Last Wednesday's shoot was a last-minute booking with a brand new spanking site, in which I was taking the place of a model who had cancelled. I wasn't miffed at being a stand-in, though; my co-model Leia-Ann Woods was in the same boat after an apparent string of cancellations, and it was great to get to work with her again, as well as Paul Kennedy and Jean Bradley. The site is still unnamed, let alone launched, so I'm not sure when the content will be going online. But the shoot was a busy one, and included a number of amusing highlights...
- For the first scene, we were asked to read a passage from Leviticus about not marking your body, and then be punished for our tattoos. Paul and I exchanged glances; I'm not keen on that sort of religious scene. "I don't have a tattoo," Leia-Ann remarked, naturally without a trace of smugness. Damn, I thought, now how I am I going to get out of this one?
Paul furrowed his brow. "I suppose ... you could be ... being initiated into some sort of cult?"
"What, like Scientology?"
We paused, briefly considering the comedic potential of the scene. I think, though, that the producer intended us to take it a bit more seriously than that. Eventually, to my relief, Paul said that he wasn't sure even we could make that convincing, and I was off the hook.
So we did a lovely little before-school spanking scene instead, in which Leia and I had done something so bad (accidentally setting fire to the local cornershop while 'testing' matches) that we were to be spanked every morning and every night for a week. Over our pyjamas, of course. In fact, out of the six clips I filmed that day half of them involved both Leia and I wearing pyjamas, so if you're a fan of jim-jams, you'll almost certainly enjoy this site.
- The second scene started out as a straightforward summoned-to-the-Headmistress's office type deal, but we quickly managed to pervert it. Of course we haven't meant to key the Head's car. We hadn't realised it was her car! After a sound spanking and dose of the wooden ruler for skiving off lessons and being in the teacher's carpark without permission, it was revealed that we were trying to get revenge on the pervy caretaker (played brilliantly by Paul K, complete with amazing roaming rural accent) who was always spilling things near the girl's changing rooms, dropping things and getting us to pick things up, looking down girls' tops... Of course the Head was shocked to hear such baseless, slanderous accusations - so what response would be more natural than to summon him to punish us himself? Ewwwww...!
- Leia cracked me up during a breakfast scene in which she tried to pick all the seeds out of a slice of multiseed bread, complaining that they looked like insects (after which I was very glad that I'd opted for cereal). Naturally, Jean was less amused than I was, but I thought it was very unfair that I should get the hairbrush as well.
- That afternoon we invented a whole new game: Spanking Twister. During the making of this film I learned that it is foolish to play Twister (spanking or otherwise) against an ex-ballet dancer.
Since I moved out of London my job has involved a lot more physical work than it used to, and I've definitely built up strength and muscle, but I seem to have lost a whole load of flexibility. My hamstrings were super-tight, and the effort of stretching into positions which were effortless to Leia but felt like bizarre contortions to me made me sweat, and then my hands slipped on the plastic sheet, and yes, you guessed it - I fell over. So I earned myself a spanking - which was fine, I was grateful to be over the knee rather than bent over on tiptoe - but in the next round, it was agreed that Leia would lose. I wondered how on earth I'd last long enough.
Thankfully, the dial was kind to me and I managed to avoid any strenuous positions before Leia gracefully (but implausibly) surrendered. I was assuming that Round 3 would go to her, but instead we decided to get the two of us into the kinkiest, spankiest (what? that's totally a word) positions possible and then fade the film out on both of us being whipped in tandem. I'm sorry to admit that after a minute or two balanced precariously on fingers and tiptoe with my arse in the air, I could feel my under-worked leg muscles started to shake. I really didn't want to ruin the film by collapsing, so I spent the last few minutes fidgeting in an attempt to make it through without breaking position. Bracing my legs, relaxing them, shifting my weight, putting more weight on my hands - nothing relieved the strain. I was struggling so much that I didn't even feel the whipping on which the film closed. In fact, I was too distracted to respond to it at all; I was entirely focussed on simply not falling over.
Everyone was very decent about it, and although it was annoying, I didn't feel anywhere near as embarrassed or humiliated as I imagined I would. I mean, I'm a model, so physical flexibility and stamina is something producers can reasonably expect. I'm not very flexible naturally, and know I need to work at it; if I've let it slip, it's absolutely fair enough that I'll get shown up at some point! Note to self: start going swimming again, and take up yoga. I've been meaning to for ages, so hopefully this will be the kick up the arse (as it were) that prompts me to finally get on it.
- I was exceedingly grateful, therefore, that the next scene took place in a hot tub. With wine. They let Leia and me have a bit of downtime, and it was lovely to lie back in the hot water with the rain falling all around us, have a chance to just unwind and chat. Of course, Paul and Jean used the time to plot a scene which would land us right in it; when the cameras started rolling and they barged in on us, we had no idea what to expect, which was a brilliant improvisation challenge! But mostly, my poor muscles were grateful for the respite. After that game of Twister, even being paddled on wet skin in the cold air was preferable.
All in all it was great fun, despite being a very long day (I left home at 7am to catch a train, and got back to London at 10pm). I particularly enjoyed working and catching up with Leia-Ann, who was an absolute star despite having a whole bunch of other stuff going on. Jim-jams, keying cars, interrogations, spankings from pervy janitors, spanking twister and illicit hot tubs - in what other job is this all in a day's work? :)
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