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Hedonism

Posted at 17:59 on 5 Jul 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Tom and I are spending a few days up north with Zille Defeu and her husband Duncan, enjoying some time to relax and get up to various pleasurable pursuits.

It's lovely to see Zille with a beautific smile on her face, cheeks flushed, totally blissed out. Right now she's so relaxed that if you ask her a question, and she'll just smile and say "hmmm?" without really hearing you. She's purring more loudly than the cat who got the cream.

I have to admit that the last hour has contained more its usual share of decadent delights. We're lucky there aren't any neighbours near enough to hear all the moans and sighs that have filled the house.

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Tags: funny, kink, Zille Defeu

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Shooting with Sarah Gregory

Posted at 23:05 on 7 Jul 2011 by Pandora / Blake

I recently had the pleasure of playing host to Sarah Gregory and her real-life daddy Paul 'Tubaman' Rogers on their UK tour. It was great to have the opportunity to meet them, and working together was lots of fun.

I'd originally hoped for a shoot trade, but Sarah's schedule was insane (all power to that lady - her energy puts even me to shame!) and there wasn't time to squeeze in a second day. So it looks like I'll need to make the trip to visit her if I want to include her in my own productions - which I might well do, as she was great fun to work with. In the meantime, expect to see me on Sarah Gregory Spanking sometime, alongside all the UK stars she shot with on her whirlwind tour - I'm particularly looking to see what she got up to with Leia Ann Woods and Amelia Jane Rutherford!

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Tags: Fantasies, featured photos, Paul Rogers, Performers and producers, Photos, Sarah Gregory, Sarah Gregory Spanking, school uniform, shoot writeups, Sites and studios, Spanking 101, wooden paddle

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The power of a collar

Posted at 21:13 on 10 Jul 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Overall, I am quite content with there being more of me these days. Birthday money from my parents has allowed me to update my wardrobe with some fetching and comfortable summer clothes (including a new black pair of short shorts which do wonders for my confidence) and my lovers certainly don't seem to mind - if anything, quite the opposite - which is really all that matters. However, I have my moments.

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Tags: Body positivity, collar, D, dominance and submission, kink, meta-analysis

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The evolution of punishment: II

Posted at 22:50 on 12 Jul 2011 by Pandora / Blake

A week yesterday, D and I rearranged our domestic discipline deal - in which he helps me keep track of my health goals - to include Tom.

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Tags: bath brush, D, dominance and submission, kink, other pictures, Real life punishment, Thomas Cameron

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Caning, energy and romance

Posted at 21:36 on 16 Jul 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Tom and I recently enjoyed a much-needed short break with kinky friends Zille and Duncan in their secret northern hideaway. We were only there for three full days, nowhere near enough time to do half the things we would have wanted. But amid all the hillwalking, visits, daytrips and usual holidayish things, we did find time for one evening of deviance.

Neither Tom nor I are minded to play with people we don't share some connection with. The first time we met Zille and Duncan, we sensed the potential for more; but that Wednesday in particular had been one of those perfect days. Since hiking up onto the Fells that afternoon, sharing that exhilarated, almost spiritual appreciation for the beautiful landscape around us, talking all the way up and all the way down, it was as if the game had been raised. I don't know about you, but few things put me into the mood for erotic adventures more than energetic outings in the glorious outdoors.

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Tags: dominance and submission, featured photos, kink, Photos, Thomas Cameron, Zille Defeu

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Weekend hyperkinks #2

Posted at 23:51 on 17 Jul 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Welcome to this week's only-slightly-late edition of weekend hyperkinks, in which I give you the best kink, porn and politics links that cropped up on blogs and twitter this week. There's been a lot of good stuff lately, so I'm going to divide it up.

Theres a reason why sensual is in the word consensual

Kink

  • This one is just as much about politics, but it's important, so I'm going to put it first. Kitty Stryker has done some excellent blogging this week on the ways in which the BDSM scene is inclined to turn a blind eye to incidences of abuse and sexual assault. Start with her article I never called it rape: addressing abuse in BDSM communities, then read Saturday's follow-up, I wish I could safeword rape culture. "Every time we DON'T hold people accountable, and every time someone says my article is proof that I obviously was an attention whore who was turned on by being forced to do things to men I didn't want to do, or that its my own fault for not knowing better, and that this sort of writing is a disservice to the kink community, we are proving the radfems, the government and the police right."
  • Paul at North Gare has a thought-provoking analysis on the consequences of male spankers from the pre-internet generation (a category in which he includes himself) joining the kinky community - and coming to terms with their own sexuality - late in life, in Men of an uncertain age. "Crucially, not only were idiosyncratic BDSM desires not explored and understood, but the basic social grammar of relationship management wasnt learned by direct experience. [...] Being male and middle-aged was/is no particular disadvantage, since father figures are highly sought after ironically for the experience that many such men conspicuously lack."
  • MayMay's post Young people into BDSM are not exceptional was published in 2008, but the comment thread has recently been kick-started by a post from a 16-year-old who feels "wrong and weird" for having kinky fantasies. People immediately wrote affirming and helpful replies, including some useful resources for young people interested in BDSM. The discussion is worth reading.
  • I really enjoyed this article by Rachel Kramer Bussel: Penis Gagging, BDSM, and Rape Fantasy: The Truth About Kinky Sexting. "The point of fantasies is that they come from somewhere that isnt always logical or rational. Some people might be inclined to investigate where their fantasies come from, what they 'mean,' but I tend to think of them like art, where there are multiple interpretations, where the point is to make us feel something stemming from somewhere beyond our brain."
  • Not Just Bitchy eloquently argues against the ubiquitous uniform and attitude expected of dominant women in the industry and community: "This image of female domination actively turns women away from the idea of kink because so very few women can actually relate to it."
  • Finally, I've read dozens of blogposts over the years on masochism, submission and pain, but I think this one has just become the comprehensive primer. One Sub's Mission identifies three types of pain: bad pain, good pain (oh god yes) and good pain (oh god no), and as a summary it's spot on. I particularly enjoyed this quote: "He is not simply ignoring my tears and my pain - he is drinking them in. They make his cock hard."

