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Schoolgirls in Space!

Posted at 19:43 on 14 Apr 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Here's an awesome thing: Northern Spanking Institute have just released a spanko sci-fi satire to warm the cockles consoles of geeks everywhere. Starring the "comedy core" NSI cast of Amelia Jane Rutherford, Leia-Ann Woods, Paul Kennedy and Amy Hunter (whom you may remember from Strictly Come Spanking!, among myriad other projects), Schoolgirls in Space is described as the closest the team have come to producing a "Carry On" film. If you like a dash of laughter with your kink, or if you've ever enjoyed classic British sci-fi like Doctor Who (or spoofs like Red Dwarf), this is for you.

Schoolgirls in Space apparently started out as a dare to come up with an original schoolgirl spanking scenario, and that it certainly achieves. I'm told that unlike many web clips, this one was scripted, resulting in a snappy back-and-forth of witty dialogue, laced with geeky references and terrible puns (and, no doubt, great potential for cock-ups - I'm looking forward hugely to seeing the out takes from this one).

There is no denying that this film is very, very silly. Featuring tin foil hats (remember: they're keeping you safe), arachnid-invested swimming pools, regulation space underwear, a nasal-voiced space stewardess and unexpected lingerie-related incidents, this is not for those who take their kink too seriously. The NSI crew gleefully and mercilessly rip off sci-fi, schoolgirl spanking scenarios, the vagaries of air travel and themselves. The result is gloriously entertaining, with several laugh out loud moments.

Pornography and satire have always gone hand in hand. It's impossible to resist the urge to remake our favourite entertainment with more explicit content, and if you're doing so with a lower budget and a sense of humour, remake almost inevitably becomes pisstake. Some have criticised Schoolgirls in Space as nonsense. If so, it is extremely high quality nonsense. The script is witty and delivered with perfect deadpan timing. The actors are watchable, charming and very nice to look at. A great deal of care has gone into the set and costumes, with perfectly matching school uniforms, an extremely impressive futuristic set by the design wizards at Restrained Elegance, a lovely latex outfit for Amelia and matching metallic accessories for the ship's crew, including a silver-coloured cane. Comedy it may be, but it's well crafted. Even the tinfoil hats and flight console represent more effort than goes into many spanking productions, as do the silly sound effects (which bring the whole thing together perfectly, in my opinion).

Whether it serves to satisfy as pornography is a question of personal taste. For me, this clip is closer to a clever, laugh-out-loud burlesque show than a straightforward erotic striptease. The spankings are extended and the caning hard enough to leave visible red welts, but the giggle-inducing dialogue stimulated my funny bone and my brain as much as my clit.

As titillating, kink-positive, fabulously satirical spanko entertainment, Schoolgirls in Space is a total success. This is one to show your pervy and geeky friends, especially the ones who need putting at ease with the CP aspect of their kink, and I'll definitely be re-watching it.

Click below to download the trailer:

And the full video can be viewed online at Northern Spanking.

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Tags: Amelia Jane Rutherford, Amy Hunter, funny, Leia-Ann Woods, Northern Spanking, Paul Kennedy, review, Videos


Eye-catching spanking photos

Posted at 22:19 on 17 Mar 2011 by Pandora / Blake

I've just been doing a bit of catching up on spanking blogs after a week or so in which my vanilla life completely took over. It's not been a long break, but I haven't really thought about kink much at all, and despite my extensive collection of drafts and post ideas I'm finding it a bit tough to get back into the blogging headspace.

So, by way of easing back into it, here's a round up of spanking photos which have recently caught my eye for one reason or another...

Chelsea Pfeiffer spanking Sinn Sage on Spank Sinn

I love Sinn's posture of surrender, her bowed head and the elegant line of her back. I love the natural light in these shots (as in much of Sinn's work), the subtle lines of light and shadow across the thighs, and the way the sunlight catches the line of the strap, naturally calling attention to it.

Irelynn Logeen spanking Leia-Ann Woods on Triple A Spanking

Who doesn't like old-style Girl Guide uniforms? I love them, and I also love candid shots of actors having fun in between the serious posing. Spanking shoots are mostly, in my experience, extraordinarily camp, silly affairs, and it's always nice to get a glimpse of the fun reality behind the fantasy.

Mr King spanking Ivy and Brooke at Real Spankings Institute

I'm not so keen on the composition of this one - a landscape picture would have worked better to get all three figures in - but I love the facial expressions of the two girls.

Unnamed top (man, when will companies learn not to do this!) spanking Sophia Nova on Dallas Spanks Hard

The first thing that struck me was the perfect bubble curve of Sophia's pinkened bottom. Once I was looking, I noticed her shapely legs; the elegant lift of one foot; the intensity in the top's expression, and the incredibly real look on her face. Flushed, slightly sweaty - breathless - absorbed - overwhelmed. It's halfway between distress and ecstasy. I love feeling like that.

Ashley spanking Kay Richards on My Spanking Roommate

I love the impression of motion in this one, the sense that Kay has just been tipped, indignant, over Ashley's lap. Kay also has the most deliciously rounded bottom which is shown off perfectly by this low angle. Lovely!

