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Spank me

Posted at 01:40 on 7 Feb 2014 by Pandora / Blake

My late night fantasies vary a lot, from things that happened that day to things that will never happen, and nor would I want them to. Recently I had a bedtime fantasy which was less escapist than my usual fare; more of an expression of intent. I found myself imagining the scene negotiation I would have with Tom next time we played. Our relationship has been very positive lately, despite being long-distance, but we haven't had much opportunity to connect on a deeper D/S level. We'd planned for him to visit me in January and I felt ready to take things a step further. Initially I was just thinking about what to say, and then I started thinking about the ideal scene we might play. It quickly turned from idle daydreaming to a full-blown masturbation fantasy - and yes, it was hot enough to get me off.

The images in my head were of ceremony, formality. I remembered the scene trappings from our intense-but-unsustainable D/S dynamic when we first got together nine years ago. The sheepskin rug for me to kneel on at the base of the Chesterfield armchair, the leather-padded desk chair with the curved wooden arms, waiting in the centre of the room with its blindfold and restraints. Remembering the delicious, heart-pounding fear as I walked in and saw it, knowing I was about to be caned, knowing it was going to be hard.

I told him about it the next time we talked. The specific formalities of our first D/S dynamic aren't available to us these days - too much emotional baggage - but it was the atmosphere that I yearned for. I also mentioned that I had a new butt plug and was very interested in playing with it, and experimenting with combining it with CP. The idea of thatfair kept me going until he came to visit.

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Tags: anal, dominance and submission, Dreams of Spanking, Fantasies, featured photos, hand spanking, kink, otk spanking, Photos, rough sex, strap, thigh spanking, Thomas Cameron, wooden hairbrush

10 comments

Spanked to tears (part 2)

Posted at 20:06 on 10 Oct 2013 by Pandora / Blake

I wrote yesterday about a couple of recent scenes with D that brought me to tears. Tears during spanking are both often sought after and misunderstood. Some people seem to build them up as a sort of ultimate signifier of severity. You know: if you don't cry, it wasn't hard enough; if you cry it must have been really bad. But as my experiences with D show, tears can be triggered by the lightest of spankings. It can be simply about your emotional state going into a scene, the trust between you and your spanking partner, a feeling of helplessness or vulnerability.

I sometimes receive emails from submissive clients asking if I can make them cry in a scene. This request is usually framed as being about "pushing their limits", but tears and limits are by no means synonymous. Actually, pushing my limits is generally an empowering experience for me, a challenge of my strength, and rarely associated with the fragile, vulnerable headspace in which I'm likely to cry.

Crying during spanking is, I think, fundamentally about letting go. If you are trying to control yourself, your reactions, or the scene itself, you're unlikely to cry.

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Tags: dominance and submission, Dreams of Spanking, featured photos, kink, Performers and producers, Photos, Sites and studios, tears, Thomas Cameron

19 comments

Reluctantly, silenced.

Posted at 23:09 on 28 May 2013 by Pandora / Blake

Well, the censorship saga with payment processor CCBill and my female-gaze porn site Dreams of Spanking got much, much worse. I wrote last week about the ridiculous wording changes they required, including censoring discussions of consensual and ethical production on the blog. I did as I was told. Unfortunately, that was far from the end of it.

To explain why I CCBill sent me another email last Friday detailing an entirely new set of changes and deletions I needed to make, I have to explain a tedious technical thing. I have a client account with CCBill, of which the website www.dreamsofspanking.com is a subaccount. I can run as many websites as I want, each with its own subaccount. Every time you create a new subaccount, that site has to go through the approval process with the CCBill policy review team.

When I launched Dreams, www.dreamsofspanking.com was up and running as a pre-launch site containing a blog and other previews. Alongside that, prior to launch the main paysite existed at dev.dreamsofspanking.com while D and I were building it. We put all the content on the dev site, submitted that and got it approved; only then were we able to set up and test the credit card billing, which we needed to do before we could launch. So we launched, and went to change the subaccount URL to www.dreamsofspanking.com ... and found out we couldn't. If you want a new URL, you need to setup a new subaccount. I put it on my to do list to do at some point when I had time, and meanwhile just carried on accepting payments to dev.dreamsofspanking.com.

