Adventures in topping

Posted at 01:54 on 26 Apr 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Tags: Fetish clubbing, Jacq, kink, otk spanking, school uniform, switching

Last week I experienced my first over-the-knee spanking from the other side.

It happened like this. My friend Jacq, whose place I was stopping at during my trip to London, texted me asking if I wanted to accompany her to the local fetish night. Her tone was embarrassed. It wasn't a real fetish night, she hastened to assure me; it was, in fact, full of posey spooky kids and a bit crap, but she used to go to it a lot and her friends were begging her to come out with them. She wouldn't expect to actually play, since no-one else ever did, but it would be much more fun if I was there.

Forgive my filthy bathroom mirror; I went and cleaned it as soon as I saw this photo.I was up for it, but I was already on the hoof and I only had what I carried in terms of outfits. The summery day dresses for the 50s style domestic spanking shoot on my first day in London wouldn't do, and everything else I had with me was similarly casual. The only thing that might do was my new Japanese-style school uniform, which I was taking to D's for a rape scene we'd been planning.

Jacq and I became lovers over a year ago, but we've never managed to quite sustain a sexual energy to match our mutual attraction, because she, like me, is very submissive. Neither of us is an experienced switch, but both of us are kinky enough that vanilla girlsex alone doesn't quite keep our interest. We agreed that in general, we both enjoy things much more with a top in the bed. I'd sort of hoped that we'd slip into a regular ménage with one of my boyfriends, but for one reason or another it's been harder to engineer than I'd hoped, and in the meantime I like spending time with Jacq, and want to find a sexual dynamic that works between the two of us.

Originally I'd wondered if we might find our inept, giggling way towards learning to switch together, but after a couple of almosts it became clear she didn't quite have the confidence yet. I started to come to terms with the idea that one of us was going to have to step up and take control, and that it was probably going to be me. But although I've dished out some straightforward CP-scene canings and floggings in the past - and discovered that I take a particular glee in caning an enthusiastic recipient - I haven't ever attempted erotic dominance in the bedroom. Approaching the idea as a newbie, I realised it was a whole different ballgame.

Jacq is very hot, I enjoy pleasuring her and I want to give her the best time I can. If that means topping, then I'm willing to learn. But she's submissive - she doesn't want to feel like I'm pandering to her; she wants to be able to submit to someone's sincere desire to dominate her.

As I've gradually gained some experience in the realm of whipping and caning the occasional willing bottom, enjoying putting everything I've learned from the receiving end into practice - loving the sadistic thrill of causing someone pain, but only when I'm safe in the knowledge that they want it - I've realised that I actually really like administering CP. It is, after all, my primary kink, and I can take pleasure not only in practising the skill of topping, but in giving someone the sort of experience I enjoy so much.

So far, so good. But here's where my head got in a tangle. Spanking isn't Jacq's primary kink. She likes power games, control, mindfuckery, rough sex. She'll submit to CP, but the main interest for her is the D/s, not the impact play itself.

In this complex, multi-directional feedback loop, where does the balance lie? My primary desire in topping is to give Jacq a good time; but the methods I'm most comfortable with aren't really what she wants. If we're both trying to please the other, whose desire wins out, and how do I avoid falling into the trap of purely "service topping" and thereby losing her interest?

I told her about all this as we were getting dressed to go out. She reassured me that while CP isn't her primary kink, it's still a kink, and if I wanted to do it to her that was enough for her. And I realised that actually, it's not just that I want to top her any old how, and spanking is simply my comfort zone. I can quite confidently say that on a purely selfish level I would love to give Jacq's shapely bottom a whipping. I'm not going to do it unless she wants me to, but the desire is definitely there.

As it happened, Jacq's outfit for the night consisted of an dommey black corset that gave her an hourglass figure and high black boots. With me in my cutesy Sailor Moon costume I decided that I had to top that night, if only to be contrary and defy everyone's expectations. Hey, with Gogo Yubari as a precedent I reckon the "Evil Japanese Schoolgirl with a Whip" persona has mileage.

Gogo Yubari: the ultimate evil Japanese schoolgirlThe local fetish night was as dire as Jacq had warned. Glitzy Elvis lights around the upright cross - a pentagram in chains on the St Andrews cross - no-one using any of the furniture except to pose for their friend's cameras, a truly dreadful stage show and an awful lot of giggling. The DIY costumes weren't bad, but for most people dressing up seemed to be the sole point of the evening. I did get a bit annoyed with drunk people prancing about and flicking at their mates with cheap plastic "whips". A cute girl at the bar incited Jacq to bend over, but the pathetic tap that landed over her short skirt made me lose patience. Or perhaps it was the second vodka I'd just downed. "Oh, that's not how you do it!" I said in exasperation, and lifted Jacq's skirt (she stayed invitingly still) to give her a proper, fleshy smack. She gave a gratifying yelp, and I was too distracted by how thrilling it was to notice how my audience reacted.

