I made a film, and I’m pretty damn excited about it.
‘Instructed’ is a collaboration between me and Ms Naughty, which was filmed at the Feminist Porn Awards this year. The shoot was attended by a BBC journalist – and that wasn’t the only way this was a new experience for me. This is my most explicit video to date, exploring themes of remote dominance, anal eroticism, solo spanking and female masturbation.
I’ve written before about how I came up with the idea of keeping D’s instructions a secret, and reading – and obeying – them live on camera. If you haven’t read them already, you can find out more about the shoot in my blogposts Submissive solo shoot with Bright Desire and What will I be told to do? I’m really glad that D got involved so closely with the shoot – both in writing orders for me to follow, and in recording himself reading his instructions for me to use as a voiceover. The result is an intimate, erotic film which is as fresh and exciting for me as it was on the day of the shoot.
Ms Naughty and I shared the footage, but we each worked on our own edit, creating two unique perspectives on the story. You can watch her take on the film at her feminist hardcore site Bright Desire, and mine at Dreams of Spanking. If you watch both I would be really interested in hearing your feedback, as we will be collaborating on a joint version which we can submit to future film festivals. (Having finished hers before the deadline, Ms Naughty has already submitted her cut to the Berlin Porn Film Festival on behalf of both of us, which is awesome of her.)
After finishing my edit I was so impatient to show D. When I read his letter live on camera, feeling myself smile and blush when I read the filthy things he had ordered me to do, I felt self-conscious not because the cameras were rolling, but because I knew that he would eventually watch my face as I read it. When I touched myself, spanked myself, obeyed his orders, I did so because I knew that one day, he would be watching. My performance was for him. I reached back and whacked my own arse with the brush as hard as I could because I knew that if I didn’t, when he watched it, he would know that I was slacking. I wanted him to see that I was doing my utmost to please him. I wanted the film to turn him on.
The day it came out he was at my place, and I needed to make the trailer before I could put it live on Dreams of Spanking. D was sitting on the sofa, in the same room where I was using the computer. “Can I show you our film now?” I asked. “I want to show it to you properly before I start cutting the trailer, so you aren’t spoilered by hearing it in dribs and drabs.”
“Our film?” he asked. “You mean porns?”
He smiled. “Okay.”
I pressed play and snuggled up to him. He had already released his cock from his trousers, and with a crooked smile he guided my head towards it. I had been looking forward to watching his face and his reactions as he watched it, but taking his erection into my mouth was even better.
I think he liked it. I hope you do too.