Unnamed models on Cutie Spankee, in "The Teacher's Humiliation"

Like all the photography to come out of Cutie Spankee, the lighting, colouring and composition in this shot are exceptional, a cut above most of the images that come out of the UK and US spanking studios. But this image leapt out at me, not only because of the beauty of the models, but because of its surreality. Clicking through and reading the scene synopsis I learn that one teacher is being humiliated by another by being forced to wear tight student gym shorts. But at first glance, it's deliciously weird: the inexplicable stepladder, placing the spankee's bottom almost level with the top's head; the bizarre combination of tight shorts with smart jacket; the dramatic yet completely unnecessary pot plant in the background. Out of context, it's dreamlike in its weirdness, and I find that very exciting. Anything could happen!

Leia-Ann Woods spanking Kami Robertson, Emma Bishop and Donna Davenport on Northern Spanking in "Behind the Bike Sheds". I didn't initially realise that the first photo was from the same set as the second two, since it didn't include the distinctive purple blazers (I would have been SO happy if those had been the uniform at my school).

There's lots of things I like about these pics. The atmospheric, nostalgic set and props really work for me. I love the wooden chest under the desk and the red leather teacher's chair.

The first shot is a great three-figure composition - the cane slicing a line across the middle, pointing from Ms Woods (who is given classic cinematic right-hand dominance in the frame) to the two girls. Kami's gracefully vulnerable body language. Donna's curious, slightly tense over-shoulder peek.

Ms Woods looks stunning in the second photo, directing a witheringly beautiful "you're next" look at Donna over the hapless girl across her lap.

And the third one caps it off - a between-takes candid shot of spanker and spankee grinning at each other while Leia-Ann blows on her hand to cool it. The implication of the hard hand spanking she's just given makes this behind-the-scenes shot, for me, one of the hottest of all.

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Tags: Cutie Spankee, Dallas Spanks Hard, Irelynn Logeen, Kami Robertson, Leia-Ann Woods, making a scene, My Spanking Roommate, Northern Spanking, other pictures, Sites and studios, Triple A Spanking


Pyjama punishments at Triple A Spanking

Posted at 20:46 on 22 Jan 2011 by Pandora / Blake

I've just been watching some of the videos at brand new spanking site AAAspanking.com (I think you're meant to pronounce it "Triple A Spanking", although the idea of a spanking site called Aaaaaaah Spanking does have a certain appeal). You may remember my post last summer about this shoot, which included a gruelling game of Spanking Twister and a luxurious scene in a hot tub. Both of those videos, however, have yet to be released in full on the site (the Spanking Twister one is currently being published in installments, but I'm waiting for the whole film to be available before I watch it).

Don't be put off by the lads' mag style branding - the films are less trashy than the site design might lead you to expect. With only nine models featured at this early stage, there's already more of a range of looks and body types than you see on many sites. The shoot I was on was very model-led, with opportunity for us to come up with scenes we'd enjoy playing, no pressure to do things we weren't comfortable with (like the Religious Tattoo Punishment scene I vetoed first thing), and a light-hearted vibe which lent itself to some entertaining improv. Witty dialogue never harms a spanking scene, and quite a few of the videos had me giggling when I watched them. The concept and cinematography are hardly groundbreaking, but if you're looking for straightforward, classic spanking scenarios in high definition, you could do a lot worse.

There's a respectable amount of material for a new spanking site, but the funny thing is that nearly all the films of me so far feature pyjamas. The site is only a week old and it already has me being spanked in THREE different pairs of jim-jams. More than any other spanking site to date - how's that for a claim to fame?

Pyjamas #1: Purple polkadots (AKA 'Arson Attack')

It wasn't until I was over Paul's knee that I was informed what we were being spanked for, every morning before school. Burning down the local corner shop!

Favourite line: Leia-Ann, "It needed renovating anyway".

Pyjamas #2: Blue with pink flowers (AKA 'Red Bottoms at Breakfast')

Why bother going into school on the last day? It's a half day anyway, and the lessons are always filler. Besides, there are far more interesting things at home - like Buffy, or bread that looks like regurgitated insects. Not hairbrushes though. Hairbrushes are almost as bad as school.

Favourite moment: Leia-Ann, valiantly ignoring Jean Bradley's attempts to get through to her via her bottom, starts faking a cough while over the knee to try and get out of both the spanking, and school. It doesn't work. But good effort nonetheless!

Pyjamas #3: Black and white polkadots (AKA 'Wakey Wakey')

My bed was so comfy! Why did I have to be dragged and shouted out of it to go to the bloomin' dentist? On a Saturday morning! No fair!

I actually loved the rougher aspects of this scene. It's short, sharp and the spanking pulls no punches. Jean hauled me out of bed and over her knee, and no amount of crying or struggling did me any good whatsoever. So I took the opportunity to struggle rather a lot. HOT.


