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Acquiescence

Posted at 17:33 on 6 Apr 2011 by Pandora / Blake

I have some very exciting news. A film I started making nearly four years ago is now, finally, available. Tom and I wrote and filmed Acquiescence with Michael Stamp and Stephen Lewis for Control and Reform in the summer of 2007, but the process of editing and finishing it has been a long and drawn out one (with some spankings along the way!). I haven't seen the final cut yet, but Michael Stamp has just sent me a trailer and the news that it's ready. Click on the picture to download the five-minute video preview:

This remains one of my favourite projects, and I'm very proud of it. It's a dark, psychological interrogation thriller set in a dystopian near-future. My character is dragged from her bed and into a state van in the middle of the night, and taken to a secure facility where she is questioned and isolated. She was never particularly political and her arrest comes as a complete and total shock. She has no idea what information they after, and (apart from references to certain forbidden sexual habits) she is never accused of anything more specific than "sedition". Her interrogators are verbally aggressive, but never touch her; and during the night and the long periods of solitude she is frequently hauled from her cell, blindfolded and shivering, and beaten by anonymous figures who never speak a word.

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Tags: Control and Reform, DVD releases, Fantasies, featured photos, Michael Stamp, Photos, Stephen Lewis, Thomas Cameron, Videos

9 comments

Back behind Bars

Posted at 20:53 on 10 Aug 2010 by Pandora / Blake

So last Sunday I had my second shoot with Bars and Stripes. It's been a while coming. I was first admitted in January 2007, sentenced to 12 months for repeated and aggravated shoplifting - a youthfully naive vendetta against the capitalist system. Bless. Once inside, my character's sulky, self-involved behaviour earned her the contempt of the guards, and her sentence the mistrust of the other inmates. Her social isolation reinforced her sense of victimhood, and all in all, she emerged from her 12 months behind bars more paranoid, angry and socially incompetent than she'd been before.



At her trial two years later, for another incident of theft, she pleaded not guilty. Nonetheless, she was sentenced to another two years. The prison was the same, although it had since moved premises; some of the staff members were familiar, others not. I wanted to leave it deliberately ambiguous as to whether she had committed the crime she was prosecuted for. Her claims of innocence are hard to take seriously given her conviction that everyone is out to get her; on the other hand; her reputation during her previous sentence was undeserved. She didn't indulge in petty theft from other inmates once she was inside - she just wanted to be left alone - but she was treated as if she did, and punished for it too.



My plan for this shoot was that her social paranoia would escalate during her second spell inside until she started doing seriously stupid things, like pre-emptively moving everyone's possessions around so that everyone in her cellblock would be suspect, and she would be less in the spotlight for once. But it didn't quite work out like that. Turns out that plot hinging on a relationship with the other inmates is quite hard to communicate when you don't have any other inmates to hand, so the storyline ended up focussing much more on her relationship with the guards. It was wonderful to work with Paul Kennedy again - such a gentle, clever, warm gentleman who gives hard spankings, intense in-scene eye-contact and amazing post-caning cuddles.

The other guard was someone I hadn't worked with before: a certain Zoe Harrison, whom I've rather fancied ever since seeing her in (as yet unreleased) Control and Reform film Cruel Correction (of which I have a review to post as soon as it's released ... hint hint, Mr Stamp!) Zoe is the hot, deliciously wicked new guard who recently, to my delight, appeared in a Bars scene with her real-life spankee sister Natasha:



(How hot is that?!)

A lot of Zoe's experience to date has been doing F/m work with a rather broader BDSM remit than most spanking porn. I don't know if this as affected her style, but I found myself deliciously plunged into a whirlwind of unfair, vicious, sexy, playful domination which made a delightful change from the traditional "firm but fair" domination normal to the spanking industry. (Firm but fair is also lovelylovelylovely, but I'm a sucker for variety.) The shoot involved some things I haven't done on camera before, some things I haven't done with a woman before, and lots of wonderfully intense psychodrama, mental games, verbal abuse and CP hard enough to make me giddy.

