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Historical porn from the Museu de L'Eròtica

Posted at 00:11 on 2 Jun 2015 by Pandora / Blake

D and I have just got back from a lovely holiday in Barcelona, which is just as beautiful as everyone says it is. While we were there I made certain we had a look round the Museu de L'Eròtica on La Rambla. It's a small museum with an exhibition on sex through the ages, mostly dedicated to historical erotic art. The section on BDSM was disappointingly tiny, but the entry price included a free glass of champagne so I didn't mind too much. I particularly enjoyed the collection of 18th century European (mostly French, Italian and English) erotic art. Forgive the crappy cameraphone photos, but there were some images I just had to share...

I was struck by this drawing of two lovers engaged in acrobatic sex - one for ballet lovers everywhere. I like the way the woman is being lifted off the floor, gravity held at bay merely by the strength of an erect cock and one dainty hand. But most of all I'm intrigued by the feminine appearance of her lover. I don't think the concept of a trans woman (which was my first instinctive interpretation) existed in the same way back then, but there were definitely some gender-benders - is this intended to depict a male cross-dresser or drag queen, I wonder? Or is this sort of feminine appearance perfectly standard for a male ballet dancer of the time?

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Tags: ATVOD, censorship, fetish art, funny, Gender politics, historical, other pictures, vintage, watersports


Non-spanking bottom injuries

Posted at 13:42 on 14 May 2012 by Pandora / Blake

My bottom is sore. For once, this is not because it has been spanked a lot recently. I've been too full of cold, and too busy trying to catch up with work as a result, to play much these last two weeks. D warmed my bottom before I left his today, as is right and correct, but that was the first time in over a fortnight.

No: my bottom is sore because I'm stupid.

My housemate was away last week. Revelling in having our new flat to myself, I permitted myself the self-indulgence of having the heating on all evening, luxuriating in the freedom of doing so without her worrying about the bill. A little while later I brushed past the heated towel rail in our small-but-perfectly-formed bathroom. Oh, I thought, that's a bit hot.

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Tags: funny, model behaviour, Photos


Review: Amelia's Sunday Spanking

Posted at 21:00 on 10 Sep 2011 by Pandora / Blake

When I first heard that the Restrained Elegance team had launched a separate studio for ambitious, feature-length spanking and bondage films, I wrote an excited post to let you all know. I was particularly keen to see their first and only spanking movie. In my opinion their production values, photography and cinematography are the best you'll see in our BDSM niche, and while respecting Hywel's preferred genre, I've always been somewhat disappointed that they were using their powers for evil bondage, rather than the hard corporal punishment scenarios that get me really hot.

Well, I've been lucky enough to end up with a review copy, and on Wednesday Tom and I sat down to watch it. (NB. Neither Restrained Elegance nor Elegance Studios has an affiliates scheme, so I have no financial interest in this project.)

Vital statistics

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Tags: Amelia Jane Rutherford, belt, cane, dominance and submission, Elegance Studios, funny, hairbrush, Hwyel Phillips, otk spanking, Performers and producers, Restrained Elegance, reviews, strap



Posted at 22:04 on 29 Aug 2011 by Pandora / Blake

A friend showed me this comic today. A lady of the manor, a callipygopterist, who likes nothing better than to display the shapely bottoms of her collection to honoured guests.

I particularly like the suggestive way she's holding that riding crop...

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Tags: funny, Victoriana



Posted at 17:59 on 5 Jul 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Tom and I are spending a few days up north with Zille Defeu and her husband Duncan, enjoying some time to relax and get up to various pleasurable pursuits.

It's lovely to see Zille with a beautific smile on her face, cheeks flushed, totally blissed out. Right now she's so relaxed that if you ask her a question, and she'll just smile and say "hmmm?" without really hearing you. She's purring more loudly than the cat who got the cream.

I have to admit that the last hour has contained more its usual share of decadent delights. We're lucky there aren't any neighbours near enough to hear all the moans and sighs that have filled the house.

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Tags: funny, kink, Zille Defeu


Schoolgirls in Space!

