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Reluctantly, silenced.

Posted at 22:09 on 28 May 2013 by Pandora / Blake

Well, the censorship saga with payment processor CCBill and my female-gaze porn site Dreams of Spanking got much, much worse. I wrote last week about the ridiculous wording changes they required, including censoring discussions of consensual and ethical production on the blog. I did as I was told. Unfortunately, that was far from the end of it.

To explain why I CCBill sent me another email last Friday detailing an entirely new set of changes and deletions I needed to make, I have to explain a tedious technical thing. I have a client account with CCBill, of which the website www.dreamsofspanking.com is a subaccount. I can run as many websites as I want, each with its own subaccount. Every time you create a new subaccount, that site has to go through the approval process with the CCBill policy review team.

When I launched Dreams, www.dreamsofspanking.com was up and running as a pre-launch site containing a blog and other previews. Alongside that, prior to launch the main paysite existed at dev.dreamsofspanking.com while D and I were building it. We put all the content on the dev site, submitted that and got it approved; only then were we able to set up and test the credit card billing, which we needed to do before we could launch. So we launched, and went to change the subaccount URL to www.dreamsofspanking.com ... and found out we couldn't. If you want a new URL, you need to setup a new subaccount. I put it on my to do list to do at some point when I had time, and meanwhile just carried on accepting payments to dev.dreamsofspanking.com.

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Tags: Adele Haze, Amelia Jane Rutherford, censorship, Dreams of Spanking, Fairtrade porn, featured photos, Jimmy Holloway, Kaelah, Kink activism, Ludwig, Photos, Politics, Sites and studios, Thomas Cameron


Proof of Innocence

Posted at 00:04 on 26 Aug 2010 by Pandora / Blake

Kaelah has written an in-depth report on our shoot together the other week, called "My First Day At School - On Camera!" It's quite amazing realising how many 'firsts' were involved in the day for her - one of those watershed experiences where you plunge feet-first into a whole pile of new things at once. I'm full of admiration for her courage. Any Klingon would be proud.

She's posted a synopsis and a couple of images from the second clip we filmed, so now it's public I may as well do the same. It's called "Proof of Innocence", and although she wasn't playing a Klingon warrior, her schoolgirl character was based strongly on principles of bravery and honour.

Kaelah designed a storyline drawing heavily on her personal experiences, which made it not only very powerful, but much easier for her to act convincingly in a second language. (She did great in both clips, despite her nerves! Her English is bloody good, and she's a fantastic roleplayer.) She played Adelheid, the bookish Head Girl, a teacher's pet and "goody two shoes" who gets top grades, but isn't very popular with her fellow pupils. Reports from other students, combined with evidence found in her locker and an apparent motive, all point to Adelheid as the culprit who vandalised the art school. The cumulative evidence is so convincing, in fact, that the Headmaster, Mr Clarke (played by Ludwig) insists that Adelheid must face the music. She must be punished to set an example to the other students - and so that no-one can accuse him of favourable treatment. Her form tutor, however, Mr Purvis (played by Tom) believes her claim that she is innocent, and sympathises with her plight. When Adelheid suggests a rather unusual method to clear her good name, Mr Purvis accepts her idea, and becomes her ally in presenting it to the Head.

Adelheid's plan succeeds - through her courage, fortitude and quick thinking she manages to demonstrates her good faith to the teachers. But this means that the student who reported that Adelheid was guilty must have been lying. Enter Rosemary (moi!), who is immediately summoned to account for herself ... and ends up having to face the same music as Adelheid. But it turns out that the chain doesn't end there. The teachers uncover a web of deceit, and are determined to get to the bottom of it...

Kaelah has already written some interesting analysis of Adelheid and what she got out of the role - I recommend you read her post. I can't really improve on what she's already said, but I can add a little about Rosemary. I wouldn't normally cast myself in the role of someone like Rosemary, but I had great fun with it. Her excuse for framing Adelheid was that she was put up to it by the class bully - but perhaps her resentment of the cleverer, more successful student made her easier to persuade. So, okay, Rosemary isn't actually evil - but she's perhaps a troubled teen with a tendency to get into trouble, not very applied as a student, unsure how to stand up for herself or anyone else, trying to fit in. Good at heart, perhaps, but weak-willed.

So I played her a bit sulky and provocative, the classic "I don't care" adolescent attitude - but not so bitter and broken that she lacks all compassion. When she sees what Adelheid has gone through to prove her innocence, she is shocked. And when she looks in her eyes, she starts to believe her.

Suddenly she feels ashamed of giving in to those bullies, and sorry for Adelheid. She starts to soften towards the Head Girl, seeing beneath the strict, straight-A exterior to the vulnerable girl who doesn't understand why the other students don't like her. But she's afraid, still, of the social consequences if she grasses on the bullies.

By the end of the clip, I wanted Adelheid and Rosemary to have been brought together by their tangled predicament, and by being witnesses to each other's suffering. I'm always a fan of sympathy between victims, especially when it comes out of some sort of conflict resolution. Kaelah was great to work with in this respect, giving me all the emotional feedback I was looking for and more.