"Ow," she pouted shortly afterwards, "that's all tingly now! You'll have to balance it up on the other side." I was more than happy to oblige.

Those two spanks were, as far as I know, the only ones to take place all evening (apart from one other which also involved me, as I invited a friend who was wondering if he'd be any good at it to show me what he had. He had quite a firm palm, as it happens), but they certainly whetted my appetite. The problem was that by the time I managed to tear her away from her friends, I'd had several drinks and was beginning to feel very sleepy. I started to feel anxious that by the time we got back to hers I'd have lost my nerve, my energy or both. "I do very much want to give you a spanking," I murmured to her on the bus home, "but I'm feeling quite tired. I might need you to co-operate."

She smiles at me. "I think I can manage that."

Home, and I'm suddenly feeling enormous admiration for everyone who's ever topped me. How on earth do I start? This is terrifying! I think I'm more nervous now than I was before my first ever spanking as a bottom. We undress and I join her on the bed for a cuddle, ending up on top of her as we kiss. I know she likes to be forced but I'm not up to that right now. I need explicit reassurance. So I ask. "Would you still like me to spank you?"

The look on her face is utterly endearing as she replies, "Yes please."

I want to spank her over my knee, I've decided; I want to experience that familiar intimacy from the other side. I lean against the headboard and help her lie across my lap. Even though I've explicitly asked for it, her obedience is gratifying and adorable. I'm honoured by her trust in me - not just that I won't hurt her too much, but her trust that I'll keep my nerve, that I'll go through with it. I'm acutely conscious of the myriad ways in which both of us are vulnerable, and thank every top I've ever had for taking that leap.

So: stroking and rubbing that delicious bottom, running my hands along her back and her legs. I know she's not had much experience as a spankee, so I start out lightly, her bottom bouncing under my hand. Delivering the smacks is easier than I'd feared, and before long I try a couple of hard ones, and am rewarded with some thrilling little yelps. The whole experience is incredibly exciting. Part of me wants to spank her as hard, as fast and as long as I can, but I restrain myself to the sort of pace I'd enjoy, keeping a careful eye on her responses. I suspect I don't go anywhere near her pain threshold, but I want to warm her up, to create a warm erotic glow rather than anything frightening. Her bottom turns pink very fast, and that's exciting too.

When, after a while, I can't resist the urge to give her some harder ones, I tell her there will be twelve of them. I enjoy surprising her with which cheek each spank lands on, and it's lovely making her squeak. Then I stop, tell her she's a good girl, and proceed to reward her thoroughly for letting me be so mean to her.

It was a tremendous rush, and I learned that my CP kink is just as strong when I'm not on the receiving end. I think half the adrenaline high, though, was simply from the thrill of having stepped off the edge, and feeling like I got away with it. I never really knew how much nerve topping took until I tried it, and I have a renewed appreciation for the gumption of my own dominant partners. But the biggest surprise was how exposed it makes you; how vulnerable.

No wonder this thing we do is so intimate; that leap of trust which is so familiar to me as a submissive really does go both ways.

Comments

[...] the implement goes beyond power orientation. Spanking someone I can take or leave, on the whole (certain people excepted). I’ve done it on camera and for the most part, it hurts my hand and makes me feel foolish. [...]

I eagerly volunteer to let you spank me as hard, as fast and as long as you can! [gets dreamy-eyed]

Come over here and say that :)

I suspect my sadistic streak runs deeper than I've had the chance to explore yet - but it's very definitely embedded in consent. I'd love the chance to push the boat out with someone who I knew liked hard play, sometime, and see how far I could take them. All the better if they could return the favour on another occasion!

Alright -- you're on!

And it can be a shoot or personal playtime -- your choice, my dear!

"Embrace the power of 'and'"? I quite like the idea of a spank-off though - it sounds kind of like a win-win situation :)

I solemnly swear that it gets easier the more you do it, so go forth and spank lovely people as much as you can. It's for your own good.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

Thanks for the great comment, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It was a pretty hot experience, and has whetted my appetite sufficiently that I may well end up topping for one scene in my next shoot for my new site. I'm still more confident with the cane than with my hand. I'm not sure I can spank hard enough to dominate someone with me hand, and I haven't had much practice yet at telling the difference between "ow, that's good but I could take more" and "ow, slow down".

