolutely, I don't want there to be any artifice between us, and I want to be able to let go and put myself into their hands completely.

When you get down to it, being the spankee in a spanking video rarely involves genuine submission. If your private submission starts to mirror your spankee performance, it's easy to feel like you're not really submitting. But our modes of expression are social and habitual; as we develop relationships with someone, we learn to speak the best language to communicate with them. Vocal responsiveness is useful to video because it's stimulating to the viewer, but it's useful in scene because it helps the sub communicate with their Dom.

As far as I'm concerned, being loud and being brave aren't mutually exclusive. While the challenge of staying quiet can be hot, the effort of will involved in being silent can also prevent me from relaxing properly into the scene - just as the fear that I'm being 'artificial' can prevent me from making as much noise as I might like! Which suggests that, like most things, it depends on mood, context, and the expectations of both partners. I've definitely got louder since I first started playing, and I like it that way. But it's hard to know whether this change is triggered by my experiences acting in spanking films, or whether its just the result of being more comfortable and confident during play.

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Tags: dominance and submission, kink, making a scene, meta-analysis

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