But the pyjama thing isn't just me. Check this lot out:

Bonus Pyjamas #1: Black satin (AKA 'Post Party Punishment')

That's Cindy Hodges modelling the slinky black and white leopard print number, and Sarah Winter (who also works as Winter Skye) not only demonstrating the "watching with horror" facial expression with flair, but suiting the blue and pink pyjama set way better than me.

Bonus Pyjamas #2: "Come here and kiss me" (AKA 'Bathroom Leathering')

Krystal Delight looking ridiculously pretty in a flirtatious 80s-style "come here and kiss me" t-shirt, teamed with cutesy teddy bear print pyjama bottoms. Her private moment in the bathroom is interrupted by Chopper, who decides that a dose of the belt is in order. Don't tell anyone, but you know, I think she might like it.

Bonus Pyjamas #3: Blue and stripy (AKA 'That's My Boyfriend!')

Jasmine Lau rocking the pale blue check with hotpants, Kami Robertson as cute as ever in blue/green pastel stripes.

I have to admit though, this scene does remind me of that bit in that Black Books season 2 episode, 'Fever', where Johnny Vegas as the sleazy landlord interrupts Fran and her neighbour arguing. "Girls! Girls! Girls ... You're both such lovely girls. Don't fight. And if you do, fight nice. With pillows. And jim-jams."


Finally I want to mention the way Triple A Spanking has handled their model profile pages. The bios are written by the site owner rather than by the cast themselves, but he's done a respectful job of it. My only criticism is that it would be nice to see the male actors listed alongside the women - Paul Kennedy did a fantastic job on our shoot, and deserves just as much credit as his female colleagues. But the descriptions give each actor a bit of love, with some glowing praise for their performances, and emphasis on each model as a whole person, promoting their activities within the scene and beyond on their own terms. It's not hard to do, but it makes all the difference.

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Tags: Cindy Hodges, featured photos, Jasmine Lau, Jean Bradley, Kami Robertson, Krystal Delight, Leia-Ann Woods, other pictures, Paul Kennedy, Photos, Triple A Spanking, Winter Skye


We who would virtuous be / leave smut behind us

Posted at 20:04 on 7 Dec 2010 by Pandora / Blake

Perhaps unsurprisingly when your starting point is a group of adult women indulging in erotic roleplay, sexual misdemeanours became a bit of a theme during the Finishing School weekend.

Of course, our tutors Mrs Darling and Miss Hammond-Grant wholly disapproved of any crudeness or wanton behaviour. Those of you who read Amy Hunter's blog will already have been treated to the Darling's Academy anthem, in which smut (and its dangers) takes centre stage. The words of our beloved anthem were strangely prophetic. It's almost as if our tops expected modesty to be the thing we would struggle with most.

Twice during the weekend, Leia-Ann Woods earned herself a vicious tawsing for not wearing appropriate underwear. (I cringed a little as Miss Hammond-Grant tawsed her hands for not wearing a bra during class, as I never wear the things, but since I didn't fancy a hand tawsing, I thought it would be foolish to own up.) Several girls were punished for having illicit liaisons with 'bachelors' - and indeed other girls, despite Leia-Ann's protestations in Sunday assembly that the lovebite on her neck was the work of an unseasonal fruitbat.

My first punishment of the weekend, in fact, during Saturday morning assembly, was for making inappropriately sexual conversation during the drive to the castle the night before. Amelie Hammond-Grant targeted Violet Kynaston (as played by Adele Haze) first. "Could you explain, please, exactly what you mean by shagging, Violet?"

Titters from the girls. Violet kept her cool. "Um, it's when you get a very hairy dog, miss, and you have to shave it so it's less shaggy..."

Nor had our polyamorous gossip escaped their notice:

"Two boyfriends, Violet? Why would one possibly need two?"

"Well, Mrs Darling, it's useful to have a backup in case one of them is indisposed."

I hadn't got away with it either. I was informed that talking openly about sex, especially with multiple partners, is quite unladylike, and mention of same-sex encounters was quite disgusting (a fiction I am perfectly happy to indulge when both my tops have been known to partake of girly fun themselves!). Amy Hunter played the outraged teacher to perfection. "What do you have to say for yourself, Miss Blake?"

"Oh," I quipped, shamelessly stealing one of Adele's lines from the bus journey, "I must have come over queer..."

I was rewarded for my uncharacteristic cheek with giggles from my classmates. Somehow keeping a straight face, Mrs Darling asked me to step forward for my first whacking of the weekend - six with the tawse, over my (uniquely sensible) knickers.

Finishing School included some hilarious, imaginative pranks from my classmates which not only earned them well-deserved punishments, but provided excellent entertainment for everyone else. My personal favourite was the conspiracy to serve chocolate willies instead of after-dinner mints on Saturday night, which earned Caoilfhionn and Head Girl Catherine Thomas a blistering double caning each that was astonishing to watch. I particularly enjoyed Caoilfhionn's response when Mrs Darling asked if she was responsible for this outrage: "Responsible is a very interesting choice of word, Mrs Darling..."