My lover Penny has sometimes asked me to give her feedback on a scale of 1-5 so she can assess pain levels. It's a system I might well make use of until I find my feet.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

:)

I solemnly swear that it gets easier the more you do it, so go forth and spank lovely people as much as you can. It's for your own good.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

Thanks for the great comment, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It was a pretty hot experience, and has whetted my appetite sufficiently that I may well end up topping for one scene in my next shoot for my new site. I'm still more confident with the cane than with my hand. I'm not sure I can spank hard enough to dominate someone with me hand, and I haven't had much practice yet at telling the difference between "ow, that's good but I could take more" and "ow, slow down".

My lover Penny has sometimes asked me to give her feedback on a scale of 1-5 so she can assess pain levels. It's a system I might well make use of until I find my feet.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

The thing is that I know from experience the most annoying thing I can do, as a top, is hesitate. But taking that plunge is pretty difficult. I take it it gets easier with practice? :)

I solemnly swear that it gets easier the more you do it, so go forth and spank lovely people as much as you can. It's for your own good.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

Thanks for the great comment, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It was a pretty hot experience, and has whetted my appetite sufficiently that I may well end up topping for one scene in my next shoot for my new site. I'm still more confident with the cane than with my hand. I'm not sure I can spank hard enough to dominate someone with me hand, and I haven't had much practice yet at telling the difference between "ow, that's good but I could take more" and "ow, slow down".

My lover Penny has sometimes asked me to give her feedback on a scale of 1-5 so she can assess pain levels. It's a system I might well make use of until I find my feet.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

SUCH a trip, OMG. I never really understood where the thrill of topping came from - I mean you aren't experiencing the sensations, what do you get out of it? But the rush is totally visceral and intense. Such a high being trusted that much, so much fun testing your skills and getting reactions :)

"Embrace the power of 'and'"? I quite like the idea of a spank-off though - it sounds kind of like a win-win situation :)

I solemnly swear that it gets easier the more you do it, so go forth and spank lovely people as much as you can. It's for your own good.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

Thanks for the great comment, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It was a pretty hot experience, and has whetted my appetite sufficiently that I may well end up topping for one scene in my next shoot for my new site. I'm still more confident with the cane than with my hand. I'm not sure I can spank hard enough to dominate someone with me hand, and I haven't had much practice yet at telling the difference between "ow, that's good but I could take more" and "ow, slow down".

My lover Penny has sometimes asked me to give her feedback on a scale of 1-5 so she can assess pain levels. It's a system I might well make use of until I find my feet.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

:)

I solemnly swear that it gets easier the more you do it, so go forth and spank lovely people as much as you can. It's for your own good.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

Thanks for the great comment, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It was a pretty hot experience, and has whetted my appetite sufficiently that I may well end up topping for one scene in my next shoot for my new site. I'm still more confident with the cane than with my hand. I'm not sure I can spank hard enough to dominate someone with me hand, and I haven't had much practice yet at telling the difference between "ow, that's good but I could take more" and "ow, slow down".

My lover Penny has sometimes asked me to give her feedback on a scale of 1-5 so she can assess pain levels. It's a system I might well make use of until I find my feet.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

The thing is that I know from experience the most annoying thing I can do, as a top, is hesitate. But taking that plunge is pretty difficult. I take it it gets easier with practice? :)

I solemnly swear that it gets easier the more you do it, so go forth and spank lovely people as much as you can. It's for your own good.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

Thanks for the great comment, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It was a pretty hot experience, and has whetted my appetite sufficiently that I may well end up topping for one scene in my next shoot for my new site. I'm still more confident with the cane than with my hand. I'm not sure I can spank hard enough to dominate someone with me hand, and I haven't had much practice yet at telling the difference between "ow, that's good but I could take more" and "ow, slow down".

My lover Penny has sometimes asked me to give her feedback on a scale of 1-5 so she can assess pain levels. It's a system I might well make use of until I find my feet.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

Nice story and so true. Congratulations to your first otk spanking as top. I know it feels awesome.

Alright -- you're on!

And it can be a shoot or personal playtime -- your choice, my dear!

"Embrace the power of 'and'"? I quite like the idea of a spank-off though - it sounds kind of like a win-win situation :)

I solemnly swear that it gets easier the more you do it, so go forth and spank lovely people as much as you can. It's for your own good.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

Thanks for the great comment, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It was a pretty hot experience, and has whetted my appetite sufficiently that I may well end up topping for one scene in my next shoot for my new site. I'm still more confident with the cane than with my hand. I'm not sure I can spank hard enough to dominate someone with me hand, and I haven't had much practice yet at telling the difference between "ow, that's good but I could take more" and "ow, slow down".

