Posted at 15:00 on 22 Dec 2020 by Pandora / Blake
I am no stranger to the difficulties of a long-distance relationship. I now live with my long-term partner and child, but there was a large chunk of my life where I lived alone and travelled to see my partners. Sometimes it was a bus ride, and sometimes a long train journey.
I've learned a lot and I'm still continuing to learn - the pandemic has introduced new obstacles for us to overcome, and has forced us to come up with ever more creative ways to stay connected. Particularly as spankophiles, it can be challenging to feel close to your partner when your usual way to connect is taking them over your lap. As Erica Scott puts it, we have a fetish that is not exactly conducive to social distancing.
I was therefore delighted to be asked by Jillian Keenan to be involved in her educational film on long-distance dynamics. This two-parter features so many spanking celebrities it'll make you spin - Princess Kelley May, Stephen Lewis, Ariel Anderssen, Pharaoh Spanks, Madame Samantha B, Cassidy Lau, Miss Rachel, and Erica Scott. It was an honour to be featured alongside my esteemed peers in this film, and I would encourage you to check it out. You may even recognise some of them from the Dreams of Spanking catalogue...
For my contribution, I spoke about the importance of communicating about your communication. This may sound redundant, but you would be surprised how quickly dialogue can break down when you're operating in a medium that one party isn't comfortable using.
It may be that you enjoy sitting down at the end of the day to craft a long chatty email, while your partner prefers to fire off quick messages intermittently throughout the day. In this example, the instant messenger may feel begin to feel ignored, while the emailer may become irritated by the constant ping of a new notification and the lack of an in depth reply to their latest letter.
Then there's the question of how we process information. Some people are visual and work well with text and video, while others feel most at ease when they're listening to audio. Depending on what you're talking about, someone may prefer a face to face call. Being aware of this can have a massive impact on how easy and satisfying it is to stay in touch.
The final point I make is a big one for me personally - if you make plans, stick to them. With the distance between you and so much uncertainty about the future, those dates in the diary can be the anchor that your partner needs to ground them. Prioritise that FaceTime call the same as you would if it were dinner and a movie.
My ideas form just a small part of this 2-part educational film that Jillian has masterfully brought together. Many of the skills mentioned by the various spankos can be applied to vanilla relationships and even friendships, so there is something useful for everyone. If nothing else, I found it fascinating to hear how different spankophiles overcome the barriers of long-distance. We can be quite innovative when we want to be, us kinksters!