Afterwards, though, as various miscreants were punished for a sequence of creative misdemeanours (nothing, it seems, escaped Mrs Darling's attention), I started to feel a bit left out. I'd been surrounded by CP all weekend, but received very little of it. I hadn't planned any outrageous pranks in advance. I'd tried my best to do well in my lessons. In-role eagerness to please clashes badly with an out-of-role desire to see some action.

I turned to Zille, who was watching the canings with a similar envy in her eyes. "Bad girls get all the fun," I whispered, and she vehemently agreed.

We looked at each other.

"Maybe we should be bad."

Thus a plan was born.¹ We'd intended to steal some alone time either way, but had left open the question of whether we wanted to be caught at it. Suddenly the idea of being interrupted mid-coitus behind the curtain seemed like the best of both worlds. But as we edged discreetly over to the tea table in hopes of engineering such a scene, we were waylaid by her 'guardian', Lord Buchanan-Defeu, who had picked up on our need for mistreatment and was attempting to make it happen in his own way. Frustrating as it was to be hindered from executing the Curtain Plan, he did manage to get us into trouble first.

I can't remember whether it was Zillah or her guardian who first started fussing with his bowtie. Did he ask us to neaten it or did we take the liberty ourselves? However it happened, before we knew it his bowtie, far from being tidied, was hanging loose around his neck. "It's alright," we told him, "loosened bowties are the fashion after a certain point in the evening."

Apparently our claims that he looked 'cool' didn't cut it. The next thing we knew, Miss Hammond-Grant was marching over. "Lord Buchanan-Defeu tells me you have been taking liberties with his dress!" she cried. "Am I to understand you have been touching him in an over-familiar manner?"

Our protestations fell on deaf ears. Lord Buchanan-Defeu nobly opted to help Miss Hammond-Grant correct her wayward charges, and thus it was that I found myself over the Deputy Head's lap while Zillah was dealt with by her guardian. It was the first over-the-knee spanking I'd received that weekend, and I found it very hard to conceal my delight. Everyone watched as Miss Hammond-Grant raised my ballgown and spanked me hard over my panties. Yes, my body was singing, finally, yes. I know I was supposed to be in the role of an embarrassed and petulant pupil, but I was jubilant. It was just what I needed. Amy Hunter spanks hard - it was actually the first time I'd ever bottomed to her, and it was lovely to engage with her on that level after watching her get her domme on over the last couple of years.

After that I took a turn over Lord Buchanan-Defeu's knee, which struck me as rather more familiar than merely adjusting a bowtie, but I was hardly going to argue at that point.

I'm sure Zillah and I were supposed to be chastened and sorry after our punishments, but I'm afraid to say they merely encouraged us. Happy and pleasantly buzzing with endorphins, we giggled on the sofa as we watched the party unfold around us. I was more than a little tipsy by this stage - I'd been so run down with cold over the previous few days that I'd nearly had to leave lessons earlier that afternoon, but somewhere during this evening, aided by champagne and the excitement of the experience, my energy had flipped into a slightly manic euphoria which I knew I'd probably pay for later.

Cuddling up to Zille, we revisited our plan. As Leia-Ann earned herself yet another public punishment (I didn't even hear what it was for this time) I whispered to Zille that we could probably get away with a quick snog while everyone else was distracted watching Leia-Ann. A quick snog, of course, turned into an enthusiastic makeout session, which lasted glorious minutes before a shout from Mrs Darling cut across the room like a knife.

We were in it. Caught red-handed. Despite having willingly leapt into trouble, when I stood up and faced the wrath of the Head and Deputy Head of the Academy my heart began to pound and I wondered if this had been wise. The heat of their scolding was like an onslaught, and I felt my face redden as we were told how much we'd disgraced Mrs Darling in front of her guests.

Zille and I were instructed to stand facing the tea table and bend over with our hands on it. To lift our evening gowns and pull down our panties. This would be a double caning, and it would be on the bare. I would receive my strokes first.

The caning itself is a blur. Mrs Darling and Miss Hammond-Grant arranged themselves either side of me and pulled no punches. It was hard - hard enough to make me clench my hands and gasp, although I didn't feel like I was making much sound compared to the buzz of the gathering behind me. I can't even remember how many strokes I got - I wasn't asked to count - 12 or 18, I think; but all I remember is a haze of sensation, intense, delicious, exhilarating. I devoured every moment. Perhaps I shouldn't admit to this where my tops can read it, but for me the experience translated as pure pleasure. I was flying so high that every searing stroke seemed to pour energy straight into my spinal cord.

I was left with a sequence of delicious welts which hardened to scabs over the next few days, proof that my memory of those slicing, burning strokes is not exaggerated. The marks are still there.


The next day, I felt a bit nervous about the fact that the only mischief I could manage was sexual in nature. Compared to the pre-planned pranks and exuberant naughtiness going on around me, it hardly felt imaginative. In our room, Adele remarked that she was glad I'd managed to land myself in trouble in a way that felt comfortable and natural for me, and that the incident with Zille had been "in character". I suppose, since I wasn't really playing a character, that this is true; but I couldn't shake the feeling that playing a different role next time and coming up with something a bit less predictable would have been more entertaining.

