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Fear and calm

Posted at 11:41 on 4 Jul 2013 by Pandora / Blake

Earlier this year I found myself in one of those tricky, unspanked states. I knew I needed an intense sub session that pushed me and left me bruised and tearful and cleansed, but I wanted to be dominated, which generally relies on someone else wanting to do those things to me. Specifically, I wanted D to want that sort of scene; if he'd done it as a favour, it wouldn't have struck the right chord.

Once I've identified this need in myself I can quickly get stuck in a frustrated, uncommunicative loop where I don't want to ask for what I want, because that's not the point;but expecting my dom to be telepathic isn't generally very effective either.

One of the ironies of my life is that it's quite easy for me to arrange to be spanked, either on a film shoot or in a 121 switch session, but neither of those would give me the loss of control I was looking for. Nor are they with the person I feel most submissive to, and who is most capable of taking me to those dark, satisfying places.

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Tags: bastinado, cane, D, dominance and submission, kink, riding crop

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