And the gents were brilliant - Tom playing a gentler top than his usual on-screen persona in the kindly Mr Purvis, but still wielding the cane with a precise ferocity. I very much enjoyed receiving my first twelve strokes from Ludwig (sorry, Rosemary) and he made a solemn and imposing Headmaster in the mortarboard and gown I lent him. Although he didn't half make me blink when I saw him behind the camera out of the corner of my eye...

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Tags: Kaelah, Ludwig, Photos, shoot writeups, Thomas Cameron


Taking the plunge

Posted at 17:52 on 20 Aug 2010 by Pandora / Blake

I thought, when I moved out of London with Tom to a much bigger house, that it would be easier for me to find opportunities to film for my work-in-progress spanking site. Living with my Dom, a bedroom big enough to set up a camera and lights - I was looking forward to being able to shoot more easily than when I was in London.

But so far, it hasn't turned out quite that way. I've ended up getting very involved in setting up Tom's new business, and since we moved, working on that has taken all my spare time outside paid work. At the same time, the stress of the last couple of years combined with the exhaustion of moving and starting a new enterprise has seriously compromised Tom's health, and one of the things which has been put on hold to give him a chance to recover is our sex and spanking life. It's tough, but hopefully temporary.

When Ludwig and Kaelah said they were coming to the UK and would like to come and stay, I jumped at the chance - it drove me nuts not having enough space to play host in London, and I'm revelling in the fact that our new home has a spare room. Ludwig said he would potentially be interested in filming a clip or two while they were there. Him and Kaelah's relationship is one in which they only play with one another, but since Ludwig has prior experience appearing as a switch in spanking videos, they've agreed to make an exception for filming. They've filmed one clip together at home, but Kaelah said she might be interested in sharing her first experience shooting with other people with me, Tom and Jimmy.

Well. With so flattering an offer, how could I refuse? We worked out that a "professional" shoot where I hired them, got them to sign releases etc, probably wasn't what they were looking for this time, for various reasons. So we agreed that we'd shoot some free clips for the blogs, just for fun.

On previous shoots, I've always made sure I had experienced industry people around to help me with the cameras, lighting and audio. As a producer I've been able to delegate the technical side of the day entirely, and focus on everything else. This time, since I wasn't filming commercial content which would justify the expense of a camera crew, I decided to go it alone. Jimmy (who has a lot of technical confidence, but not much experience) offered to help out behind the camera, and I decided to take the plunge, and get to grips with the equipment I bought last year but have never operated myself. I was going to have to learn at some point; I want to be able to shoot informally at home if Tom and I are in the mood, without it having to be a big production with camera crew each time.

It felt a little weird agreeing to produce blog content with Ludwig and Kaelah when I'm frustrated by not having time to shoot material for my site, but in the end it was the right decision. It removed a certain amount of pressure, and liberated us to work out the dynamics of shooting together for the first time, in a new location and without outside technical assistance, without feeling like I had to "get my money's worth" or meet any quotas.

So it was a day of firsts: Kaelah's first experience bottoming and filming with someone other than Ludwig; and my first experience not only shooting with them and in a new venue, but also operating independently behind the camera.

There was lots of planning by email. I sent over a few scene ideas, but in the end Kaelah wrote the two scripts we ended up using on the day. Both were school scenes, reflecting her desire to participate in the more "innocent" end of the genre, rather than any explicitly erotic or sexual scenes. An awful lot of thought and creativity went into the final concepts - most of it Kaelah's. I've been very busy with vanilla work lately, and so wasn't able to be as active a part of the planning phase as I'd have liked, but we worked out two plots with two tops and two bottoms, and two different but matching school uniforms. I found myself in the unusual position of being the voice of realism, reining in Kaelah's enthusiasm and perfectionism with the pragmatism I've learned the hard way. Normally I'm the one to try and take on too much - it was odd being the one to suggest that we should avoid being too ambitious and not bite off more than we could chew. I think I've learned my lesson there, at least!

They arrived on Sunday night, and we enjoyed a relaxed evening cooking, eating and catching up. The next morning we were up early to start at 9am, since we only had the venue until 5pm and I wanted to make sure we had plenty of time in case anything went wrong. At the last minute, Tom realised he wasn't able to spend the whole day away from his office, so we rewrote the first scene for a single top, and arranged for Tom to join us after lunch.

I was glad I'd left us as much time as I had. It allowed us to set a leisurely pace without getting stressed out. The venue I'd found was beautiful, but we had to spend a fair amount of time moving furniture around to create the desired headmaster's study/senior common room effect. My lights worked but I couldn't find the bulbs, so there was a mission into town to buy new ones. We were using Ludwig and Kaelah's cameras, and the four of us spent a couple of hours blocking the various shots and working out where to put everything. It was slow work for four newbies, but we managed it without any strife. By midday we'd set up everything for both scenes, so we wouldn't have much faff after lunch, and we were ready to film the first clip, "The Protection Racket".