It wasn't until I re-read the lyrics of the Darling's Academy anthem a few days later that I realised the extent to which they focussed on sexual misbehaviour. Sluttiness, it seems, is one of the worst crimes the Academy can imagine:

We who would virtuous be
Leave smut behind us
Hereby learn decency
With sore reminders.
To Darlings we are sent
Our tawdriness repent
It is our one intent
To be a lady.

Out of character, I'm proud of my 'tawdriness' - I don't see anything wrong with it and I know Lucy and Amy don't either. It's certainly an aspect of myself which I'm disinclined to curb even when I'm trying to be behave, and it's a type of wrongdoing I'm perfectly comfortable with. So I'm reassured that, rather than 'cheating' the system by not behaving in-role, my misdeeds were perfectly in tune with the script.

Clearly, when it comes to smut, my protestations of being 'good' are less accurate than I thought. In this area at least, I fear I may be a hopeless case.

1. While Zille and I were plotting, I did manage to earn myself six of the best with the aid of Leia-Ann, but I'll tell you that story later. Far from satisfying my appetite for punishment, it merely left me wanting more.

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Tags: Adele Haze, Amy Hunter, Finishing School, kink, Leia-Ann Woods, Lucy McLean, other pictures, Zille Defeu


All in a day's work

Posted at 13:33 on 5 Oct 2010 by Pandora / Blake

Last Wednesday's shoot was a last-minute booking with a brand new spanking site, in which I was taking the place of a model who had cancelled. I wasn't miffed at being a stand-in, though; my co-model Leia-Ann Woods was in the same boat after an apparent string of cancellations, and it was great to get to work with her again, as well as Paul Kennedy and Jean Bradley. The site is still unnamed, let alone launched, so I'm not sure when the content will be going online. But the shoot was a busy one, and included a number of amusing highlights...

- For the first scene, we were asked to read a passage from Leviticus about not marking your body, and then be punished for our tattoos. Paul and I exchanged glances; I'm not keen on that sort of religious scene. "I don't have a tattoo," Leia-Ann remarked, naturally without a trace of smugness. Damn, I thought, now how I am I going to get out of this one?

Paul furrowed his brow. "I suppose ... you could be ... being initiated into some sort of cult?"

"What, like Scientology?"

We paused, briefly considering the comedic potential of the scene. I think, though, that the producer intended us to take it a bit more seriously than that. Eventually, to my relief, Paul said that he wasn't sure even we could make that convincing, and I was off the hook.

So we did a lovely little before-school spanking scene instead, in which Leia and I had done something so bad (accidentally setting fire to the local cornershop while 'testing' matches) that we were to be spanked every morning and every night for a week. Over our pyjamas, of course. In fact, out of the six clips I filmed that day half of them involved both Leia and I wearing pyjamas, so if you're a fan of jim-jams, you'll almost certainly enjoy this site.

- The second scene started out as a straightforward summoned-to-the-Headmistress's office type deal, but we quickly managed to pervert it. Of course we haven't meant to key the Head's car. We hadn't realised it was her car! After a sound spanking and dose of the wooden ruler for skiving off lessons and being in the teacher's carpark without permission, it was revealed that we were trying to get revenge on the pervy caretaker (played brilliantly by Paul K, complete with amazing roaming rural accent) who was always spilling things near the girl's changing rooms, dropping things and getting us to pick things up, looking down girls' tops... Of course the Head was shocked to hear such baseless, slanderous accusations - so what response would be more natural than to summon him to punish us himself? Ewwwww...!

- Leia cracked me up during a breakfast scene in which she tried to pick all the seeds out of a slice of multiseed bread, complaining that they looked like insects (after which I was very glad that I'd opted for cereal). Naturally, Jean was less amused than I was, but I thought it was very unfair that I should get the hairbrush as well.

- That afternoon we invented a whole new game: Spanking Twister. During the making of this film I learned that it is foolish to play Twister (spanking or otherwise) against an ex-ballet dancer.

Since I moved out of London my job has involved a lot more physical work than it used to, and I've definitely built up strength and muscle, but I seem to have lost a whole load of flexibility. My hamstrings were super-tight, and the effort of stretching into positions which were effortless to Leia but felt like bizarre contortions to me made me sweat, and then my hands slipped on the plastic sheet, and yes, you guessed it - I fell over. So I earned myself a spanking - which was fine, I was grateful to be over the knee rather than bent over on tiptoe - but in the next round, it was agreed that Leia would lose. I wondered how on earth I'd last long enough.

