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When fantasy alters reality

Posted at 00:14 on 2 Nov 2011 by Pandora / Blake

I've just come back from visiting Tom's new crashpad for the first time since we started living apart. He's staying with one of my oldest friends while he looks for his next job.

After a couple of weeks apart we were both dying to play, but it wasn't easy. Some inconvenience related to his temporary living arrangements (my sprained ankle is still not healed up enough to deal well with climbing a loft ladder) triggered some difficult conversations. Maintaining a D/S dynamic when the dominant partner is out of work, ill or both is tough, people. He's in a bit of a low patch anyway - a perfectly rational reaction to jobhunting in this economy. Plus health issues, the fact I can't even visit him for the weekend without needing to bring work with me, the lack of control over his environment... there was a lot of frustration and emotion to deal with.

Spanking can be very therapeutic for a stressed out bottom, but a top doesn't have that luxury. Using play to vent his frustration wouldn't have been safe: we needed to talk it through before spanking could improve things.

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Tags: belt, dominance and submission, Fantasies, kink, links, otk spanking, spanking stories, Thomas Cameron

12 comments | Leave a comment

Submissive while feminist

Posted at 16:10 on 5 Nov 2011 by Pandora / Blake

I was very young when I first started practising kink. Young enough that I hadn't really started to understand the nuances of consent, autonomy and privilege, and I hadn't politically 'awakened' to the oppressive patterns that are propagated within our culture. I knew I wasn't 'normal', that I was attracted to men and women, had kinky fantasies and was spectacularly bad at monogamy - but beyond that I hadn't started thinking critically about gender, sexuality and relationships.

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Tags: dominance and submission, Gender politics, Politics

17 comments | Leave a comment

Male spanking showcase

Posted at 23:25 on 7 Nov 2011 by Pandora / Blake

I've been experiencing a slightly strange phenomenon lately, while working fulltime getting Dreams of Spanking ready for launch. I've got used to seeing pictures of both men and women being spanked on a regular basis. It's changed my perspective on most of the spanking sites and blogs I read. Suddenly, sites which only feature female spankees seem weirdly limited to me. It feels kind of unnatural and artificial to restrict appreciation of a shapely reddened bottom to only one sex.

Obviously, as a woman writing a blog about her personal experience of spanking, this site has always had a similarly skewed focus as well. And when I'm reading about a particular couple's adventures it doesn't seem as odd. I just wish that more of the sites aiming to give a broad look at spanking fantasies or spanking updates online included some scenarios in which boys get spanked too. To me, these days, it would feel much more normal.

Anyway, even though it's hard to find the range I'm looking for within individual blogs, I've been able to provide some balance to my general viewing experience by adding sites focussing exclusively on boys getting spanked to my feed reader. The segregation seems a bit weird, but at least the end result is a pleasing mixture.

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Tags: Audrey Knight, Bound Gods, Clare Spanks Men, Discipline for Boys, Female gaze, Gender politics, Male spanking models, other pictures, Performers and producers, Reluctant Young Men, Sites and studios, Spanking Central, Stefan Rhyzhkov, Sting Pictures

25 comments | Leave a comment

Love Our Lurkers VI

Posted at 17:47 on 10 Nov 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Happy Love Our Lurkers day! Once a year, spanking bloggers across the world unite in welcoming those who read our blogs, but don't tend to join in the conversation in the comments.

We know you're out there. We can tell from our hits that you're there, you're interested, you keep coming back. We also know that you vastly outnumber those people who leave comments and tell us a little about themselves. And that's okay. Commenting isn't compulsory, and it can be really hard to know what to say. Especially when you're reading a sex or spanking blog, with their often very intimate contents. Leaving a comment, sometimes, can feel intimidatingly personal as well. Even leaving a comment on a spanking blog can feel like standing up and publically telling the world what you find hot ... and for some people, what's private is best kept that way.

Well, we understand. Many of us started out as lurkers too - reading, fascinated, a bit envious of those who chatted so freely with writers we admired, but lacking the confidence to start typing and join in the conversation.

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Tags: Blogging, Love Our Lurkers day, making a scene

24 comments | Leave a comment

Three scenes

Posted at 23:47 on 11 Nov 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Life is good at the moment. Despite money worries, uncertainty about what the next year will hold, and working far too damn hard, I have what I need out of life. That is: a roof over my head for me and my cat, work that inspires me, and happiness in love. Put into perspective, the shoulder aches, minor wibbles and missed sleep doesn't really matter.

For so much of the last few years, poly hasn't been easy, and nor has kink. When there are so many other life upheavals going on it's weird - if good - to look at my situation and realise that actually, the one thing that seems relatively stable is my relationships. One of the reasons blogging is good for me is that it prevents me from taking weeks like this for granted, enjoying precious moments with each of my partners one after the other.

I.

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Tags: back whipping, breast slapping, cane, D, dominance and submission, featured photos, hand spanking, Jacq, kink, Photos, porn production, Thomas Cameron

4 comments | Leave a comment

Zille spanks Sasha Monet

Posted at 23:38 on 12 Nov 2011 by Pandora / Blake

I liked this preview video from DarkPlay.net, in which Zille Defeu spanks Sasha Monet. I expect fans of F/F spanking, vintage garters and spanking over slips and petticoats will like it too.

Sasha's got into some serious trouble at the office, and is referred to Zille to see what can be done to avoid nasty legal difficulties. Zille takes the situation well in hand!