Highlights, for me, included:

  • During my intake scene, being held down by Zoe while Paul spanked me - her elbows digging into my back, her weight pressing me to the table. I felt a little long to be bending over that low desk, with my legs stretched out behind me, but I love being pinned down so much I promptly forgot all my self-consciousness.

  • Also during my intake: after removing my knickers, I lobbed them moodily at Paul. In response, he picked them up, arched an eyebrow, and proclaimed "These are wet. Disgusting."

    "They are NOT!" I squealed in outrage. (Of course, in fact they probably were. But my character isn't kinky, so the guards must have been lying...)

    "Harrison. Confirm." He handed them to Zoe, who made a great fuss about how soiled they were before stuffing them into my startled mouth. I was totally taken by surprise. Now, normally I am the first person to go "ew" at this trope in spanking porn, but somehow with these people and in this context it just worked for me. It wasn't about how horny my character was - rather, it was an unfair tool the guards were using to further degrade and abuse me. Which rather set the tone for the rest of the day...

  • And yet, tellingly: I was putting on the familiar, too-short red prison uniform, with much moaning and whinging. Before the scene, I'd checked that it fit (the label said size 8, but since it fit over my size 12-14 butt it must have been lying, or else they were cut REALLY loose). However, I'd neglected to check the fit of the regulation black prison panties. Cameras rolling, I pulled them up to just over the knee before realising they weren't going any higher.

    "Mmmffmf mffmfmff mm!!" I said. Paul and Zoe watched me expectantly. I pulled my panties back out of my mouth and complained "These are too small, sir."

    "Well," sneered Paul without missing a beat, "you'll just have to go without, won't you?" So I did.

    After the scene, in the dressing room, I said to Zoe, "By the way, thanks for not taking the opportunity to make a fat joke there. I mean, it would have been in character I guess, but I wouldn't have liked it."

    She started at me in astonishment. "God, of course not! We wouldn't do that." Hooray for compassionate tops who take it for granted that they need to be decent about sensitive topics, even in the middle of a humiliating, improvised verbal abuse scene.

  • Having Zoe pin my hands flat to the floor with the toes of her stiletto shoes while I was over Paul's knee getting a hard hand spanking. I didn't see that coming at all. She was careful not to crush my hands, but she put enough weight on them that I was trapped and ... oh. I can't describe the sudden, overwhelming, frightening helplessness of it. It was intense.

  • Over the course of the shoot I had my face slapped by Zoe about ten times, each one harder than the last. I love having my face slapped - it's not an erotic sensation but the D/s play of it is really powerful. The last was so forceful I skidded across the floor, hair flying and ears actually ringing. (I'd earned it: I think my character had made a comment about whether Zoe's dysfunctionality was a result of her being abused as a child...) I felt shocked and giddy, and as I stared at her, trying to collect myself and I remember thinking very clearly, wow, so THAT'S what they mean in books when they refer to your ears ringing. Afterwads I was practically bouncing up and down with glee. However, I refrained from earning myself another clip round the ear that day.

  • After the first full body search Zoe gave me, Michael Stamp stopped us and asked her to do it again more roughly. "Like this," he said, grabbing my shoulders, twisting me off balance, and 'patting' me down with brusque slaps. Zoe watched intently.

    "Shall we start again?" she asked Mike.

    "No, just give her another one, you don't need a reason, do you?"

    I'm sure it's not normal to enjoy your job this much.

  • Getting a double paddling from Zoe and Paul. This was my idea, at first - but I'd envisaged, you know, one top on each side, taking turns to whack me at a normal sort of pace. I didn't expect to be grabbed round the waist by Zoe and for them both to start smacking away in unison at top speed. It was agonising, and I couldn't stay still - I yelped and twisted in their grip, bucking helplessly, not even in enough control to stay attractively bent over. It was so. Very. Hot. God, I'm getting turned on again just thinking about it.

