Posted at 13:15 on 21 May 2014 by Pandora / Blake
Age play occupies a funny space in the kink community. Most spanking fetishists enjoy age play, but not everyone admits it.
Any fantasy based around school, or discipline from an authority figure at home such as a parent, uncle or aunt, is age play; but the phrase age play has only just started to become socially acceptable in the spanking scene. In the last couple of years "littles" events have started appearing at spanking events, which has increased exposure to age play, so I think those barriers are starting to be broken down. More people are discovering the innocent, carefree fun of age regression, which can be as much about colouring and playing with toys as it is about getting into trouble.
However, there still seems to be a barrier about when it comes to ABDL (Adult Baby Diaper Lover). From my perspective in the BDSM and spanking scenes, it seems to me that the schoolgirl/boy fetish is common and socially acceptable, as is being a naughty niece or nephew. Parent/child play such as daddy/daughter, mummy/boy or any other combination is also pretty common, although some people still find it uncomfortable. Being a little aged between, say, 6 and 12 years old, who plays with toy trucks, My Little Pony, crayons and glitter, is less common but becoming increasingly acceptable. And yet being an adult baby is still considered weird or taboo in most of the kinky social scenes I frequent.
ABDL isn't my kink (nor is being a little, particularly, although crayons and glitter are always fun) but this double standard is totally inconsistent. If one form of age regression or fun roleplay is acceptable, why not another?
For the last few years I've found Penny Barber's blog a source of great information on the ABDL kink. I particularly enjoyed this post on secondary sexual characteristics, which I think gives an insight into the complex relationship between sexuality and innocence in age play. It's full of paradoxes. I suspect ABDL is taboo because people think it's about sexualising children, but it seems to me that it's more about sexualising and eroticising the memories, rituals, and feelings associated with childhood, and the unequal power dynamic between parent and child. Which, let's face it, spanking fetishists do all the time.
ABDL also has a lot in common with leather and rubber fetish in being very focussed on textures, smells and sensations. This post by Penny on the appeal of diapers and changing is one of the best explanations of the diaper fetish I've ever read. I also think her writing on living in a relationship with a non-ABDL partner is very moving - I loved her posts Stealthing ABDL, Carefully, and Reverse age play within age play.
I got the chance to explore ABDL further when I shot with Jamie Foster (AKA Clare Fonda) for Naughty Diaper Girls last month. The four scenes are all now up, and they were an interesting mix. We started with an interview, with me wearing a nappy and Jamie asking me how it felt, and what sort of play I would enjoy if I was an adult baby. It was a nice way to approach it - I didn't have to pretend that ABDL was my kink, just express curiosity about it and speculate about what sort of baby I would be. Jamie asked questions like what toys I would play with, what I would get into trouble for and what my mummy and daddy would be like. (I think I might have shocked her by describing my fantasy of a sexually abusive daddy!)
We also filmed an aunty/niece scene in which Jamie overheard me masturbating and came into my room to put me in a nappy. I thought the scene would turn out to be the sort of sex-shaming "punished for masturbating" scenario I hate, but Jamie surprised me. She played a kind, motherly aunt who wanted to talk to me about sex. She told me there was nothing unnatural or unhealthy about it, but she wondered if I knew that sometimes, if I played with myself, I might squirt? Wouldn't it be less embarrassing to wear a nappy so I didn't have to worry about making a mess of the sheets? It was totally surreal, very quintessentially Jamie, and actually really sweet.
Jamie helped me into the diaper, which was a comfy pair of fitted plastic pants, and told me that she liked to wear these and she thought it would feel nice. The roleplay was supportive and nurturing rather than shaming or degrading. At the end she left the room and told me to have fun playing with myself in my new clean soft diaper. It was adorable.
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