Posted at 18:51 on 13 Mar 2012 by Pandora / Blake
I really enjoyed this recent post by Penny Barber, fellow entrepreneur and kinky pornographer who runs her own age play website, Pampered Penny. She's writing about the many emails she gets from men who are into ageplay but in unfulfilled, vanilla marriages, and the sympathy she has for their wives. If your partner won't talk to you about your kink, how can you be expected to fulfil them?
She has some useful suggestions for how to approach this sort of communication in a relationship. Penny's talking specifically about age play here, but this is good relationship advice for all kinksters:
If Ive learned anything over my eight years as a sex worker, talking to people from all walks of life, its that you cant deny your kink. You can try, but its a part of you, and not a small part. Its part of your identity. So I really, really suggest having the I have a fetish for _____, or I like to age play, conversation BEFORE you get married and even before things get too serious.
There are different ways to have that conversation, but Ive seen the most success when people start slow and build from there. Sexual fantasies make great pillow talk. You can play the, Tell me yours and Ill tell you mine, game or you can just come out with, You know, theres something Ive been wanting to try with you.
Lets say youre a sissy who is into diapers and incest role play. You dont need to drop that in someones lap all at once. After all, if youre in a LTR with someone, youll have a lot of time in which to explore and drawing things out keeps them from going stale as your partner discovers new ways that you can thrill each other. Maybe just start with, I like to wear panties sometimes. Its embarrassing for me in a way that makes my cock hard. Then shes likely to ask you a bunch of surprised questions and maybe you can have a conversation about why you think its embarrassing to do something she does routinely. (And youd better have thought it out from her point of view so that youre sure to have a good answer!) You know how some guys are always all, Whos your Daddy? I think Id like to try the inverse of that, can get you on the road to incest role play.