The evolution of punishment; or, how I came to like it

If I were to tell you that historically, punishment has not been something I’ve enjoyed, I’d appear to be stating the obvious. Of course no-one enjoys punishment, that’s sort of the point. [read more »]

Notes from the weekend

i. The tone was set by D. on Saturday morning, with an unexpected legs-in-the-air spanking. His spankings are always unexpected, because he always springs them on me first thing in the morning when I’m barely conscious. I blame his cock, which likes mornings far more than either of us, waking me with hot, velvety nudges against my hip. [read more »]

Ups and downs

Studios are odd places, never inhabited but constantly striving to seem real. And yet real things have happened here, real conversations, real spankings, real sex. It doesn’t count when the cameras are rolling but the ghost of it lingers; studios have a feel similar to school playgrounds, clamouring with the echos of the humans that fleetingly spent their time here. [read more »]

Writhe

He gave me a long look, and then his voice and eyes altered ever-so-slightly in that way they do when he’s being my Dom rather than my boyfriend. “Yes,” he said quietly, “I think I know what you need. I think you need to be paddled.”
[read more »]

Sexual narratives

In each of the two relationships the complexity and the ritual arises, for the most part, in different types of play. My sex-life with both partners is broad and rich and interesting, but the pinnacle of that interest – the narrative focus – differs between the two. [read more »]

• The rites of spring: a switching in the woods
• Punishment, humiliation and bondage
• Playing the game: roleplay and scene etiquette
• A teabreak tawsing: domesticity with a lady friend
• Adventures in topping: my first over-the-knee spanking from the other side
• Self-enhancing energy systems: reflections on polyamory and sexual energy
• When fantasy alters reality: the importance of headspace
• Four's company: bottoming, topping, new connections in polyamory
• Desert island kink: why a leather belt is my #1 kink accessory
• Caning, energy and romance: how to fly
• The power of a collar: D/S and self-esteem
• 66 cane strokes: sink or swim

Submissive while feminist

I’ve changed a lot as I’ve educated myself about gender and culture, and my relationships have had to change with me. So has my feminism affected my submission and my D/S relationships? [read more »]

Erotic asphyxiation: treatments of kink in therapy and the media

Just before Christmas, Dr Petra Boynton called my attention to a worrying article in Psychologies magazine (remember, the one which supplied the bad science which has been used to justify the idea of a UK opt-in system for online porn). This nuanced piece of journalism, entitled “Erotic asphyxiation — why do people do it?”... [read more »]

Porn, like sex work, defies easy generalisations

When I arrived at Women’s Question Time at Westminster last night, a panel debate on feminist issues hosted by Eaves, I was dismayed to see that the literature being handed out included a copy of The Big Brothel Report, the controversial report on sex work and trafficking which alienated so many sex worker campaign groups. [read more »]

M/m and gender equality in spanking porn

This question has been at the front of my mind lately. My original ambition for my new site was to publish high-quality M/m and M/mf spanking porn on the same site as all other orientations, in an attempt to appeal to the female and queer male audience which is so often invisibled by the industry. [read more »]

• Why opt-in filters for adult content are misguided and dangerous
• BDSM in the UK: spanking, the media and the law
• Defining fairtrade porn: towards a new industry standard
• UK porn ban?: internet censorship
• Extreme porn legislation: after the Act
• The Law and Policy of Sex work I and II
• Spanked for being 'slutty': modelling, boundaries, and porn marketing
• Arousal is not consent: rape, fantasy and reality
• Taking action against 'extreme porn' legislation
• Sex work and the right to choose
• Fighting for freedom: the Max Mosley case, privacy and freedom of expression
• Cum-shots, spanking, and the role of blogging in feminist porn

• Ariel Anderssen's Slave Dance by Restrained Elegance
• Getting Medieval on her Ass by Northern Spanking
• Schoolgirls in Space by Northern Spanking
• What Happens in Vegas by Northern Spanking
• The Travelling Disciplinarian and the Novelist by Northern Spanking
• Amelia's Sunday Spanking by Elegance Studios

• Spanking Tips for Newbies
• Spankology 101: The Politics of Spanking
• BDSM as a sexual orientation, and complications of the orientation model
• I’m Gonna Need You to Fight Me On This: How Violent Sex Helped Ease My PTSD
• Domism: Role Essentialism and Sexism Intersectionality in the BDSM Scene
• The Devaluation of Male Submission
• The fantasy of acceptable non-consent: why the female sexual submissive scared us, and why she shouldn't
• H8: keep 'em out of sight - on the invisibling of M/m in the spanking niche
• Spanking, control and the hypnotism thing: experiments in bottoming
• Femdom, gamers and rape culture