  • Zoe played the mean, teasing guard to full effect. After I was caught snooping around in someone else's cell (my character was trying to find a razor to shave my legs after Zoe's humiliating comments about how 'stubbly' my character was - I mean, come on, razors aren't normal in prison, are they? But you need friends to get access to the black market...) she bent me over the bunk and spanked me. Then she proceeded to trash the room and abuse me until I admitted having done it myself - and admitted having stolen things from the cell. It got deliriously intense. Reminiscent of those classic doublethink torture scenes; there are five lights...

  • Over the course of that scene, Zoe pulled my hair; smacked my face and my legs; shouted at me; threatened to shave my eyebrows off with the razor (and pretended to actually nick a bit off, although she didn't really); made me kiss her shoe ("I'm not hearing kissy noises!"

    "I ... don't make kissy noises when I kiss shoes, normally."

    "Well you're going to make them now!"); and removed MY shoe, wiped the sole disgustedly on my tunic, and then proceeded to whack me with it over the knee until my whole bottom felt bruised.



  • Of course, after Zoe reported my misdemeanours, I was punished for them. A judicial session in the punishment room, stripped naked and bound to the horizontal cross for a whole-body flogging. Taking pity on my battered self, Paul and Malc chose the softest, loveliest of suede floggers, and I took 40 hard strokes on back, bottom and legs. I had to try and react enough to keep the scene visually interesting despite the lack of dialogue, twisting in my bonds and throwing my head back - and of course I had to act as if it was as severe as it looked - but inside I just wanted to float away, hang my head and lie there limp as a rag while the dreamily soft, thuddy, strokes rained down on me and took me straight into subspace... Ahh, it felt gorgeous. Definitely a scene to revisit another day, when I can relax and enjoy it...



  • In the final scene, my character, driven to desperation by her friendless situation and the peculiarly focussed and weird torments inflicted on her by Zoe, approached the Guv to offer her services as a snitch, in return for being moved to a different cellblock. I won't tell you how it ends, but I managed to earn myself one more caning before we wrapped for the day. I'd picked the cane called Excalibur: Michael Stamp's pride and joy, stiff and thick and not horribly heavy, with a steel sheath that he just loves to draw it from with a big flourish.

    I was more bruised and tired than I realised, and by the time I'd taken 6 firm strokes I could feel the tears start to come. Normally I'd relish the chance to have a good cathartic weep during the last scene of the day, but the storyline demanded my character stay stoic. So I had to cut the scene - "Sorry, I just need a bit of a breather, I'm about to cry and I don't want to do so in character..." and took deep breaths while Mike rubbed my back and made soothing noises. I refused to let them stop the scene there, or give me light strokes for the rest of it - I can't think of anything more frustrating for the viewers, or for me - but they didn't want to push me too far.

    In the end we agreed a compromise: I'd take three more light strokes with the camera on my face, and the last three would be medium-hard to finish. I'm not sure how good my acting was - I was a bit shaky and spun out - and I felt a bit cheated when the last three weren't as hard as I could have taken. But I really appreciated their care. Afterwards Mike gave me a massive hug and told me well done for cutting and that it was the right thing to do, which was utterly lovely of him. A couple of years ago I would have felt terrible about it and angsted for hours, but on this occasion I'd quite clearly done it for the scene's sake, and I didn't feel too bad about it. I snuck up to Paul while we were finishing up the stills and claimed a much-needed cuddle, though.

How lucky am I to work with such amazing, warm, empathic people, who know me well enough to take me safely on an emotional rollercoaster, push me to my limits but no further? It was an exhilirating, hot, hard shoot, and I had a huge amount of fun. Now, it's just the long wait until the results come out...

Oh, and we ended on a cliffhanger, so you never know - there might be more of this story to come. I'll leave that in the Governor's hands, though!



All stills from my first shoot with Bars and Stripes in 2007.