Posted at 20:43 on 14 Apr 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Here's an awesome thing: Northern Spanking Institute have just released a spanko sci-fi satire to warm the cockles consoles of geeks everywhere. Starring the "comedy core" NSI cast of Amelia Jane Rutherford, Leia-Ann Woods, Paul Kennedy and Amy Hunter (whom you may remember from Strictly Come Spanking!, among myriad other projects), Schoolgirls in Space is described as the closest the team have come to producing a "Carry On" film. If you like a dash of laughter with your kink, or if you've ever enjoyed classic British sci-fi like Doctor Who (or spoofs like Red Dwarf), this is for you.

Schoolgirls in Space apparently started out as a dare to come up with an original schoolgirl spanking scenario, and that it certainly achieves. I'm told that unlike many web clips, this one was scripted, resulting in a snappy back-and-forth of witty dialogue, laced with geeky references and terrible puns (and, no doubt, great potential for cock-ups - I'm looking forward hugely to seeing the out takes from this one).

There is no denying that this film is very, very silly. Featuring tin foil hats (remember: they're keeping you safe), arachnid-invested swimming pools, regulation space underwear, a nasal-voiced space stewardess and unexpected lingerie-related incidents, this is not for those who take their kink too seriously. The NSI crew gleefully and mercilessly rip off sci-fi, schoolgirl spanking scenarios, the vagaries of air travel and themselves. The result is gloriously entertaining, with several laugh out loud moments.

Pornography and satire have always gone hand in hand. It's impossible to resist the urge to remake our favourite entertainment with more explicit content, and if you're doing so with a lower budget and a sense of humour, remake almost inevitably becomes pisstake. Some have criticised Schoolgirls in Space as nonsense. If so, it is extremely high quality nonsense. The script is witty and delivered with perfect deadpan timing. The actors are watchable, charming and very nice to look at. A great deal of care has gone into the set and costumes, with perfectly matching school uniforms, an extremely impressive futuristic set by the design wizards at Restrained Elegance, a lovely latex outfit for Amelia and matching metallic accessories for the ship's crew, including a silver-coloured cane. Comedy it may be, but it's well crafted. Even the tinfoil hats and flight console represent more effort than goes into many spanking productions, as do the silly sound effects (which bring the whole thing together perfectly, in my opinion).

Whether it serves to satisfy as pornography is a question of personal taste. For me, this clip is closer to a clever, laugh-out-loud burlesque show than a straightforward erotic striptease. The spankings are extended and the caning hard enough to leave visible red welts, but the giggle-inducing dialogue stimulated my funny bone and my brain as much as my clit.

As titillating, kink-positive, fabulously satirical spanko entertainment, Schoolgirls in Space is a total success. This is one to show your pervy and geeky friends, especially the ones who need putting at ease with the CP aspect of their kink, and I'll definitely be re-watching it.

Click below to download the trailer:

And the full video can be viewed online at Northern Spanking.

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Tags: Amelia Jane Rutherford, Amy Hunter, funny, Leia-Ann Woods, Northern Spanking, Paul Kennedy, review, Videos


My edible Valentine

Posted at 16:25 on 18 Feb 2011 by Pandora / Blake

I like food a lot. It will therefore come as no surprise that my Valentine's celebrations this week have involved some truly excellent cookery. The remarkable thing is that I didn't do any of it myself. Normally I'm the feeder in my relationships - but this week I've been thoroughly spoiled with some delicious dinners.

D, at the weekend, was the exception. He's not a big chef. But that was okay; after an all-nighter on the town, we'd digested too many stimulants to have much appetite for food in any case. Instead we took to bed for a luxurious, lazy Sunday - snuggles, sleep (well, I managed some, I'm not sure D did) followed by hours of slow, drowsy debauchery. He also gave me a card which entertained me no end:

Think of the possibilities! I can place it pointing at my work desk; pointing at my bed; pointing at friends I want to annoy amuse. First, though, of course, I had to arrange it pointing at D's butt. Which is, I have to confess, fairly edible.

