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Body love

Posted at 15:00 on 8 Oct 2019 by Pandora / Blake

Pandora Blake post-partum body love

This is me 13 weeks post-partum.

Stretch marks, soft tummy, big boobs, one usually bigger than the other (depending on which one the little one has fed from recently). Strong arms, back and shoulders from carrying my child who is getting bigger by the day.

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Tags: Body positivity, parenthood, photos, post-partum

154 comments

Can has mailing list

Posted at 13:52 on 29 Sep 2019 by Pandora / Blake

Want me to email you more often? I've just set up a mailing list, to make it easier for me to get in touch with you all.

I've been feeling uneasy for a while about my dependence on Twitter to let the world know about my projects. If they pull the rug out from under accounts connected with porn and sex work, I'll lose my biggest broadcast medium in one shot. I decided to take steps to build my resilience. It's high time I hosted my own mailing list. Bonus: you get to hear from me more often!

If you want to be the first to know when I'm back from parental leave and available for spanking sessions again, this is for you.

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Tags: mailing list, sessions

 

Post-partum physicality

Posted at 14:31 on 3 Sep 2019 by Pandora / Blake

My baby arrived in early July, two days early, after a day and a half of labour. They're now eight weeks old, and we're entering the final month of the "fourth trimester". We're both in good health, and words can't express the enormity, joy and transformation of the last two months.

Human babies are born less ready to survive in the world than any other mammals, and their brains are very undeveloped when they're born. If it wasn't for the pesky ratio of pelvis size to head circumference, we'd gestate them until they were ready to move around independently, like calves and puppies can. But as it is, we have this unique experience of a parent/child bond during these first few months where I am, in a very real way, an extension of their body - they physically need me to survive. It's part of the magnitude of the experience that I'm beholden to them 24/7 for sustenance, hydration, ablutions, movement, temperature regulation, and physical closeness. I've been reading various books on parenting and the neuroscience of brain development that emphasise how important cuddles are - and talking, singing, play and other forms of parent/child interaction - for cognitive and social development in early life. Which is good, because I really like cuddles, and snuggling my baby is an indescribably wonderful feeling.

Babywearing - carrying my child around on my front in a sling - has transformed my experience. Being able to hold my baby in a close embrace, rock and soothe them, while freeing up my hands to do other things ({like type this blogpost) is a game changer. I'm currently sitting with my laptop at the kitchen table, bouncing on the yoga ball.

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Tags: body positivity, kink, parenthood, play, post-partum

17 comments

Playing with Faye Summers

Posted at 14:40 on 6 Jul 2019 by Pandora / Blake

It was very strange, packing a bag with toys and BDSM equipment, showering and grooming myself, and preparing to leave the house - for the sake of a session where I was going to be the one paying, rather than the one being paid.

Normally when I'm packing implements to see a client, if I'm going to be receiving, I choose toys that I like. This time, I was explicitly picking the implements I hate. Playing with a trusted friend, I wanted to go deeper than I can when I'm with a client, and explore some of the sensations that make me more afraid. 

In a way, it was relaxing knowing that this appointment was for me. I didn't bother wearing makeup, I threw on comfy clothes, and I didn't have to re-read anyone's emails to refresh my memory about what they wanted. Driving to Faye Summer's apartment just south of the river, my mind was calm. Rather than anticipating the appointment, I enjoyed the sunshine and listened to music, my thoughts clear.

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Tags: anal, BDSM, bondage, breast play, kink, pregnancy, sex in pregnancy, spanking, submission, tawse, wooden paddle

59 comments

The sex worker's sex worker

Posted at 19:22 on 25 Jun 2019 by Pandora / Blake

A few weeks ago I sent a nerve-wracking email.

For a few years now, I've been thinking about hiring a sex worker. I've been inspired by the wonderful women and queer folx who have booked me for sessions: our culture makes it a lot easier for men to honour their sexual needs and seek out ways of getting them met than people of other genders, particularly people who have experienced misogyny and slut-shaming. I really admire it when a woman or non-binary person comes to me, knowing what they want, and with enough self-esteem to think they deserve to get it. It made me wonder if this would be something I might do for myself one day.

The problem, as I saw it, was that as a sex worker myself, all of the suitable candidates I could think of - who I knew I could trust with my body and my fantasies - were friends and colleagues. Some of them friends I hadn't dated, some of them friends I had. Part of the professionalism of sex work, for me, is to maintain distinct boundaries between my clients and my social life, in order to manage everyone's expectations and make sure I'm not giving too much. So it seemed the idea was a non-starter - even though I felt like it might be a really cool experience to be on the other side for once.