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Tags: Adele Haze, Amelia Jane Rutherford, censorship, Dreams of Spanking, Fairtrade porn, featured photos, Jimmy Holloway, Kaelah, Kink activism, Ludwig, Photos, Politics, Sites and studios, Thomas Cameron

81 comments

Off-chart bossing

Posted at 13:16 on 23 Mar 2013 by Pandora / Blake

I first met Alex Reynolds at the Texas All State Spanking Party last year. By then I'd been reading her blog for a few months at least, and thanks to her candid writing style I already felt like I knew her pretty well. She was just as brilliant in person as I'd expected, and we had fun hanging out, including shooting a couple of scenes for my spanking site Dreams of Spanking and a bit of off-camera getting spanked together, too.

That encounter, plus almost another year of mutual blog-reading and Twitter in between, was somehow enough that when she mentioned she was coming to the UK on a shoot tour, it didn't feel at all weird for me to invite her to stay as long as she liked. She ended up visiting for a week, during which time we got to know each other a lot better and discovered we had even more in common than we'd ever suspected. We also got up to about as many kinky hijinks and adventures as you'd expect when two spanking models and enthusiasts get together. This isn't always the case, but I think Alex carries a cloud of high spanking probability around with her, and somehow spankings are much more likely to occur in her vicinity.

After a first night hanging out and talking for hours, including under the covers after promising each other multiple times we were going to be good girls and go to sleep, the next day we headed to my local high street to pick up some clothes for spanking roleplays. Alex had been separated from one of her suitcases during a flight on the first leg of her journey (it was eventually returned to her home address, so she didn't lose anything permanently, but she had a lot less with her on her trip than she'd planned) and I've been meaning for a while to buy some more toppy outfits for shoots and discipline sessions. We picked up a few cute items and both got what we needed. I also found a pair of new jeans which I'm rather pleased with:

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Tags: Alex Reynolds, cane, Dreams of Spanking, kink, Nimue Allen, Performers and producers, Photos, switching, Thomas Cameron

36 comments

Continued adventures in submission

Posted at 20:58 on 12 Mar 2013 by Pandora / Blake

In my fantasy, Tom tells me to put on a school uniform, an authentic one with a knee-length skirt and shirt buttoned up to the collar. He pulls out my desk chair into the middle of the room and sits down on it. I stand to one side of him, fidgeting with the hem of my skirt, until he tells me to lie across his knee.

He lifts my skirt and spanks me with his hand, slowly, thoroughly. He does not stop when I start to whimper, nor when I start to yell. His other hand curves around my middle, holding me secure. He spanks the resistance out of me, and continues to spank me long after I have surrendered limply over his lap.

After my spanking, Tom tells me to stand, and he gets up as well. Then I am to bend over and grip the seat of the chair with my hands. He chooses a cane. It is one of the thin, whippy ones I hate, the ones that slice viciously into the skin with a fierce sting that grows and grows. Subdued, I do not argue. In my fantasy the slashing, stinging cane bites into me again and again.

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Tags: dominance and submission, kink, Photos, Thomas Cameron

17 comments

Lost Causes: out now!

Posted at 22:43 on 4 Mar 2013 by Pandora / Blake

Exciting news! Lost Causes, the Edwardian film by Rou starring Adele Haze, Thomas Cameron and myself, is now available to purchase on DVD.

Working as a producer/director team alongside the Rou crew, Tom and I wrote the script based on characters from our previous Rou production; fin de sicle finishing school lesbian Miranda Somerville and her dancing instructor and master of discipline, Thomas Cameron (Tom originally took his screen name from this character).

Lost Causes - Roue Productions Lost Causes - Roue Productions

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Tags: Adele Haze, bloomers, cane, Edwardian, featured photos, historical, Performers and producers, Photos, Roue, tawse, Thomas Cameron

12 comments

Date night with Tom

Posted at 23:46 on 14 Jan 2013 by Pandora / Blake

I'm missing Tom a lot tonight. It's my own fault, of course: I was wondering why his phone kept going straight to voicemail when I remembered that I hadn't posted his phone charger back to him after he left it here last Thursday. Oops.

So while I've got some time to kill and I'm thinking of him, I'll tell you about our date last Wednesday. Tom and I are still doing the long-distance thing. It sucks, but at least I can pretty much guarantee that we'll play on the occasions when we do get together. And my lovely new flat (all to myself, alleluia!) is well-suited to nice long scenes without having to worry about housemates. The gaps between times tend to result in a nice variety of play too, as time passes and we find ourselves into the mood for different things.