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Tags: CyberDyke, otk spanking, spanking over slips, Videos, Zille Defeu

3 comments | Leave a comment

Switch marks

Posted at 19:23 on 15 Nov 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Here are some photos from years ago which I never got round to posting. They're from a scene I played with HH back in 2007.

I was the nervous niece bringing a letter home from school, knowing I was in for it. He was my uncle, furious that I'd disappointed him. I was sent out into the garden with a pair of shears with my dress tucked into my knickers, and told to return with some suitable switches. Nervewracking: trying to cut the knobbly bits off each one, anxious that they'll be too thick and heavy, or that he'll deem them not thick and heavy enough and I'll incur further punishment.

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Tags: featured photos, kink, Photos, school uniform, switch

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How to make me squeak

Posted at 00:39 on 17 Nov 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Ways to make me squeak:

1. Hit me with a wooden ruler. Preferably low, on the sit spot, when I'm not expecting it.

2. Put me at #37 in a prestigious list of 100 sex bloggers.

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Tags: Blogging, making a scene

8 comments | Leave a comment

Deep throat

Posted at 23:11 on 18 Nov 2011 by Pandora / Blake

A weekday morning. Winter-tired, D and I have both slept in, but between work, tiredness and my period we haven't had sex in a week, so we stay in bed a while longer. The sleep fug hangs over me as we caress each other, nagging me with a faint headache. I want to be here, I've missed this, but even his loving tongue doesn't stimulate me the way I want it to. Instead I turn my attention to him, hoping that his arousal will awaken mine, as it so often does.

If spanking is my biggest kink, the filter through which I most enjoy experiencing D/S, then fellatio is D's. Gentle, rough, slow, fast: he likes it all. He likes teasing me with his cock, and being teased; he likes rubbing the head of it over my lips while looking into my eyes, smearing it slowly over my face and cheeks. He likes it when he's still soft, and I can take his entire cock easily in my mouth, swirl my tongue around it. He likes it when he's hot and hard and only half of it will go in before nudging up against the back of my throat. He is at his most powerful when I'm going down on him, and his most vulnerable.

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Tags: cane, D, dominance and submission, kink, kinky merit badges

5 comments | Leave a comment

Nimue's World is live!

Posted at 20:47 on 21 Nov 2011 by Pandora / Blake

I woke up to a fantastic piece of news on Friday, which will bring delight to anyone who has similar taste in porn to me. Nimue's own kinky paysite, Nimue's World, is now live and open to members.

You may have seen Nimue getting spanked on Northern Spanking, English Spankers and Spanking Sarah, and her performance work also includes extreme BDSM and bondage, camming and getting naked in public. She brings all her interests together in Nimue's World, a groundbreaking website which not only bridges the genres of spanking, BDSM, bondage and queer sex, but is one of the very few UK porn sites singlehandedly produced and directed by a female spankee.

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Tags: BDSM, Body positivity, bondage, dominance and submission, Fairtrade porn, Female gaze, making a scene, Nimue Allen, Nimues World, other pictures, otk spanking, Performers and producers, Photos, Sites and studios

4 comments | Leave a comment

The accountant strikes back

Posted at 14:58 on 22 Nov 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Kaelah has written an in-depth shoot report about filming for my soon-to-launch site Dreams of Spanking earlier this year. She gives the behind-the-scenes scoop on our F/F scene 'The Taxman Cometh', in which she plays my long-suffering accountant who despairs of my poor organisation, and eventually takes me over the knee for a hairbrush spanking.

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Tags: Dreams of Spanking, featured photos, hairbrush, Kaelah, otk spanking, Photos, porn production, Videos

3 comments | Leave a comment

The Girl Next Door

Posted at 20:36 on 23 Nov 2011 by Pandora / Blake

I love the previews from the new Lupus Spanking film, 'The Girl Next Door'. The trailer shows that it includes the excellent cinematography, richly developed settings, intricate plots, edgy punishments and surreal humour for which Lupus are renowned.

The scene that most caught my eye is the one in the shop, where a cane being considered for purchased is tested on a hapless daughter right there and then - with the shopkeeper looking on, and even assisting as the girl starts to struggle too wildly. I love these images not only for the deliciously arbitrary, unfair, publically humiliating scenario, but also for the lavish costumes and attention to detail.

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Tags: cane, Fantasies, Lupus Spanking, other pictures, Videos

4 comments | Leave a comment

Radical porn

Posted at 18:04 on 30 Nov 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Jimmy Holloway and Adele Haze at Dreams of SpankingI've just published a two part article on the Dreams of Spanking blog about making radical porn.

In part 1 I ask: is gender segregation in porn as intolerant as race segregation would be, and is it okay to discriminate on gender lines because it's "not your kink"? To what extent can we hold individual producers responsible for being complicit in segregation and inequality in porn? How much social responsibility do porn producers have, anyway? I also question the tendency to defer to "market forces" as an excuse for maintaining an unfair status quo.

In part 2 I look at the duty website owners have to cater to the taste of their members, and the extent to which all businesses choose their audience. I also examine the tension between quality/originality and marketability/profitability and the assessment and balancing of risks which is inherent in all creative entrepreneurship, and the role economic and social privilege plays in this. Finally, I examine my own privilege in an unfair society - and why I've made the choices I have.

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Tags: Adele Haze, Body positivity, Dreams of Spanking, Fairtrade porn, Female gaze, Gender politics, Jimmy Holloway, other pictures, Politics

2 comments | Leave a comment

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