Thankfully, the dial was kind to me and I managed to avoid any strenuous positions before Leia gracefully (but implausibly) surrendered. I was assuming that Round 3 would go to her, but instead we decided to get the two of us into the kinkiest, spankiest (what? that's totally a word) positions possible and then fade the film out on both of us being whipped in tandem. I'm sorry to admit that after a minute or two balanced precariously on fingers and tiptoe with my arse in the air, I could feel my under-worked leg muscles started to shake. I really didn't want to ruin the film by collapsing, so I spent the last few minutes fidgeting in an attempt to make it through without breaking position. Bracing my legs, relaxing them, shifting my weight, putting more weight on my hands - nothing relieved the strain. I was struggling so much that I didn't even feel the whipping on which the film closed. In fact, I was too distracted to respond to it at all; I was entirely focussed on simply not falling over.

Everyone was very decent about it, and although it was annoying, I didn't feel anywhere near as embarrassed or humiliated as I imagined I would. I mean, I'm a model, so physical flexibility and stamina is something producers can reasonably expect. I'm not very flexible naturally, and know I need to work at it; if I've let it slip, it's absolutely fair enough that I'll get shown up at some point! Note to self: start going swimming again, and take up yoga. I've been meaning to for ages, so hopefully this will be the kick up the arse (as it were) that prompts me to finally get on it.

- I was exceedingly grateful, therefore, that the next scene took place in a hot tub. With wine. They let Leia and me have a bit of downtime, and it was lovely to lie back in the hot water with the rain falling all around us, have a chance to just unwind and chat. Of course, Paul and Jean used the time to plot a scene which would land us right in it; when the cameras started rolling and they barged in on us, we had no idea what to expect, which was a brilliant improvisation challenge! But mostly, my poor muscles were grateful for the respite. After that game of Twister, even being paddled on wet skin in the cold air was preferable.

All in all it was great fun, despite being a very long day (I left home at 7am to catch a train, and got back to London at 10pm). I particularly enjoyed working and catching up with Leia-Ann, who was an absolute star despite having a whole bunch of other stuff going on. Jim-jams, keying cars, interrogations, spankings from pervy janitors, spanking twister and illicit hot tubs - in what other job is this all in a day's work? :)

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Tags: funny, Leia-Ann Woods, other pictures, Paul Kennedy, shoot writeups


Strictly Come Spanking

Posted at 23:20 on 2 Dec 2009 by Pandora / Blake

One of the first things I did when I got back home, of course, was download all the latest material from Northern Spanking. This has provided me with:

1. Enough delightful porn to cheer me up at the end of a long day - and rekindle my somewhat-neglected kink;

2. Blog material for at least a week - because of course, I have to review it for you and let you know what I think, don't I?

Now, I don't normally write about films before they've been fully released - when something is published in sequential clips, I'd rather wait and see the whole thing before expressing an opinion. But this evening I'm going to have to make an exception. You see, I have just watched the first two parts of reality TV extravaganza Strictly Come Spanking - a production so stimulating that I couldn't help make over-excited notes as I watched.

So, for your delectation and delight, here is my unedited, real-time live-blogged commentary on Strictly Come Spanking - parts 1 and 2:

- Strictly Come Spanking: ONLY NORTHERN COULD DO THIS

- Hilarious intro sequence! Is that Paul Kennedy I see sporting a rather camp quiff?
- Fantastic intro by Amy Hunter. I sense a presenter career in the making! Bit heavy on the artificial smoke...
- OMG THE JUDGES - LOVE IT! Actually crying with laughter!
- Stephen and Leia. I hadn't realised before how tall Stephen is - he dominates Leia even in heels. Very debonair! Love the ballet poses, and the slightly mincing motions as he starts to spank.

- Actually I think all spankings should take place to cheery big band music, judges watching with pursed lips.
- "We've practiced ... ALL WEEK." Hee!
- Love everything about Tess - the hammy faces, the interrupting, the standing in front of Leia ...
- LOVE the score card paddles!
- OMG BELLA RIGATONI'S ACCENT!!!!! The animosity between her and Aileen Philpotts!
- "SERMOULDERING. YOU EENGLEESH ARLOT." Hang on, is she Italian or German? Or French?
- "HAND MET BOTTOM FLESH LIKE BOTTOM MEETING HOT TOAST." Eileen can't actually keep a straight face. Or - hang on - is that a flirtation I'm sensing between her and Bella?

- Okay, Amelia-Jane and Hwyel. Oooh. Figureskating spanking, without skates! Punctuated by breathy gasps and tossed hair. Slightly uncontrolled, but definitely SERMOULDERING. The flamenco music suits well.
- Like me, Amelia has to go slightly onto her knees to be passionately kissed by her Dom. I can attest that this has its advantages.

- Goodness me, a slight wardrobe malfunction! Was that deliberate?
- Hrm, judge catfight. Is Craig Breakfast-Cereal going to end up with one or both of the female judges over his knee?

- Oh, Amelia is entirely delectable. I don't know how she does it. Mmmmmm.
- Haha, love that Eileen is the first judge to applaud!
- "Panting away, like something just off the Serengeti there, aren't we!" I think Amy was born to play Tess. Ahahaha - she agrees with me about the deliberate wardrobe malfunction!
- Amelia hiding her laughter by pretending to cry. Smooth. In the inset she looks entirely innocent, like someone off a BBC period drama.