He came down for the evening. I'd cooked a nice meal (grilled tuna steak and lots of fresh veg) and we snuggled in front of a film. Then I practically dragged him to the bedroom. Well. Maybe he dragged me there. One or the other.

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Tags: cane, dominance and submission, hand spanking, kink, strap, Thomas Cameron

20 comments

Birthday spankings

Posted at 21:21 on 5 Jul 2012 by Pandora / Blake

Happy birthday to me! Actually it was my birthday last week, and I'm happy to say that I spent it almost entirely away from the computer. The night before I enjoyed playing drinking/forfeit/spanking games with Molly and her friends, and on my birthday morning she treated me to a champagne breakfast in the sunny garden. The day was so warm that Molly, Pilot and I went for a dip in the cold brown river before putting me on a train to visit Tom... where more spankings, good food, good beer, presents and live music awaited me. It was a pretty much perfect day. Then I saw D and Jacq at the weekend for dressing up, debauchery, cuddles and my requested birthday threesome, which was just as much fun as I'd hoped it would be.

I was thoroughly spoiled when it came to presents - and perhaps it's indicative of my life these days that most of them were kinky. Molly gave me a handmade book of 'gift vouchers' allowing me to claim such luxuries as breakfast in bed, and various erotic favours, at times of my choosing. Tom gave me a little gorilla pod for my video camera, ideal for popping on top of bedside furniture to shoot homemade porn. D gave me a strap-on (!!!!!) including a dildo I picked out, and oh wow, I have enjoyed every minute of that these last few days. (Hopefully, so have Jacq and Molly.)

As for the birthday spankings... they all involved my new leather strap which I brought back from Texas, and which is my new favourite toy. I've been looking for something like it for years. It's wide, soft and you can use it full force without doing massive damage. I love it. It hurts, yes, but the pain is thick and warm, a huge thuddy impact that feels like being slammed into the floor. It makes your skin tingle and your gluts ache, and I could take it forever and ever.

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Tags: Dreams of Spanking, featured photos, kink, Molly Malone, seasonal spankings, strap, Thomas Cameron, Videos

20 comments

A goodbye caning

Posted at 10:25 on 6 Jun 2012 by Pandora / Blake

The other weekend I visited Tom for what I expected would be a couple of days of cathartic play. I'd had the week from hell and had spent most of it in desperate need of some domination and soul-cleansing.

The way it worked out, I had a shoot all day on the Saturday, then I jumped on a train and Tom and I went straight out to a gig. With that sort of schedule I was either going to crash or stay hyper, and it turned out to be the latter. The music was outstanding, we had an amazing, high-energy night, and collapsed straight into bed. The next day I was eager to spend some time enjoying the sunshine I'd been missing all week (this was that blinding first UK week of summer; hopefully not our last!) so we headed to the park. A few hours dozing in the sun, reading and listening to Tom play guitar was the perfect antidote to my stressful week. I unwound, uncoiled.

Home, and we both wanted to play; but I discovered an contentedness where my tense need had been. The sunbeam had done its work, leaving me catlike and purring. I thought I might be able to chase sensations for their own sake, but when I asked Tom to spank me I just found myself gritting my teeth through it. I could take it, but I wasn't having fun. I insisted we try again, thinking that I didn't have to enjoy it at the time to enjoy the stress relief benefits, but the weekend and Tom's company had already done their work; I wasn't in need of stress relief any more.

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Tags: cane, dominance and submission, featured photos, kink, Photos, Thomas Cameron

21 comments

The spanking I crave

Posted at 16:16 on 13 Apr 2012 by Pandora / Blake

Earlier this week, I posted the following to Twitter:

The spanking I'm craving today is a hand spanking. Starting gentle, firm but not too stingy; building relentlessly to deeper impacts.

The beating D gave me on Sunday was necessary, valuable. It kept me sane for a couple of days at least. But my tension levels quickly crept up again. By Tuesday I was shifting in my chair, cursing myself for being so high maintenance as to need several spankings a week to manage my emotional state.

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Tags: dominance and submission, Fantasies, hairbrush, kink, otk spanking, Thomas Cameron

13 comments

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