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Tags: Gender politics, hyperkinks, Kink activism, meta-analysis, Sex worker rights

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How to go swimming when you're marked

Posted at 19:25 on 20 Jul 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Tom took over responsibility for keeping track of my exercise routine the same week we went on holiday with Zille and Duncan. I didn't realise the potential clash until I was waiting for the bus on my way to the pool that Friday, and suddenly remembered that my arse and thighs were black and blue.

Shit! I couldn't believe this hadn't come up before, but I guess I don't mark easily these days, and the times I have must have been weeks I didn't manage to go swimming. I knew from catching sight of myself in the mirror that morning that underwear didn't cover these bruises, and neither would my swimming costume.

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Tags: corrupting the innocent, kink, learning curves, other pictures, Photos

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A good cry

Posted at 19:01 on 25 Jul 2011 by Pandora / Blake

I've been working a lot on my site the last couple of weeks, and it's been a stressful time. Not preparing content; preparing content is an energising, happy-making experience. Instead I've been wrangling with the realities of finance, logistics, web development; contingency trees collapsing my timescales into unrealistically short deadlines. D, who is handling the site back-end for me, is only available to work on the project until mid September. I can't apply for a CCbill account - which we need before we can get to grips with the billing integration - until my site is ready to launch. Ergo, my site needs to be ready to launch by September. Never mind the complexities of finding the money to pay his mortgage while I'm taking him away from other paying work.

The feeling of urgency when I think about this project has been increasing by the month. Every time I contemplate how much work there is still to do it feels like a hand is squeezing my heart. Not panic: merely a sense of overwhelming certainty that this is what I need to be working on, not anyone else's website, not any client projects, this, now. My breath catches and my pulse quickens as every cell in my body urges me to drop everything and work on this, now, go go go. I have been patiently squeezing work on it into my evenings and weekends for too long. I know with every part of me that right now, this is where my time and energy should go.

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Tags: dominance and submission, hand spanking, kink, other pictures, otk spanking, Real life punishment, Thomas Cameron

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Why the "Horrible Bosses" adverts make me jaw-grindingly angry

Posted at 12:20 on 26 Jul 2011 by Pandora / Blake

I've seen these adverts on the Tube recently (or very similar ones: the London version has the word "nympho" instead of "maneater".) They're for a film which will be showing soon in the UK, and the marketing campaign is aggressive. I'm even seeing promoted tweets about it turn up in my Twitter feed. So far, every ad I've seen has made me angry. My anger is half at the film itself (which is perhaps not fair to judge before I've watched it), and half at the way it's being marketed.

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Tags: consent, Female gaze, films and TV, Gender politics, other pictures, Politics, rant

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Kinky with housemates

Posted at 21:49 on 29 Jul 2011 by Pandora / Blake

It's a problem familiar to many of us. How to indulge in sexy kinky shenanigans when you have housemates, without either dying of embarrassment or making them die of embarrassment, lose their sleep, or make bumping into them in the kitchen even more awkward than usual?

I'm currently living in my fourth house share since leaving university, and I seem to have got on fairly well in that time. I've always been pretty blazé about my sexuality, though, so if you are more inclined to crippling self-consciousness about all things sex or kink-related, my perspective may not be very useful. Still, I've had enough experience juggling play partners and housemates to be able to offer some basic advice. (This guide omits Method 0: Don't give a fuck.)

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Tags: Clover Rock, how to, kink, making a scene, Nimue Allen, Northern Spanking, other pictures, Stephen Lewis

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e[lust] #28

Posted at 11:49 on 30 Jul 2011 by Pandora / Blake


Photo courtesy of Delilah

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether youre looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, youre going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #29 (Which will be in September, taking a short summer break)? Start with the rules and subscribe to the RSS feed and Twitter for updates and submission reminders.

~ This Weeks Top Three Posts ~

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Tags: Blogging, elust

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