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A week in the life of a spanking pornographer

Posted at 18:31 on 19 Feb 2012 by Pandora / Blake

Others have written before about the ways in which play begets more play. I don't know why I didn't expect that going fulltime as a pornographer would boost the amount of kink in my life. I knew I'd be looking at more of it on my computer screen, but I thought I'd be more of a geeky hermit as a result. For some reason, I didn't predict that putting out kinky, creative energy every day would strengthen my connections with likeminded friends and provide more opportunities for play.

I've noticed that since my website launch I've felt a new self assurance, a confidence that has fed into my burgeoning toppy energy, but also a sort of centredness. I imagine that this makes me better company than the anxious urgency I felt prior to launch.

This last week has overflowed with spanking to the extent that I can't quite believe it. In the past, when people have assumed that the life of a spanking performer is full of kinky adventure I've always been quick to correct them, pointing out that vanilla work, long distance relationships and health problems mean that performer's lives aren't, on average, that different from anyone else's. But this week, it's actually been true. I feel almost embarrassed about it, knowing how many people don't have the opportunity to express their spanking kink. Mostly, however, I feel fucking grateful.

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Tags: bruises, D, Dreams of Spanking, Jacq, Jenna Jay, Katie Didit, kink, Photos, Sarah Bright, Spanking Sarah, switching


Hot and cold

Posted at 22:35 on 8 Feb 2012 by Pandora / Blake

Yesterday I got beaten just to warm me up. Like a schoolboy in the history books I read as a child about life in Tudor times. It was so cold that I was over D's knee for five solid minutes of spanking - which hurt like fuck on cold skin - but my arse was still chilly to the touch.

When I remarked on this, rather than taking pity on me like a gentleman, and employing - say - warm rubs to solve the problem, D flashed me a grin and pulled the wooden paddle out of his toybox, with me still over his lap. Three rapid swats and I was yelling in indignance. "It will! It'll warm you up!" he insisted.

I guess my squawks of protest must have been more persuasive than I remember, because he put the paddle down and asked me to pass him his belt. Doubled over twice, he used it over the knee for a while, but while I was enjoying the thuddy little impacts, they weren't getting more reaction than my grin. After a little while I prompted, "Shall I move somewhere you can swing that properly?"

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Tags: D, featured photos, Fetish clubbing, Jacq, kink, Photos, seasonal spankings


Audio Q&A: fantasies, crying and polyamory

Posted at 00:51 on 4 Jan 2012 by Pandora / Blake

Tonight I want to try something new: an audio post, inspired by the recent posts of Quai Disciplines (his first audio post answering reader questions, and more recently his "Friday Quai-day" post, which promises to become a series). I really liked the intimacy of this format and decided to take him up on the invitation to answer some of the questions myself, including ones I'd asked him. I decided to do so in audio so as to continue the feeling of a dialogue.

Pandora audio Q & A, Jan 2012 »

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Tags: audio stories, birch, D, Fantasies, Jacq, kink, polyamory, tears, Thomas Cameron


Three scenes

Posted at 23:47 on 11 Nov 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Life is good at the moment. Despite money worries, uncertainty about what the next year will hold, and working far too damn hard, I have what I need out of life. That is: a roof over my head for me and my cat, work that inspires me, and happiness in love. Put into perspective, the shoulder aches, minor wibbles and missed sleep doesn't really matter.

For so much of the last few years, poly hasn't been easy, and nor has kink. When there are so many other life upheavals going on it's weird - if good - to look at my situation and realise that actually, the one thing that seems relatively stable is my relationships. One of the reasons blogging is good for me is that it prevents me from taking weeks like this for granted, enjoying precious moments with each of my partners one after the other.


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Tags: back whipping, breast slapping, cane, D, dominance and submission, featured photos, hand spanking, Jacq, kink, Photos, porn production, Thomas Cameron


Four's company

Posted at 22:29 on 21 Oct 2011 by Pandora / Blake

A little while ago I got a message from Jacq. She said: "Did I tell you the realisation I had recently? I don't think I'm actually enjoying the being hit itself more than I used to, I think the thing that does it for me is the marks. I'm not certain that's what it is, but there is a reason I'm enjoying it more and I'm always sad when the marks fade, so..."