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Tags: Bars and Stripes, Control and Reform, Michael Stamp, other pictures, Paul Kennedy, Photos, shoot writeups, Zoe Page

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The Guv's Revenge

Posted at 16:52 on 19 Mar 2010 by Pandora / Blake

Here's an end-of-the-week treat for you all. Michael Stamp (otherwise known as the Governor of Bars and Stripes) and I filmed this little clip on our shoot for my new site in December. Last year we worked together on a full-length film called 'Acquiescence' for Control and Reform, but due to an unfortunate sequence of events, work on the project was delayed for several months.

Well, I say unfortunate sequence of events, but the Governor thought I deserved a spanking. I was in that weird place of being torn between defensiveness (I'm so stupidly busy! I really did lose the first DVD he sent out! I'd already spent ages working on this with him, it wasn't my fault the file was corrupted and we had to start again! etc etc) and guilt (yes, but it wasn't his fault either; if I hadn't taken so long getting back to him, the film could have been released last year; he runs both his sites around a crazy responsible fulltime job, so I really have no excuse). In the end, guilt won out. I agreed that I deserved a spanking, and he promptly gave me one.

I'm afraid this clip suffers from the Case of the Headless Spankee thanks to some careless tripod setup on my part, but I'm sure you can find it in your hearts to forgive me.



Click on the screencap to view or download the clip. Enjoy!

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Tags: Control and Reform, Michael Stamp, Photos, Videos

2 comments

Christmas spanking roundup

Posted at 20:42 on 23 Dec 2009 by Pandora / Blake

I wrote a long entry on Monday about meeting Zille and Malc, and my (lack of) social energy during the shoot, but I wrote it late at night and decided to sit on it a bit before posting. Now it's two days later and I don't want to publish two mopey posts about the shoot in a row, but I've had no time to write anything else. My internet at home only started working again last night, and between festive preparations, shopping trips that are always more time-consuming and physically exhausting than you allow for, and the hectic push to get work projects finished by new year ... I'm going to get it all done, just, but it's been pretty crazy.

Although outwardly the last week and a half have been pretty vanilla, spanking is never far from my mind. In fact, in some ways this week has been pretty kink-heavy. Let's see...

1. I haven't yet seen any of the images from the shoot with Zille, but I sneaked some photos of my bum in the work loos, as is my wont. I realise I haven't actually told you anything about the scenes we played yet, but here are my marks three days later:



I still intend to write about those scenes, btw. I just have to get the more recent stuff out of my head first...

2. On Monday, Zoe Montana and I had booked what would probably be our last two-to-one session together before she moves to Australia in early January. We were both looking forward to it, but at the last minute she had to cancel, having come down with the same fluey stomach bug that everyone's caught lately. She's feeling better now, and we've managed to reschedule our session to the 29th, which I honestly wasn't expecting at this late notice. I understand it will involve black hold ups, heels, and the cane. And possibly wine. As I write this I'm idly wondering whether cheekily wearing a Santa hat will earn me extra strokes.

3. We won't be able to play too hard, however, because the next morning Zoe and I are shooting for my new site. I wasn't expecting that, either, but all power to her for squeezing it in - we've got the day, booked the venue, and Michael Stamp is kindly stepping in to help with cameras and lighting. The star of the show, though, will be young Jimmy Holloway; this is will be his first video shoot. I couldn't think of a better top than Zoe to guide him through his first spanking on camera. I'll be getting punished alongside him, because I have an abiding fondness for scenes where boys and girls get spanked together, and they're all too rare in porn. Since our photoshoot in February he's done the odd M/m session as a spankee, which has given him valuable experience, but I suspect this is going to a be a different kind of thing.

This time I intend to have lots of fun, make sure everyone else is having fun, and not get too stressed. I'll let you know how that goes. ;)

4. Oh, and I've also been commissioned to do a couple of short film clips by a reader of this blog, so I've been working on that this week as well. Eventually, the intention is for these to be published on my new site as well. This is the first time I've done custom video - it's very different from producing my own material. It's a bit of a departure from the rest of the stuff I'm producing, but variety is the spice of life, and all that. Anyway, it's an interesting experiment. If the client is happy and everyone involved has fun, I'll consider doing it again.

