Bathbrush, meet thighs

Posted at 23:13 on 10 Mar 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Tags: bath brush, D, dominance and submission, Photos, Real life punishment

My discipline deal with D (how's that for an alliterative beginning?) has been revealing so far. To my surprise, I've pretty much kept within my drinking limits, apart from one week which included two birthday parties and two other boozy social occasions.¹ And my gym schedule has been easy to maintain, at least when I'm at home and not gallivanting around the country. But the daily physio exercises I'm meant to do to help my long-term back pain - day after day, despite my best efforts, I'm failing to find the time.

I tried doing them last thing before bed; but then by the time I've finished for the day, I'm flattened and just need my sleep. We haven't tried first thing in the morning yet as my morning routine is already longer than it should be, and I don't want half the day to disappear before I get down to work. I tried fitting them in as and when, but my schedule is already squeezed to bursting and I seem to never have a space of time when there isn't something urgent needing doing. D and I sat down and talked about it and agreed that a mid-afternoon break might work, since an excuse to get up from my desk and move around will help my back in any case. I have an alarm set for 15:00, but it always seems to go off when I'm in the middle of something super-important. My new idea is to set the snooze on it to half an hour, rather than five minutes, so chances are I'll have finished whatever I was busy with by the time it goes off again.

I'm encouraged by my success in the other areas, and determined to break the back of this one (as it were). In the meantime, however, my record is fairly shoddy. The last time D and I settled the account, I was due 48 whacks with the bathbrush for missed physio exercises; a bonus 6 for missing a number of days in a row; plus 12 for going a week without a booze-free day. Hardly a glowing report. We talked about ways I could try and do better, but I did feel genuinely disappointed with myself, and D, while gentle, was not exactly impressed.

So the tone was very different from our last punishment session. He asked me to undress completely, and as I lay on the bed I knew this wasn't going to be pleasant. D's manner was calm, but a little cold. The strokes for missed back exercises were so numerous that he didn't give them to me in sets of six, this time; just one extended application that did not care how much I wriggled or cried.

I did cry, before we were halfway through. The tears squeezed themselves out onto the pillow and it felt good to surrender to the pain, to our collective disappointment, the shared sense that this punishment was thoroughly deserved. The last six, bonus strokes for missing my back exercises too many days in a row, were hard, and if I hadn't cried I might have screamed.

But the worst came last: twelve hard whacks with the brush on my thighs. He delivered them with a clinical, even pace, starting at the top of one thigh and working down it for six, then back up the next. The pain was incredible. I gripped the rail at the head of the bed for dear life, willed my legs to stay still and not kick, and sobbed.

I felt better afterwards, though. Admittedly rather sorry for myself, but less burdened by the knowledge of my failure.




I'm sorry to say, however, that after all that the intervening weeks have been even busier, and my good intentions have continued to fail. I'm still not giving up - I want my health to improve, and I'm determined to find a way of making this system work for me. But the next accounting is likely to be another painful one.

1. I could perhaps blame Emma-Jane for the jugs of mojitos, but that would go against the spirit of spankee solidarity.²
2. Which is, of course, Bacardi.

Comments

I really like this kind of discipline relationship. It's attractive on a number of levels.

Of course it's all Emma Jane's fault!

Apart from that, all I have to say is: ow, ow, OW!

I'm finding it very interesting to read your series of posts about how this punishment dynamic is working for you. I've always struggled with this sort of punishment, but reading your descriptions it makes me think..... could I thrive under this sort of agreement, or would I just end up resenting the agreement and the punishment that I would inevitably recieve. But then I read your last sentance and something has kinda clicked in my head "next accounting is likely to be another painful one". It's not about being punished for your failings.... it's about being made accountable for your actions, which is something I believe very strongly in. Maybe this sort of dynamic would work for me, maybe not..... but thank you for sharing how it works for you, and giving me something to think about!

Brett - It's always been the sort of thing I've found hot, but it's hard to imagine a dynamic which wasn't "the top gets to decide when I've earned a punishment", which doesn't appeal to me at all. Tom and I came close a few years ago, but it's lovely to put the idea into practice as a more mature adult.

Indy - Of course it's EJ's fault! Although the thigh whacks weren't booze related, so I have only myself to blame for those :(

Nimue - Thanks for your comment hon, really glad to hear that you're finding the topic interesting. The semantics in this sort of thing are REALLY important to me. I'm not sure how "submissive" I'm being in this instance, but it's a validating, helpful and positive thing, so I'm not sure that matters!

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