I’m coming to the end of a deliciously decadent weekend with D and two very good friends. I had a lovely time at Torture Garden last night, which seemed to have a more relaxed and friendly atmosphere than at previous events, as well as no shortage of pretty people to look at. We got looked at ourselves at various points during the evening, and the debauchery continued once we were back at D’s. I’m curled up on his sofa now under a duvet, happy and sleepy.

Things have been exciting for me since my last hyperkinks – two thrilling shoots for my site (the last ones before I launch!), my growing confidence as a switch with the aid of the ever-willing Jacq, and various good times in my personal life. But there’s been exciting stuff happening in the wider internetty world as well:

Kink

• I liked this post on the “Seven matrices of submission” by Rabbit White – an interesting deconstruction of varying types or aspects of submission, including ownership, service, restraint, being degraded, being fucked, being given away. Unsurprisingly, I particularly enjoyed the section on being beaten:

  Do you want or need to be beaten? This is not always about pain. You can “beat” someone for long periods of time without hurting them. When you are beaten you are the center of someone’s physical attention. This is about having someone use their strength against you… its not the pain but being the focus of a partner’s aggression. And of course, some people do like pain.

• BDSM’s Dirty Secret – The Real Risk of Kinky Sex emphasises the emotional intimacy of pain and power play:
  

  SM, along with some sports, is one of the few remaining semi-sanctioned arenas where raw emotions and connections are permitted and even celebrated. To engage in this behavior may lead to a flood of emotions, elation and even risk a failure to achieve connection, with the added danger of feeling genuine loneliness. It takes guts, skill and personal risk to fly high with another person.

• The Guardian had an interesting article a couple of weeks back on whether BDSM lifestyle should be protected in UK law as a philosophical belief, hinging on a worker dismissed for wearing her collar to work, and comparing the BDSM lifestyle with other cultural and religious practices. Kitty Stryker offers a counterpoint in her post “public kink != LGBT rights” on the question of whether individuals have the “right” to express their kink in public spaces.
• BDSM & Rape – what now? – a great round-up by Charlie Glickman, looking at how to reduce/prevent sexual assault within the BDSM community.

Sex work

• If you ever find yourself in an argument on sex work and feminism, this essay might come in handy – an excellent answer to the question is sex work anti-feminist? (TLDR; no.)
• While I was in Germany, controversy on sex work and motherhood abounded as Furry Girl aggressively challenged Madison Young on her use of images featuring her newborn. I briefly engaged with the debate on twitter as it first unfolded, but it’s been covered in far more detail since. Brief roundup: Maggie Mayhem explains eloquently why “paedophile” is not an accusation to be made lightly; Furry Girl‘s statement defending her stance; media write-up by Salon magazine and finally, Madison’s artist statement for the work in question.
• Broadly, I’m with Madison on this one – I don’t think being a sex worker makes every creative expression in your whole life sexual or pornographic by default; I think parents and guardians have the right to consent to childrens’ appearance in art, even political art; I don’t think there’s anything intrinsically wrong with having sex or sexual conversations near, around or in the same room as very young children (although Madison’s ‘crime’ was merely including her child in an educational event about sexuality), and I think it’s highly offensive to suggest that this is in any way comparable to paedophilia. All of this has inevitably triggered thoughts and conversations on sex, sex work and parenting, and some of those thoughts are expressed in my comment on Kitty Stryker’s “To breed or not to breed” post here.

Science!

• A fascinating study from The Journal of Sexual Medicine: Women’s Clitoris, Vagina, and Cervix Mapped on the Sensory Cortex

Female gaze

• I loved this retro-style pinup set of men wearing and doing stereotypically masculine things – but posing in the style of classic cheesecake. It’s like a cross between cheesecake and beefcake. Mmm, cake.



• Another interesting female gaze link for you: a website devoted to selling fancy bedroom wear for men to wear to please their lady friends, full of photos of ultra-buff masculine models flaunting lacy and silky underthings. It’s cross-dressing, but it’s not feminising; a fascinating double ground to try and inhabit. I particularly enjoyed the “Fantasy” section, although I admit I was disappointed that the “Iron Man corset” didn’t feature look like actual Iron Man armour.

  But – sculpted latex superhero corsetry for men, though! If it existed, that would actually be awesome.

Whatever you do, don’t click here.