BBW III: Dana Kane, new connections, and caning Jade

Posted at 22:58 on 20 May 2013 by Pandora Blake

Tags: Angel, BBW, cane, Dana Kane, Dreams of Spanking, Gender politics, kink, Performers and producers, Photos, Sites and studios, spanking parties, strap, switching

It's a month since I was in Atlantic City for the Boardwalk Badness Weekend spanking party. As with my blog reports on the Texas All-State Party last summer, I had time for a couple of posts in the immediate aftermath, but then life took over. After all, travelling creates a backlog of things that need doing back home, and between catching up with work, gardening, fitness activities and couple time, blogging has taken a back seat. I do want to finish telling these stories, though; it was an important and memorable week for me. I hope you'll bear with me while I finish sharing my adventures.

Previous posts: Philadelphia and Punished Brats BBW II: Atlantic City

On Friday morning I woke up at 7am, an hour before my alarm, with my head whirling, replaying conversations that had happened the day before, slotting various memories into place.

In particular, I found myself replaying conversations in which someone had asked me to play with them and I'd turned them down. A spanking party is a strange, liberated world where inviting someone to play feels as easy as breathing. It makes it much easier to connect with new people, but for every "yes" there's likely to be a "no", and turning people down is never easy. My BBW room-mate Jade has written an excellent post about this. I had my first real practice in Texas last year, where I saw a lot of women, particularly young female bottoms, playing with people they didn't really want to because they didn't know how to say no. Not wanting to find myself in the same position, I resolved to learn.

My initial attempts last year were awkward, just as embarrassing for me as for the poor chap (and yes, it is always men who ask before they've accurately divined that the answer will be "yes please") I was rejecting. Since then I've worked on making my "no thank you"s as kind and graceful as possible without fostering false hope. It's not easy. That first night at the BBW suite parties, I slipped into the trap of making excuses. "I'm sorry, I'm not really planning my play this weekend" - "I'm feeling a little overcommitted already" - "I'm not really looking to bottom, just top".

Replaying these conversations in my mind early the following morning, it was clear to me that excuses were unnecessary, and made things more awkward. I decided that I didn't need to justify myself; just thank them for the compliment, say no, and move on. Lying in bed, I mentally rehearsed my new line: "Oh, that's so sweet of you. No, thank you, but thanks very much for asking." I got to practice it a few more times before the weekend was out .... and thankfully it got easier each time.

Jade was up early too and we were both hungry, so we struck out for a walk. Atlantic City was white-skied and windy. We found a local café to have breakfast, before Jade dropped me off at the neighbouring hotel where I was scheduled to shoot with Dana Kane at 10am.

I first met Dana when I shot her for Dreams of Spanking last year, a memorable day which also happened to be our first shoot with Michael Darling.

Dana instantly struck me with her warmth, beauty and poise, and as the shoot progressed I discovered she was also charming and funny. She is a joy to work with and I was looking forward to doing so again. She has just launched her new F/F and F/M members site Dana Kane Spanks - which you can read my impressions of here. This time I was also meeting, and co-bottoming with, her spankee Angel.

The hotel where Dana was staying had much nicer décor than the casino hotel where the party was being held. With dark wood tones and pale eggshell blues the rooms were bright, pleasant, and perfect for a video shoot.

It was great to see Dana again and the shoot was great fun, with a scene involving Angel and I spanked and mouth-soaped for using vulgar language.

It also included a hilarious prank on poor Angel which Dana had set up with me beforehand. That's a funny story, but to avoid spoilers I'll save it for when the behind the scenes video has gone up on Dana's site.

Afterwards I spent some time chatting to Dana and Angel, but not enough as I had to head back for a second shoot at midday, this time with Sarah Gregory. To my annoyance, by the time I returned to our room Sarah had texted me to reschedule the shoot, so I could have stayed longer with Dana and Angel after all!

Instead Jade and I walked out along the Boardwalk in search of coffee and internet, so I could get that week's film ready to publish on Dreams of Spanking.

I got the work done, but we couldn't resist a certain amount of conversation as well. I was really enjoying Jade's company, and we had a surprising amount in common. I told her as much while we walked back to the hotel, and she replied that she was delighted by it too. Not only is Jade level-headed, smart, cheerful and analytical, we are also both alpha females, feminist and polyamorous with two long-term male dominant partners. Jade doesn't switch, but apart from that our kinks are surprisingly similar - we both enjoy sensual and service-oriented submission as well as spanking, and we have similar perspectives on BDSM, discipline and D/S. If you don't know it, I can highly recommend her blog

It was 4.30am before I finally stumbled to bed. But then, as Alex says, at Boardwalk Badness Weekend, 5am is the new midnight.

Comments

[...] I was at Boardwalk Badness Weekend, I told my roommate Jade that I was a “marks fetishist”. I didn’t think much [...]

[…] true BBW style I stayed up until 5.30am, hanging out and catching up with Whooperine. The party was already off to […]

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