On Monday I saw Penny, and I've already written about what we got up to during the day - which was certainly adult and very entertaining, but not especially appetising. The evening, however, was a gastronomic triumph in five courses (although we never actually got as far as the cheese). Baked pumpkin risotto balls with parmesan; broccoli and stilton soup; pasta with mushrooms, garlic and pancetta in a cream and wine sauce; bread and butter pudding with homemade Seville marmalade. She knows the route to a lady's heart, alright - and she's pretty tasty herself.

Then last night, Tom treated me to a belated Valentine's dinner at home. We'd had an extended scene planned which it turned out I was too tired for (to my disappointment - but we'll find another date), so I was prepared for a quiet evening. At the last minute he decided to spoil me rotten, and surprised me with an unexpected three course dinner. Tsatsiki, houmous and pitta dippers to start, then pan-fried marinated lamb steaks in garlic and rosemary, with roasted vegetables and cheesy cauliflower. Plus strawberries with vanilla cream for dessert. Oh, man.

*brief interlude to eat leftover toasted pitta strips and red pepper houmous (nomnomNOM)*

But the biggest and best surprise came later that night - after we'd repaired to the bedroom and I'd been lavished with affection, cuddles, and an over-the-knee spanking which didn't push my tired body too far. As if all that wasn't enough, he then presented me with the best. Valentine. EVER:

They're giant chocolate biscuits with icing and HANDPRINTS. Edible spanko valentines! OMG!

Would you be wooed by this man?

The first hand and spanked ass disappeared quite quickly. Luckily, there were two more sets in the bottom of the box :)

(They're by a kinky friend of ours who's just setting up shop as a confectioner. Aren't they awesome? As a thank you to her I thought I'd let you know she was taking orders, in case there's anyone who fancies giving their own partner a delicious spanko gift. They're 10 for one hand/heart or 20 for three, including P&P. Let me know if you're interested and I'll pass it on!)

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Tags: funny, kink, other pictures, seasonal spankings


Green Porno

Posted at 14:20 on 15 Feb 2011 by Pandora / Blake

Yesterday the lovely Penny and I celebrated Valentine's Day by going to the Sexual Nature exhibition at the Natural History Museum. It's good fun, and well worth the money, revealing lots of beautiful and gross details about the sexual habits of various animals, with a refreshing emphasis on the variety inherent in nature and the weird restrictiveness of human sexual morality. Did you know that homosexual orangutan sex is much more cuddly and affectionate than hetero encounters? Or that spinner dolphins mate in large orgies known as wuzzles? Bisexuality, homosexuality, transexuality, polyamory - the animal kingdom has it all.

The highlight of the exhibition was a selection of Green Porno videos by Isabella Rossellini, a charming series of shorts in which she dresses up and demonstrates the bizarre mating habits of different creatures. Such as this delightful take on sadomasochistic snails:

You can view the whole series online at the Sundance Channel's Green Porno page. Look out for lesbian lizards, necromantic praying mantises, and the decombobulating vaginas of ducks...

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Tags: films and TV, funny

1 comment

Bear Ass

Posted at 21:20 on 20 Oct 2010 by Pandora / Blake

I've written before about the real ale pump labels by ex-spanking model and erotic artist Lynn Paula Russell. Her recent work is well worth a look - I love the nature-based erotic pieces she's been producing lately:

But apparently, Ms Russell isn't the only kinky artist commissioned to create a beer pump label. Check out this naughty design from Beartown Brewery:

(Mine isn't bare at the moment though - it's far too cold. Brr! Maybe if it was covered in a lovely thick coating of warm bear fur...)

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Tags: corrupting the innocent, fetish art, funny, other pictures


All in a day's work

Posted at 14:33 on 5 Oct 2010 by Pandora / Blake

Last Wednesday's shoot was a last-minute booking with a brand new spanking site, in which I was taking the place of a model who had cancelled. I wasn't miffed at being a stand-in, though; my co-model Leia-Ann Woods was in the same boat after an apparent string of cancellations, and it was great to get to work with her again, as well as Paul Kennedy and Jean Bradley. The site is still unnamed, let alone launched, so I'm not sure when the content will be going online. But the shoot was a busy one, and included a number of amusing highlights...