My lover Penny has sometimes asked me to give her feedback on a scale of 1-5 so she can assess pain levels. It's a system I might well make use of until I find my feet.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

:)

I solemnly swear that it gets easier the more you do it, so go forth and spank lovely people as much as you can. It's for your own good.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

Thanks for the great comment, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It was a pretty hot experience, and has whetted my appetite sufficiently that I may well end up topping for one scene in my next shoot for my new site. I'm still more confident with the cane than with my hand. I'm not sure I can spank hard enough to dominate someone with me hand, and I haven't had much practice yet at telling the difference between "ow, that's good but I could take more" and "ow, slow down".

My lover Penny has sometimes asked me to give her feedback on a scale of 1-5 so she can assess pain levels. It's a system I might well make use of until I find my feet.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

The thing is that I know from experience the most annoying thing I can do, as a top, is hesitate. But taking that plunge is pretty difficult. I take it it gets easier with practice? :)

I solemnly swear that it gets easier the more you do it, so go forth and spank lovely people as much as you can. It's for your own good.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

Thanks for the great comment, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It was a pretty hot experience, and has whetted my appetite sufficiently that I may well end up topping for one scene in my next shoot for my new site. I'm still more confident with the cane than with my hand. I'm not sure I can spank hard enough to dominate someone with me hand, and I haven't had much practice yet at telling the difference between "ow, that's good but I could take more" and "ow, slow down".

My lover Penny has sometimes asked me to give her feedback on a scale of 1-5 so she can assess pain levels. It's a system I might well make use of until I find my feet.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

SUCH a trip, OMG. I never really understood where the thrill of topping came from - I mean you aren't experiencing the sensations, what do you get out of it? But the rush is totally visceral and intense. Such a high being trusted that much, so much fun testing your skills and getting reactions :)

"Embrace the power of 'and'"? I quite like the idea of a spank-off though - it sounds kind of like a win-win situation :)

I solemnly swear that it gets easier the more you do it, so go forth and spank lovely people as much as you can. It's for your own good.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

Thanks for the great comment, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It was a pretty hot experience, and has whetted my appetite sufficiently that I may well end up topping for one scene in my next shoot for my new site. I'm still more confident with the cane than with my hand. I'm not sure I can spank hard enough to dominate someone with me hand, and I haven't had much practice yet at telling the difference between "ow, that's good but I could take more" and "ow, slow down".

My lover Penny has sometimes asked me to give her feedback on a scale of 1-5 so she can assess pain levels. It's a system I might well make use of until I find my feet.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

:)

I solemnly swear that it gets easier the more you do it, so go forth and spank lovely people as much as you can. It's for your own good.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

Thanks for the great comment, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It was a pretty hot experience, and has whetted my appetite sufficiently that I may well end up topping for one scene in my next shoot for my new site. I'm still more confident with the cane than with my hand. I'm not sure I can spank hard enough to dominate someone with me hand, and I haven't had much practice yet at telling the difference between "ow, that's good but I could take more" and "ow, slow down".

My lover Penny has sometimes asked me to give her feedback on a scale of 1-5 so she can assess pain levels. It's a system I might well make use of until I find my feet.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

The thing is that I know from experience the most annoying thing I can do, as a top, is hesitate. But taking that plunge is pretty difficult. I take it it gets easier with practice? :)

I solemnly swear that it gets easier the more you do it, so go forth and spank lovely people as much as you can. It's for your own good.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

Thanks for the great comment, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It was a pretty hot experience, and has whetted my appetite sufficiently that I may well end up topping for one scene in my next shoot for my new site. I'm still more confident with the cane than with my hand. I'm not sure I can spank hard enough to dominate someone with me hand, and I haven't had much practice yet at telling the difference between "ow, that's good but I could take more" and "ow, slow down".

My lover Penny has sometimes asked me to give her feedback on a scale of 1-5 so she can assess pain levels. It's a system I might well make use of until I find my feet.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

Oooh. That sounds fun! I remember a similar sense of vulnerability the first time I spanked a lovely girl, and if she hadn't been enthusiastically encouraging me, I don't think I'd have had the nerve to summon or hold on to any sort of authority.

Topping is much more than the act of smacking, that's for sure.

"Embrace the power of 'and'"? I quite like the idea of a spank-off though - it sounds kind of like a win-win situation :)

I solemnly swear that it gets easier the more you do it, so go forth and spank lovely people as much as you can. It's for your own good.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

Thanks for the great comment, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It was a pretty hot experience, and has whetted my appetite sufficiently that I may well end up topping for one scene in my next shoot for my new site. I'm still more confident with the cane than with my hand. I'm not sure I can spank hard enough to dominate someone with me hand, and I haven't had much practice yet at telling the difference between "ow, that's good but I could take more" and "ow, slow down".