My first, irrational, reaction was dismay. She didn't enjoy the spankings themselves? I'm a feedback junkie: my pleasure as a sadist is directly fuelled by the enjoyment of my bottom. If Jacq wasn't into spankings per se, the idea of spanking her lost a lot of its thrill.

Then I read what she'd actually said: not that she didn't like being spanked, just that she didn't like the spanking itself more than she used to. I knew already that spanking wasn't her primary kink in the same way it is mine, but that it was a kink and she loved the power exchange. A third re-reading and it sunk in that - hey! She was enjoying it more than she used to! That's kind of awesome. So, right, clearly the thing to do was ensure that we gave her marks to remember next time we played.

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Tags: big black stick, cane, D, featured photos, Jacq, kink, otk spanking, paddle, Penny D, Photos, polyamory, switching, Thomas Cameron


Stripes with the riding crop

Posted at 22:07 on 25 Sep 2011 by Pandora / Blake

I was very pleased that Jacq came to the party on Saturday night. For a start, she's an excellent drinking companion, and has proved before her ability to drink me under the table without ever seeming to lose control (she doesn't even get hangovers - most unfair!). Mostly, it had been a few weeks since I last got my hands on her, and I hoped to make the most of the opportunity.

Still, when there's all the diversions of a drinking party around you, it can be hard to find the right moment to slip away. There was some flirting, initially. Toppy flirting can be a bit tricky to get the hang of when you're used to playing the other role, but I'm gradually picking it up. When I made some threat or other - with a grin - and Jacq responded by wordlessly handing me my pint, it was clear that she was encouraging me to overcome my inhibitions and take the initiative.

In the end, things were set in motion by some social anxiety of Jacq's. She was unable to put a particular worry down, and I playfully suggested that perhaps she just needed distracting. "Yeah, that'd work," she said, and suddenly I had no choice but to swallow my hesitation and invite her upstairs.

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Tags: D, Jacq, kink, other pictures, riding crop, switching


Unplanned drunken topping

Posted at 19:55 on 5 Aug 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Today, I am mostly hungover.

I'd had a glass of wine and four pints of cider by the time I ordered Jacq over to the bed, and it was nearly 2am. We'd been watching porn (accompanied by mandatory loud heckling and bothering the performers on twitter), and between that and the booze I found myself in a toppy mood. I had Jacq all to myself, which might have been a factor too.

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Tags: bath brush, hairbrush, Jacq, kink, Photos, switching


Gazing, voyeurism

Posted at 23:08 on 29 Apr 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Last summer Tom and I finally got the change to take to bed a good friend we'd been courting for some time. The young lady tells me she'd like to be known here as Jacqueline - and yes, she's the same girl who recently inspired me to top a lover for the first time. This is the first half of that story.

I first kissed her after midnight in the garden of a London nightclub. She has red or purple hair and soft curves, a calm sense of competence and pragmatism, and she laughs easily and often.

She and I revealed our mutual attraction to each other early on, but our flirtation stalled on the knowledge that she was deeply, unequivocably submissive; and I was moving on from my tendency to date other subs, and starting to seek out dommes and switches. She and I spent a pleasant night together, but I couldn't help feeling that things would be more satisfying for both of us with a top in the bed.

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Tags: Female gaze, Jacq, kink, meta-analysis, Thomas Cameron


Adventures in topping

Posted at 01:54 on 26 Apr 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Last week I experienced my first over-the-knee spanking from the other side.

It happened like this. My friend Jacq, whose place I was stopping at during my trip to London, texted me asking if I wanted to accompany her to the local fetish night. Her tone was embarrassed. It wasn't a real fetish night, she hastened to assure me; it was, in fact, full of posey spooky kids and a bit crap, but she used to go to it a lot and her friends were begging her to come out with them. She wouldn't expect to actually play, since no-one else ever did, but it would be much more fun if I was there.

Forgive my filthy bathroom mirror; I went and cleaned it as soon as I saw this photo.I was up for it, but I was already on the hoof and I only had what I carried in terms of outfits. The summery day dresses for the 50s style domestic spanking shoot on my first day in London wouldn't do, and everything else I had with me was similarly casual. The only thing that might do was my new Japanese-style school uniform, which I was taking to D's for a rape scene we'd been planning.

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Tags: Fetish clubbing, Jacq, kink, otk spanking, school uniform, switching


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