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Spank me

Posted at 01:40 on 7 Feb 2014 by Pandora / Blake

My late night fantasies vary a lot, from things that happened that day to things that will never happen, and nor would I want them to. Recently I had a bedtime fantasy which was less escapist than my usual fare; more of an expression of intent. I found myself imagining the scene negotiation I would have with Tom next time we played. Our relationship has been very positive lately, despite being long-distance, but we haven't had much opportunity to connect on a deeper D/S level. We'd planned for him to visit me in January and I felt ready to take things a step further. Initially I was just thinking about what to say, and then I started thinking about the ideal scene we might play. It quickly turned from idle daydreaming to a full-blown masturbation fantasy - and yes, it was hot enough to get me off.

The images in my head were of ceremony, formality. I remembered the scene trappings from our intense-but-unsustainable D/S dynamic when we first got together nine years ago. The sheepskin rug for me to kneel on at the base of the Chesterfield armchair, the leather-padded desk chair with the curved wooden arms, waiting in the centre of the room with its blindfold and restraints. Remembering the delicious, heart-pounding fear as I walked in and saw it, knowing I was about to be caned, knowing it was going to be hard.

I told him about it the next time we talked. The specific formalities of our first D/S dynamic aren't available to us these days - too much emotional baggage - but it was the atmosphere that I yearned for. I also mentioned that I had a new butt plug and was very interested in playing with it, and experimenting with combining it with CP. The idea of thatfair kept me going until he came to visit.

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Tags: anal, dominance and submission, Dreams of Spanking, Fantasies, featured photos, hand spanking, kink, otk spanking, Photos, rough sex, strap, thigh spanking, Thomas Cameron, wooden hairbrush

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Queer DiscOx Radio

Posted at 23:43 on 10 Feb 2014 by Pandora / Blake

I'm just on my way home from a lovely evening chatting to the folks at @QueerDiscOx radio, a sex-positive LGBTQ* discussion radio show based in Oxford. I'd never spoken on radio before but my experience with erotic audio recording must have stood me in good stead, because I didn't feel nervous at all, and only at the end of my 15 minute interview did I realise my heart was thumping away at double speed!

It helped that my hosts Vishnu and Johnny were eternally sweet, including bringing me and my co-panellist gay porn star Lyle Boyce cups of tea from Cafe Nero when we couldn't find a kettle. Caffeine makes the sex industry go round. To prove it they even gifted us both with Queer DiscOx branded rainbow mugs.

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Tags: audio stories, Fairtrade porn, Female gaze, Gender politics, Nimue Allen, Performers and producers, Photos, Politics, porn production, Queer politics

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Eroticon 2014 and other stories

Posted at 01:14 on 24 Feb 2014 by Pandora / Blake

Towards the end of last year I hired a part-time personal assistant, and it was one of the best professional decisions I've ever made. It's freed me up to spend less time on admin, and more time networking, campaigning and working on the creative and political projects I'm passionate about. Just what I needed to re-inject some inspiration and enthusiasm into my work.

Since hiring AJ, I've been able to follow up several exciting opportunities to talk to people about ethical porn, spanking and sexual freedom - from the FHM feature and QueerDiscOx radio show recently, to being interviewed about feminist pornography for a Masters thesis, and appearing in both a BBC3 documentary shoot about young people and porn (I don't know when the program will be aired, but will keep you updated), and a Guardian article (I was told it would be published six weeks ago, which leads me to guess that it might have been cancelled). All this has led to some tricky conversations with friends and family, and lots of thinky thoughts about the media, identity, visibility and the potential consequences of sticking my head above the parapet. Living in interesting times.

These changes have allowed me to get more involved not only as a content creator, but as a consumer as well. For instance, I've been making a conscious effort lately to buy (and watch) more feminist porn, which has been a thought-provoking and very horny process, even though I haven't yet found time to write all the reviews I want to write. It also freed me up to attend a fascinating evening of talks on sex workers rights hosted by Gender Sex Talks, which not only taught me a lot but left me feeling affirmed, supported, and keen to get more involved in the campaign for full legalisation of sex work. If this is something that interests you then a) you should read this Storify which contains many, many learnings, and b) let's talk more - follow me on twitter and say hi!

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Tags: Alex Reynolds, BBW, censorship, Dreams of Spanking, Gender politics, making a scene, Paul Kennedy, Performers and producers, Politics, Sex worker rights, Zoe Montana

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