5. Last Thursday I had the pleasure of meeting @rogerwilcox and his partner - albeit far too briefly, thanks to my crammed schedule. He gave me a handcrafted Christmas gift, which is just so generous - I am extremely appreciative :) I'm leaving it wrapped until the 25th, but can you guess what it is...?



6. On Sunday I finally - after many months of procrastination, DVDs getting lost in the post (and my flat), and life getting in the way - watched the edit of Acquiescence that Michael Stamp sent me some time ago. There's backstory here: after two days of hardcore editing, by the end of which we were both pretty pleased we'd got the structure we wanted for the story, he suffered a software failure. The file got corrupted, and our hard work was lost. Michael, bless him, spent ages recreating the edit from memory, and as I didn't have time to travel back down to go over it with him, popped it in the post to get my feedback. He really shouldn't have had to wait as long as he did (and I daresay I will come to regret it next time we meet up!) but re-watching it reminded me how invested I am in this film, and how much I want to get it right so I can show it to people.

(As it turns out, the only sensible thing for me to do is travel down again in January to help out with the final stage. Man, film-making around a fulltime job is a slow, slow hobby. I wish I could do it full time ... but I'm working on that. And then I daresay I'll miss doing everything else. I am not designed by nature to only do one thing at a time.)

7. The last sections of Strictly Come Spanking have been released! I'm saving them to watch after I finish work tonight, but voting on the finalists ends tonight, so if you haven't downloaded them yet, go and do that now. And then vote, because that will make the lovely people at Northern happy :)

8. Speaking of voting, some kind soul (I don't know who, as I can't find the comment) has nominated me for the Spanking Spot's Spanking Blog of the Year award. I don't realistically stand a chance against such internet superstars as Chross and Pixie, and I don't think I deserve to win after how erratic my posting has been lately. But you should vote - even if it's not for me. :)

9. It's been snowing in London, but I've learned my lesson and haven't attempted any more naked snowy photoshoots. In fact, come to think of it I haven't been spanked since the cold snap landed (although if Tom's and my thoughts were deeds, I'd have been over his lap a dozen times in the last few days. Instead we have been making kinky eyes at one another in company, and then crashing in a tired heap as soon as we're alone. Ah well).

Luckily, I can live vicariously through Emma Jane, who endures all sorts of things so I don't have to. Like a punishment spanking in the snow, in front of a crowd of friends, which started with HH rubbing snow into her bottom before smacking her. *shiver* I am extremely glad that wasn't me. But I don't mind sadistically enjoying the image from afar...

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Tags: al fresco spanking, awards, Control and Reform, DVD releases, Jimmy Holloway, learning curves, Michael Stamp, Northern Spanking, otk spanking, paddle, porn production, Zille Defeu, Zoe Montana

4 comments

editing Acquiescence

Posted at 00:05 on 10 Mar 2009 by Pandora / Blake

I spent Friday and Saturday locked up with the Governor of the world's most infamous women's prison. Well, not actually locked up. In fact it was almost like a holiday, what with the good food, good wine and extremely pleasant company, except for the fact that we were working late every night. But it was fun work - well, it must have been, since we were both choosing to do it in our spare time after a busy working week. Strange people as we are.

We were editing the film I shot with Tom and Stephen Lewis for Michael's forthcoming second site, Control and Reform. It's a D/s-focussed video-on-demand site, releasing full-length films for download, streaming or DVD purchase. I can't wait for it to go live, which will hopefully be soooooon (but is unlikely to be soon enough for my chronic impatience).

Our film is called Acquiescence, and is a re-imagining of psychological interrogation narratives such as Closetland or V for Vendetta, only with less forced head-shaving and anal torture, and more thrashings.



We shot it nearly two years ago, just before Tom and I separated for a few months, so watching the footage held a bittersweet edge for me. I liked it more than I thought I would.