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Tags: boundaries, kink, sex work, submission

4 comments

Age verification faces ongoing delay

Posted at 11:30 on 22 Jun 2019 by Pandora / Blake

According to the Guardian, age verification "faces indefinite delay" due to bureaucratic incompetence:

"It is set to be delayed for legal reasons after government officials failed to notify the European commission of key details."

I shouldn't laugh, but this is comedy gold.

The massive privacy failings of this policy should have been a deal-breaker. Legislators should never have tried to regulate the internet by force of law when they don't understand how it works. Thanks to the tireless efforts of campaigners such as myself, Myles Jackman, Jim Killock, Alec Muffett and the rest of Open Rights Group, Backlash UK, Misha Mayfair and others, the threat that age verification represents to the privacy of internet users is well attested, and is now mentioned in any news coverage about the issue.

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Tags: age verification, AgeID, BBFC, DCMS, Digital Economy Act, Dreams of Spanking, in the news, law, legislation, MindGeek, Myles Jackman, Open Rights Group, porn, privacy

9 comments

My most destructive finger slip ever

Posted at 13:59 on 6 Jun 2019 by Pandora / Blake

Since the start of this week I've been on parental leave. Hooray! My baby is due in 4-5 weeks time - which means of course that the birth might happen sooner than that, but it might be later, too. Due "dates" are a bit of a misnomer; it's more of a due month (38-42 weeks gestation).

I decided to give myself the last month of my pregnancy off, and I've been looking forward to this time for ages. Well, I say off. To be truthful, I'd earmarked this time for admin (filing my tax return early so it's out of the way), writing (I made great progress on my book in April, but May was full with other endeavours, so the zeroth draft is still some way from completion), sorting the house out and getting ready for the baby, and resting.

I've also decided to hand over project management for Dreams of Spanking to a trusted friend, so that new updates can go out while I'm caring for my newborn. I have a fair few spanking videos edited and ready to publish, and it will work really well for me to delegate the job of keeping track of what needs doing for each one (in terms of image editing, trailers, writing copy etc) before it can go live. So I've ended up having to do that handover during my "leave", too.

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Tags: Dreams of Spanking, porn production

15 comments

When life gives you lemons

Posted at 13:10 on 14 May 2019 by Pandora / Blake

I got to try something new the other day.

The gentleman I was playing with is someone I've seen a number of times over the last four years. He likes hard canings straight from cold - with occasional birchings and tawsings thrown in for good measure. I thought I knew what was coming. Imagine my face when he reaches into his bag at the start of the session and brings out - a pack of unwaxed lemons.

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Tags: cane, kink, sessions

18 comments

Privacy blunder as govt announces age verification commencement date

Posted at 12:28 on 19 Apr 2019 by Pandora / Blake

This week the DCMS announced that age verification will come into effect on 15 July 2019. Hilariously, they can't even send out a press release without making an embarrassing privacy mistake. From the Guardian this week: 

"Unfortunately for the government’s attempts to calm fears on the privacy issue, the news was announced by the Department for Digital, Culture, Media, and Sport in an email that exposed the contact details of almost 300 recipients. DCMS was also responsible for implementing the new GDPR laws in the UK, which mandate large financial penalties for breaches that expose personal data."

We don't even need Private Eye - DCMS are more than capable of satirising themselves.  

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Tags: age verification, DCMS, in the news, media, Open Rights Group, privacy

31 comments

London Porn Film Festival is next week!

Posted at 13:19 on 16 Apr 2019 by Pandora / Blake

I'm so excited that the London Porn Film Festival is back next week and bigger than ever, with eight amazing short film programmes, a "Fuck me in the ear" audio porn workshop, a sex education panel, a full-length feature film, and a special programme curated by the guest of honour, Lina Bembe. This is the third LPFF and it's become one of the highlights of my year. I love having the chance to soak up new porn creations from across the world, and hang out with other people making queer, feminist and kinky porn in the UK and beyond.

Even more thrilling, I'm featured in three films that are screening this year! Two Dreams of Spanking films have been selected, Velvet Touch - a collaboration with Chelsea Poe and Courtney Trouble of QueerPorn.tv - and Even Teachers Make Mistakes, my popular and playful new schoolgirl-with-a-twist film, have both been selected, in the The Wetter The Better and The Kinks Are Alright categories respectively. 

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Tags: Bishop Black, Charlie Forrest, Dreams of Spanking, feminist porn, film festivals, film screenings, London Porn Film Festival, Nimue Allen, photos, porn, queer porn

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