Kaelah had written a story about two schoolfriends who both come forward individually to confess to the same crime, creating a tangle which their teacher needs to somehow sort out. Both girls have good reasons for believing their friend to be the culprit, and want to save them from punishment.

But neither is a particularly good liar, and their teacher doesn't need to be a genius to work out that neither story rings true.

He applauds their spirit of self-sacrifice, but lying to a teacher is still unacceptable. They won't be punished as much as if they had been the culprit, but they still need to be punished.

In the end, it all came together okay. Jimmy was an absolute star managing both cameras while I was acting, and I really enjoyed working with him behind the scenes - I think it bodes well for our future collaboration. By the end of the day I felt totally exhilirated at the knowledge that not only had we produced some good content without any stress, in a new location and with new people, but that we'd done it totally independently, without needing to bring in outside help. As a producer I seem to be learning from past mistakes every time I make them, and this time I think I managed not to cock anything up. Quite an awesome feeling! I feel much more confident about shooting my own material in the future now, and am looking forward to having the time.

I had great fun working with Ludwig and Kaelah, and was really impressed with their enthusiasm and dedication. Kaelah has written a brief update about the shoot on their travelling journal, but I'm sure they'll have more to add once they get home and recover from their trip. It was an honour to help Kaelah have her first experience of filming with other people. I'll post the clips as soon as they're ready to share.

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Tags: Jimmy Holloway, Kaelah, learning curves, Ludwig, otk spanking, Photos, porn production, school uniform, shoot writeups

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The Garden Party

Posted at 17:34 on 19 Sep 2009 by Pandora / Blake

I adore this photo of Ludwig from his and Adele's recent Lupus film, The Garden Party:

Yum. Spanking porn should definitely have more young, dark, handsome tops in military uniform.

Ludwig has just finished his detailled, fascinating write-up of topping for Lupus. The story was started earlier this week, in his previous posts The Company of Wolves and A Dragoon's Life. It's particularly interesting to read about Lupus from the perspective of a top - and while Ludwig is honest about his sadism, he's also clearly respectful, considerate and thoughtful, which makes for a compelling perspective.


Speaking of outdoor spanking films starring Adele and dark handsome tops, tomorrow morning is the last leg of filming for our Roué film Lost Causes. Nothing so entertaining as the main shoot, sadly: this involves getting up at 6am to film some location shots, and it's just me, so I won't have my fellow cast-members for company. The film is edited and in post-production, waiting for these shots to be dropped in; Tom and I watched a copy of the edit a couple of weeks ago and are really happy with it so far. I'm not looking forward to the early start, but it'll feel great to finally get the last of the footage wrapped.

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Tags: Adele Haze, Ludwig, Lupus Spanking, other pictures, Roue, Thomas Cameron

1 comment

while I was away

Posted at 19:26 on 1 Jul 2009 by Pandora / Blake

Well, I'm back. A day later than expected, thanks to last-minute car failure that resulted in a seriously frustrating 24 hours at the mercy of the AA, but home. I collapsed straight into bed when we staggered in last night and I've been in the office all day today.

So I don't have any kinky news for you. But the world, when I returned to it from the isolated depths of rural England, had plenty of news for me. In the Guardian on the train home I read that Darryn Walker, the blogger who was prosecuted for obscenity after writing a fantasy about abducting, raping and murdering girls band Girls Aloud, has been acquitted. A win for free speech, whatever your opinion about Mr Walker's taste or lack of respect for his fantasy objects. If the prosecution had been successful this would have been the first obscenity conviction of a textual crime, and I'm pleased that the precedent hasn't been set.

The bad political news is that Night Jack, the anonymous Police Constable who won the Orwell Prize for his blog about the police force, has been outed by the Times. Not the first, although political bloggers tend to get less publicity than sexual ones, but policing has been rife with scandal over the last few months, so the story is big. I didn't always agree with Night Jack but I supported his right to privacy, and I think his exposure is a sad, shameful and unnecessary thing. My day job isn't anywhere near as sensitive and interesting as his, but I've already come to terms with the possibility of being outed one day to loved ones who would be hurt by the revelation. I would rather break the news to them myself, and there's a tightening in me at every public humiliation which brings that inevitability closer.


The kink world has been busy in my absence, too. You've probably already seen them, but since I got back online I've been hungrily devouring Adele Haze's and Ludwig's accounts of their latest shoot with Lupus Pictures.

Adele has excelled herself in a series of wry, beautifully described posts, starting with a selection of The Annotated Lupus Tweets, which she follows up with a gorgeous post about Remembering the Pain, and an indulgent look at the Lupus Marks in Development, a narrative I never tire of seeing recorded in pictures. Ludwig, meanwhile, tells of unexpected Czech lines, false moustaches and caning positions. Definitely a film to look out for.

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Tags: Adele Haze, in the news, Ludwig, Lupus Spanking, Politics


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