The story I'd had in mind when we were filming was ridiculously over-ambitious, with a layered, non-linear structure. Last time I asked him how the editing was coming, Michael told me bluntly that there was no way he was going to be able to piece it together without my input, so I dutifully hopped on a train and spent a couple of days explaining my bizarre imaginings to the poor bloke.

However, he is a technical genius, and proved more than adept at turning my garbled ideas into something approaching a watchable film. I learned an awful lot about film editing, while remaining well aware that I was barely scratching the surface. I also reassured myself that I am audible on camera most of the time, so that's alright. And I had lots of fun, and hopefully helped more than I hindered.

Michael has been an absolute star, persisting in the face of numerous technological disasters, and I really hope the results are worth it. Maybe we'll end up with a cool, psychologically interesting CP film. And maybe it'll just be a spanking movie with interrogations and blindfolds and handcuffs and me naked and shivering in a cell. Either way, it should be good.



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Tags: Control and Reform, DVD releases, learning curves, Photos, Stephen Lewis, Thomas Cameron

2 comments

Waiting for the cane

Posted at 14:17 on 3 Jul 2007 by Pandora / Blake

Many apologies to those still waiting for the charity caning photos and video; unforeseen circumstances prevented us from carrying it out two Sundays ago (there have been rather too many of those lately). It's taking longer to organise than we'd hoped, but I haven't forgotten. I can't believe it's been four weeks already since the race - I've been rushed off my feet. I did three full day spanking shoots in June (Northern Spanking, Control and Reform, and Spanking Online) and I didn't want to risk being marked for any of them. (As Mr C has pointed out, there have also been other reasons making it harder for the three of us to get together - and of course, the presence of both my lords is essential).

Anyway, enough excuses. It's now scheduled for Saturday, and as far as I know there are no other plans for this weekend which might cause disruption. I'll probably still be marked from my shoot this Thursday, but I'm sure you'd prefer us not to delay on that account.

Many thanks for your patience on this, and I'm sorry for making you wait a little longer. I'm looking forward to a quieter period in which the three of us have more time to play together; I've been missing it.

On the subject of waiting, here's a picture from a shoot earlier this year:

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Tags: Cane for Life, Chimera Bondage, Control and Reform, Northern Spanking, Photos, Spanking Online

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Busy girl

Posted at 18:58 on 22 Jun 2007 by Pandora / Blake

First off, I'm sorry to keep you all waiting for updates on the Cane for Life. Rest assured I haven't forgotten about it; it was originally scheduled to take place on the 9th, at the end of my shoot with Northern Spanking, to take advantage of their superior camera technology. Unfortunately we ran out of time that day, and since I was away at a festival last weekend, this coming Sunday is the next chance we'll have.

I'm a little nervous about this, as it'll mean receiving my strokes on top of the damage from the interrogation shoot we have planned with new site Control and Reform on Saturday. I'm not sure how severe the punishment in this shoot will be, but Mr C and I have come up with an intense psychological torture plot for the film, and I was hoping to have my limits pushed on the day. Perhaps I'm being over-ambitious, but it should be interesting. Thanks for your patience, anyway, and hopefully I won't keep you waiting much longer :)

While I'm on the subject of forthcoming shoots, take a look at this video clip:



This spanking machine is a new invention from the master of gadgets who runs Chimera Bondage. We were exchanging emails about my doing a self-bondage/CP shoot for the site, and when he found out that spanking machines were a major fantasy of mine, he went away and made this one for me.¹ How amazing is that?

I am so turned on by this prospect that I can't quite believe it. I keep re-watching the clip and imagining myself, bent over a trestle, cuffed at the ankles and wrists, mouth gagged and nipples clamped, on the receiving end of that paddle swing. And melting.

Of course, I'm also absolutely terrified. But therein lies the interest ... right?


[1] Well, for the site actually. I won't get to take it home with me after the shoot. More's the pity: my Lords have already started discussing the various merits of a spanking machine controllable remotely via an internet connection.

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Tags: admin, Cane for Life, Chimera Bondage, Control and Reform, Fantasies, Northern Spanking

2 comments

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