- Aileen: "like an eager schoolboy sucking up his first banana milkshake through a straw." WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. Impressive ability on the part of all three judges to keep a straight face, though.


- Part 2! Syra Garcia and Paul Kennedy. Ooh, and some rather cheeky jazz. Smiles all round! Nice little bottom wiggle there from Syra. Not sure about the hand-wavy dance moves though.

- Oh, I get it! It's a reference to the golden age of magic shows!
- Or possibly silent films.
- Or ... pinups?
- Aw, missed opportunity there to get the bottom in the spotlight.
- Cute wave from Paul at the end there!
- Tess: "That really ... went, didn't it? Didn't it just ... go, ladies and gentleman?" *snort*
- Aileen: "Like clover honey dripping slowly from a Swedish pine." WHAT.

- I cannot get enough of the way that Tess is compelled to spank herself every time she pronounces "Strictly Come Spanking", however serious the context.
- Ooooh, adverts! The Restrained Elegance one for the Medieval Epic is rather fantastic.
- Irelynn: I have no words. No words. <3
- Michael Stamp in - a HAIR ADVERT! Why does he sound slightly Australian? He suits the white boy fro though...
- Back to the final! How I can stand the suspense??

Parts 3-5 will be released on NSI soon. Lucy McLean informs me that "there's even funnier stuff to come." Can you wait? I know I can't.

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Tags: Amelia Jane Rutherford, Amy Hunter, funny, Leia-Ann Woods, Northern Spanking, Stephen Lewis, Syra Garcia


Celebrating bisexuality

Posted at 16:37 on 23 Sep 2009 by Pandora / Blake

Today is International Celebrate Bisexuality Day! Ideally, I would celebrate my bisexuality by having kinky sex with a small selection of my favourite bisexual boys, girls and people inbetween, but I'm going out drinking with a big selection of them instead. Which is almost as good.

I first identified as bisexual when I was thirteen, nearly half my life ago. For the two years before that I was very confused: I knew I was utterly smitten with my female best friend, but I also knew, in a naive pubescent way, that there was no reason I might not choose a man as my life partner some day if I met the right guy. Then I discovered the concept of bisexuality (possibly on the Internet, but probably in one of the erotic books for women that my mum failed to successfully hide from me) and everything made much more sense.

When my relationship with my best friend developed into a sexual one, I became swept up in the full flush of first love. Clearly, my love and I were fated to be together forever. Clearly, therefore, I must be gay. I believed this until I entered the sixth form, at which point all the mean, spotty boys I knew started growing into tall, handsome young men. I realised I'd been bisexual all along, I just hadn't ever fancied teenage boys. Which is, you know, fair enough.

Peter from Bi Social News has written an excellent article asking: what is it that bisexuals have to celebrate? He answers his own question:

Bisexuality is an invitation to complexity. There is no coloring in between the lines with bisexuality because there are no lines to color in between. The world is open to us. What matters here then is defining an ethical code of our own. In other words, an invitation to complexity is an imperative to critical thinking and making reasoned choices. ... Bisexuality exists as both potential and realization always, especially if you are monogamous.

Being bisexual is emotionally intense and intellectually demanding, because it requires constant engagement and evaluation as part of the package. When we bisexuals live up to the challenge, we show healthy models for human relations and thats what we should be aiming for.

I am proud to be bisexual. It opens up limitless possibilities and models for relationships, sex, love. I am blessed to be able to enjoy the romantic and erotic company of men, women, and those inbetween. Because my interest is not limited to the cisgendered, I prefer the word queer to describe my own sexuality: I do not consider gender to be a binary, and I am not only attracted to those at the extreme ends of the spectrum. But for today, I'm happy to identify as bisexual, and celebrate that fact.

Today is necessary, not just as a love-fest for those of us similarly inclined, but to challenge the many problems our culture has with bisexual invisibility and prejudice. The LGBT movement has gained increasing force in the last few decades, but too often bisexuals are excluded from the language of LGBT rights, or shunned by individuals trying to reinforce their black-and-white view of the world. While the entertainment industry has started to admit the existence of real gay men and women, bisexual characters are almost never recognised in films and TV. Bisexuality is rarely mentioned in politics or public conversations about LGBT rights. Our culture has very few models for healthy bisexuality, and (perhaps as a result) stereotypes and prejudice abound. We are accused of indecision ('staying on the fence'; 'not making up your mind'), greed ('wanting our cake and eating it'), disloyalty, betrayal and lack of solidarity. We are told we lack self-awareness and emotional maturity ('you'll grow out of it'; 'you're just going through a phase'). Too often, our identity is denied and erased from public perception.

I'm preaching to the choir here: the kink scene is unusually aware and accepting of the range of human sexuality, and I'm sure you all already know this stuff. So I'll get off the soapbox, and finish up my mini-celebration of being queer with some bisexual spanking photos.

This is Leia-Ann Woods, Honey Hardy, Jadie Reece and Stephen Lewis all looking gorgeous in Northern Spanking's recent high-definition film Girls' Night In, beautifully photographed by Billy. The ladies are having fun enjoying each other when Leia's hubby walks in, catching them in the act of admiring and appreciating one another's bottoms. Well, what do you expect the man to do? Spank them, of course!

