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Post-partum physicality

Posted at 14:31 on 3 Sep 2019 by Pandora / Blake

My baby arrived in early July, two days early, after a day and a half of labour. They're now eight weeks old, and we're entering the final month of the "fourth trimester". We're both in good health, and words can't express the enormity, joy and transformation of the last two months.

Human babies are born less ready to survive in the world than any other mammals, and their brains are very undeveloped when they're born. If it wasn't for the pesky ratio of pelvis size to head circumference, we'd gestate them until they were ready to move around independently, like calves and puppies can. But as it is, we have this unique experience of a parent/child bond during these first few months where I am, in a very real way, an extension of their body - they physically need me to survive. It's part of the magnitude of the experience that I'm beholden to them 24/7 for sustenance, hydration, ablutions, movement, temperature regulation, and physical closeness. I've been reading various books on parenting and the neuroscience of brain development that emphasise how important cuddles are - and talking, singing, play and other forms of parent/child interaction - for cognitive and social development in early life. Which is good, because I really like cuddles, and snuggling my baby is an indescribably wonderful feeling.

Babywearing - carrying my child around on my front in a sling - has transformed my experience. Being able to hold my baby in a close embrace, rock and soothe them, while freeing up my hands to do other things ({like type this blogpost) is a game changer. I'm currently sitting with my laptop at the kitchen table, bouncing on the yoga ball.

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Tags: body positivity, kink, parenthood, play, post-partum

141 comments

Can has mailing list

Posted at 13:52 on 29 Sep 2019 by Pandora / Blake

Want me to email you more often? I've just set up a mailing list, to make it easier for me to get in touch with you all.

I've been feeling uneasy for a while about my dependence on Twitter to let the world know about my projects. If they pull the rug out from under accounts connected with porn and sex work, I'll lose my biggest broadcast medium in one shot. I decided to take steps to build my resilience. It's high time I hosted my own mailing list. Bonus: you get to hear from me more often!

If you want to be the first to know when I'm back from parental leave and available for spanking sessions again, this is for you.

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Tags: mailing list, sessions

 

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