Want to read more? Join my Patreon community

Why we need to talk about sex - and why it's hard

Posted at 15:00 on 4 Dec 2020 by Pandora / Blake


 

For many people, sex is uniquely confronting. Many of us carry trauma, baggage or shame about sex. These difficult feelings make sex hard for us to talk about.
 

Where do this traumas and discomforts come from? They come from a society which is deeply dysfunctional about sex. In this post I'm going to talk about the post-colonial Anglophone culture of North America, Canada, the UK and Australia, but some aspects of human culture are distributed throughout the globe, and a lot of it applies to other societies and countries too.
 

Keep reading »

Tags: BDSM, boundaries, communication, consent, kink, queer, sex positivity, sexual freedom, sexual liberty, sexuality, shame resilience, trans, trauma

3 comments

5 Ways to Build Trust

Posted at 16:00 on 9 Nov 2020 by Pandora / Blake

As my patrons know, I've just moved house, and am now living in an amazing community with friends. Forming this community has been a powerful experience. It happened surprisingly quickly, from realising during the March lockdown that none of us wanted to live in isolation again, to moving in together at the end of September. In between were five months of weekly Zoom calls, two in-person socially distanced park meets, and some of the richest group work I've ever done. It's transformed the entire way I think about relating. 
 

Several of us have previous experience of attempting to form a community like this, myself included. It turns out that if you want to make it work, you have to do the work - both within yourself, and with the group. We've taken our learnings from our personal experience, from self-development work and our studies into how to form high-functioning relationships, and evolved an organic process which seems to be working really well for us. It's challenging, but so worth it.
 

I've identified five key principles which I think are absolutely essential if you want to build trust and connectedness with people, that will withstand all the difficult things that come up in our lives. In this post I'm going to share them with you, and I hope you find them useful.
 

Keep reading »

Tags: communication, community, power, relationships, trust, vulnerability

9 comments

A Guide to Consent

Posted at 12:14 on 28 Nov 2018 by Pandora / Blake

I'm proud to publish this online version of our consent leaflet, Getting and Giving What We Want.

This is a condensed version of some of the things we cover our consent workshop Getting and Giving What We Want, produced by Backlash. We are running another workshop in January so keep an eye out for details! My co-facilitator Felix and I had a fun challenge cutting the techniques that we teach in the workshop down to a suitable length. As we were going through the material we initially felt that it was all so important we couldn't cut any of it. It was an  informative exercise to ask ourselves, out of all of this crucial information, what is absolutely most important? - and this is what we came up with.

Keep reading »

Tags: Backlash, communication, consent, education, resources, workshops

11 comments

View all content tagged 'communication'

     

Want to read more? Join my Patreon community
Become a Patron!

Find Pandora online

Feminist porn

Spanking porn

Spanking blogs

Sex and Politics blogs

Toplists & directories