Happy International Celebrate Bisexuality Day, everyone. To all my fellow queers, I hope you have heaps of fun celebrating your sexuality in whatever way you prefer. Here's to embracing the power of 'and'. :)

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Tags: Leia-Ann Woods, making a scene, Northern Spanking, other pictures, otk spanking, Politics, Queer politics, rant, Stephen Lewis


Wheatley Manor

Posted at 23:47 on 16 Feb 2009 by Pandora / Blake

I've just found out about an exciting thing. Northern Spanking are releasing their first feature-length film. The stars, of course, are the four best spanking actresses (in my opinion) in the UK: Amelia-Jane Rutherford, Niki Flynn, Leia Ann Woods, and Amy Hunter. And the inestimable Stephen Lewis, although from the look of the promo pics the girls hardly need his help. The title? Wheatley Manor.

I wasn't involved in this project, but I've seen the teaser site Northern Spanking have put online. And I'm excited. Aren't you excited?

Paul, Lucy and the girls will be at the Shadow Lane Spanking Convention on Friday 6th March, to answer your questions and whet your appetites (and hopefully sell some DVDs). I can't justify the trip this year, but I hope some of you can make it to Las Vegas and tell me all about it.

In the meantime, I'm awaiting this DVD release with baited breath. I don't buy many, but this will definitely be one of the honoured few.

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Tags: Amelia Jane Rutherford, Amy Hunter, Leia-Ann Woods, Niki Flynn, Northern Spanking, other pictures


after the party

Posted at 08:58 on 13 Jun 2008 by Pandora / Blake

Leia-Ann Woods arrived at the English Spankers shoot as Mr C and I were halfway through our final scene. We'd been hard at work (or play; I never quite know which word fits best) all morning, playing two characters with a very edgy D/s dynamic between them. It was deep roleplay; exhilirating and exhausting. Even after my final caning we still had to do the stills, and after those I was drained, happy, and just wanted to curl up with my lover and sleep the rest of the day away.

But they'd planned a double scene with me and Leia-Ann, and I'd been looking forward to it - she's a great roleplayer and I've never acted with her before, although I've done a couple of shoots with her behind the camera. I was half-expecting another immersive psychological scene - all three of us are into D/s in our private lives, after all, and we're all experienced players. It would make sense for English Spankers to take advantage of that. My nerves were at an intense pitch; I still hadn't quite recovered from the emotional rollercoaster of that morning's shooting, and so many endorphines were flooding my body I was feeling giddy.

When the English Spankers told us they wanted a silly, erotic, consensual spanking scene, I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. It seemed such a waste of my heightened emotional state; I was ready to dive back into subspace at a moment's notice. But it was Leia's first scene of the day, and they decided they wanted something light-hearted. Peter described the scene to Leia and I: two young ladies home from an school disco themed office party, who seduce their colleague with spanking banter and end up getting more than they bargained for. The two of us went upstairs to try and find school uniforms as close to matching as possible. "I hate this sort of scene," I said to her as we compared tartans. "Yeah, me too," she agreed. We're both submissives: we like violence, coercion, power play. Persuading someone to spank you is all very well in real life, but it has no place in our fantasies.

I'm sorry to say that we didn't take the scenario very seriously. It was a bad pun fest from start to finish, with Leia and I taking the piss out of everything we could think of - Tom, each other, the director's instructions to sit with our legs far enough apart that the camera could see our knickers. I hadn't had much to drink, but my endorphine-fuelled giddiness matched that of my character. And while the office party was pure fiction, Tom and I may as well have just had our own private party (well, as private as you can be on set) in terms of its effect on our moods. We were high, inhibitions thrown to the winds. And for all my misgivings about consensual spanking scenarios, it seemed to work out alright. The photos stand by themselves - we might have been larking about, but it looked good.

Both Leia and I were vulnerable - she was on her first spanking of the day and needed a good warm-up, and I was bruised and sore from filming three previous scenes. Tom lingered over my "warm-up" as much to cover up my welts with a more even redness as anything else, and every smack made me wince. I was tender as all hell, and the brisk, cheerful spanking of the piece was the last thing I wanted - my headspace was still much more suited to slow, dreamy contact.

But I think the English Spankers are wiser than I realised. That chirpy, silly, pun-filled spanking was exactly the tonic I needed to bring me down before I had to face the journey home. The hand-spanking acted as a warm-down as much as anything else, and the giggles really helped ease my endorphine crash. (The wine helped as well.) When spanking two girls who are each at opposite ends of an adrenaline curve - one just having peaked, the other barely starting to climb - I honestly can't think of a better way of handling it. Despite my preference for dark, serious, psychological fantasies, at that time a fun, erotic spanking scene was exactly what my battered emotions - and bruised bottom - needed.

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Tags: English Spankers, Leia-Ann Woods, Photos, shoot writeups, Thomas Cameron


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