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Fear and calm

Posted at 11:41 on 4 Jul 2013 by Pandora / Blake

Earlier this year I found myself in one of those tricky, unspanked states. I knew I needed an intense sub session that pushed me and left me bruised and tearful and cleansed, but I wanted to be dominated, which generally relies on someone else wanting to do those things to me. Specifically, I wanted D to want that sort of scene; if he'd done it as a favour, it wouldn't have struck the right chord.

Once I've identified this need in myself I can quickly get stuck in a frustrated, uncommunicative loop where I don't want to ask for what I want, because that's not the point;but expecting my dom to be telepathic isn't generally very effective either.

One of the ironies of my life is that it's quite easy for me to arrange to be spanked, either on a film shoot or in a 121 switch session, but neither of those would give me the loss of control I was looking for. Nor are they with the person I feel most submissive to, and who is most capable of taking me to those dark, satisfying places.

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Tags: bastinado, cane, D, dominance and submission, kink, riding crop

6 comments

On being a marks fetishist

Posted at 23:38 on 7 Jul 2013 by Pandora / Blake

When I was at Boardwalk Badness Weekend, I told my roommate Jade that I was a "marks fetishist". I didn't think much about this wording at the time, but apparently it intrigued her, and she asked me to expand on it.

What I like about them

What I mean by saying I'm a marks fetishist is, perhaps, obvious, as I can express it in the wording of Jade's questions: I treasure marks. The marks I get (or give) are part of my kink, and have some deeper meaning. I desire them, negotiate for scenes that will cause them, and sometimes feel disappointed if you dont get them. Marks are arousing to me; they are a badge of honour. I fuss over them, look at them in the mirror, take pictures of them.

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Tags: dominance and submission, kink

29 comments

Happy birthday to me

Posted at 06:45 on 13 Jul 2013 by Pandora / Blake

It has been a hell of a week. The number of projects I can comfortably juggle is around four, and at the moment I'm juggling around seven. The last few days it's seemed like half an hour can't go by without something going wrong, or someone needing to talk to me. They are all exciting, interesting projects, but the end result is that it half past midnight and I am currently on a night bus on my way to D's place before our shoot tomorrow for Dreams of Spanking. We're shooting a day of couple nudes, spanking glamour and dominance/submission photos with photographer Matt Christie. I'm excited about the shoot, and was hoping to be a bit better slept than I'm going to be.

Still, it's a day I get to spend caressing and playing with my lover and call it work, so overall life is good. This last year or so, and especially since our seven-year anniversary in November, my and D's relationship has been full of happy feels and deepening attachment, and I'm looking forward to expressing that on camera. Plus it's the first shoot we've done together since we collectively got into fitness, and it'll be interesting to see how much our bodies have changed.

Speaking of D and happy feels, I wanted to tell you about my birthday caning.

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Tags: anal, cane, D, featured photos, kink, Photos

12 comments

Introducing the female gaze

Posted at 14:04 on 28 Jul 2013 by Pandora / Blake

A couple of weeks ago I was invited to speak at Gender Sex London on the topic of the female gaze in kinky porn, alongside male performer Michael Darling. It was a great evening, with a really positive reception and lots of thoughtful contributions from those who attended. You can read a storify of live tweets from the evening here.

I'll post the text of my one-hour talk in two parts.

 

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Tags: Anna Span, Annie Sprinkle, Body positivity, Dreams of Spanking, Fairtrade porn, Female gaze, Gender politics, Kink activism, Lucy McLean, Lust Films, Madison Young, Nimue Allen, Nimues World, Northern Spanking, Politics, Sarah Bright, Sites and studios, Spanking Sarah

22 comments

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