My lover Penny has sometimes asked me to give her feedback on a scale of 1-5 so she can assess pain levels. It's a system I might well make use of until I find my feet.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

:)

I solemnly swear that it gets easier the more you do it, so go forth and spank lovely people as much as you can. It's for your own good.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

Thanks for the great comment, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It was a pretty hot experience, and has whetted my appetite sufficiently that I may well end up topping for one scene in my next shoot for my new site. I'm still more confident with the cane than with my hand. I'm not sure I can spank hard enough to dominate someone with me hand, and I haven't had much practice yet at telling the difference between "ow, that's good but I could take more" and "ow, slow down".

My lover Penny has sometimes asked me to give her feedback on a scale of 1-5 so she can assess pain levels. It's a system I might well make use of until I find my feet.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

The thing is that I know from experience the most annoying thing I can do, as a top, is hesitate. But taking that plunge is pretty difficult. I take it it gets easier with practice? :)

I solemnly swear that it gets easier the more you do it, so go forth and spank lovely people as much as you can. It's for your own good.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

Thanks for the great comment, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It was a pretty hot experience, and has whetted my appetite sufficiently that I may well end up topping for one scene in my next shoot for my new site. I'm still more confident with the cane than with my hand. I'm not sure I can spank hard enough to dominate someone with me hand, and I haven't had much practice yet at telling the difference between "ow, that's good but I could take more" and "ow, slow down".

My lover Penny has sometimes asked me to give her feedback on a scale of 1-5 so she can assess pain levels. It's a system I might well make use of until I find my feet.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

Good heavens, this story was so hot to read. I love the sensual, consensual style of spankings.

I know it's a true account, which makes it even hotter.

I solemnly swear that it gets easier the more you do it, so go forth and spank lovely people as much as you can. It's for your own good.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

Thanks for the great comment, I'm really glad you enjoyed it. It was a pretty hot experience, and has whetted my appetite sufficiently that I may well end up topping for one scene in my next shoot for my new site. I'm still more confident with the cane than with my hand. I'm not sure I can spank hard enough to dominate someone with me hand, and I haven't had much practice yet at telling the difference between "ow, that's good but I could take more" and "ow, slow down".

My lover Penny has sometimes asked me to give her feedback on a scale of 1-5 so she can assess pain levels. It's a system I might well make use of until I find my feet.

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

It's funny that you made your first OTK topping experience only such a short time after I had the wonderful pleasure to make my first OTK topping experience with you on the receiving end! :-) I can absolutely relate to that feeling of being honoured by the trust one is given by the spankee. I assume that making this experience in front of a camera might be even easier than making it in private play, though. Because you automatically have the consensual situation you mentioned and you don't have the pressure to take control completely. But I think both situations can be quite scary as well as very rewarding... :-)

Encouraging her, are you? Maybe she should spank you! :-)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I'm still so honoured to have been your first OTK topping experience! :)

In one sense I think you're right - performing for a camera is easier to some extent than in private play. But actually I was far happier just being able to concentrate on the spanking and not have to worry about producing toppy dialogue or staying in character. That said, I might end up topping Caroline Grey in a F/f prefect blackmail scene on my shoot with her. I think the thing that unnerves me about topping on camera is projecting authority. If I'm playing a sixth-form bitch the same age as her victim, I don't have to, which makes it easier. I'm not ready to play an authority figure yet - I don't think I could be taken seriously!

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

I can't image submissive Pandora spanks a girl....
All the times I watched Pandora all the times I watched her round exposed bottom, very difficult to fantasies her sit down.....
I think it is better she put on the knees and bottom up (nude...)

I suspect that dynamic works better the other way round ;)

Dude, you don't have to fantasise about it for me to have fun doing it! :)

[...] like to be known here as Jacqueline – and yes, she’s the same girl who recently inspired me to top a lover for the first time. This is the first half of that [...]

Delurking here to say congrats on the new experience!

Oh, and also to add, that if you're willing to share the details of your school girl rape scene, I'm sure it will be VERY hot!

Thanks! I'm not sure if I'll get round to writing about that one, but hot it sure was. It was my first anal in a couple of years - I was desperate to do it, but knew it was going to be painful, so couching it in a rape scene made sense to both of us. There was lots of screaming and crying, it was very cathartic :)

[...] full on, not wanting to intrude on the other’s territory. Besides, there had been that recent comment conversation wherein Zille invited (nay, begged!) me to spank her as hard, as fast and as long as I could. [...]

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