- For the first scene, we were asked to read a passage from Leviticus about not marking your body, and then be punished for our tattoos. Paul and I exchanged glances; I'm not keen on that sort of religious scene. "I don't have a tattoo," Leia-Ann remarked, naturally without a trace of smugness. Damn, I thought, now how I am I going to get out of this one?

Paul furrowed his brow. "I suppose ... you could be ... being initiated into some sort of cult?"

"What, like Scientology?"

We paused, briefly considering the comedic potential of the scene. I think, though, that the producer intended us to take it a bit more seriously than that. Eventually, to my relief, Paul said that he wasn't sure even we could make that convincing, and I was off the hook.

So we did a lovely little before-school spanking scene instead, in which Leia and I had done something so bad (accidentally setting fire to the local cornershop while 'testing' matches) that we were to be spanked every morning and every night for a week. Over our pyjamas, of course. In fact, out of the six clips I filmed that day half of them involved both Leia and I wearing pyjamas, so if you're a fan of jim-jams, you'll almost certainly enjoy this site.

- The second scene started out as a straightforward summoned-to-the-Headmistress's office type deal, but we quickly managed to pervert it. Of course we haven't meant to key the Head's car. We hadn't realised it was her car! After a sound spanking and dose of the wooden ruler for skiving off lessons and being in the teacher's carpark without permission, it was revealed that we were trying to get revenge on the pervy caretaker (played brilliantly by Paul K, complete with amazing roaming rural accent) who was always spilling things near the girl's changing rooms, dropping things and getting us to pick things up, looking down girls' tops... Of course the Head was shocked to hear such baseless, slanderous accusations - so what response would be more natural than to summon him to punish us himself? Ewwwww...!

- Leia cracked me up during a breakfast scene in which she tried to pick all the seeds out of a slice of multiseed bread, complaining that they looked like insects (after which I was very glad that I'd opted for cereal). Naturally, Jean was less amused than I was, but I thought it was very unfair that I should get the hairbrush as well.

- That afternoon we invented a whole new game: Spanking Twister. During the making of this film I learned that it is foolish to play Twister (spanking or otherwise) against an ex-ballet dancer.

Since I moved out of London my job has involved a lot more physical work than it used to, and I've definitely built up strength and muscle, but I seem to have lost a whole load of flexibility. My hamstrings were super-tight, and the effort of stretching into positions which were effortless to Leia but felt like bizarre contortions to me made me sweat, and then my hands slipped on the plastic sheet, and yes, you guessed it - I fell over. So I earned myself a spanking - which was fine, I was grateful to be over the knee rather than bent over on tiptoe - but in the next round, it was agreed that Leia would lose. I wondered how on earth I'd last long enough.

Thankfully, the dial was kind to me and I managed to avoid any strenuous positions before Leia gracefully (but implausibly) surrendered. I was assuming that Round 3 would go to her, but instead we decided to get the two of us into the kinkiest, spankiest (what? that's totally a word) positions possible and then fade the film out on both of us being whipped in tandem. I'm sorry to admit that after a minute or two balanced precariously on fingers and tiptoe with my arse in the air, I could feel my under-worked leg muscles started to shake. I really didn't want to ruin the film by collapsing, so I spent the last few minutes fidgeting in an attempt to make it through without breaking position. Bracing my legs, relaxing them, shifting my weight, putting more weight on my hands - nothing relieved the strain. I was struggling so much that I didn't even feel the whipping on which the film closed. In fact, I was too distracted to respond to it at all; I was entirely focussed on simply not falling over.

Everyone was very decent about it, and although it was annoying, I didn't feel anywhere near as embarrassed or humiliated as I imagined I would. I mean, I'm a model, so physical flexibility and stamina is something producers can reasonably expect. I'm not very flexible naturally, and know I need to work at it; if I've let it slip, it's absolutely fair enough that I'll get shown up at some point! Note to self: start going swimming again, and take up yoga. I've been meaning to for ages, so hopefully this will be the kick up the arse (as it were) that prompts me to finally get on it.

- I was exceedingly grateful, therefore, that the next scene took place in a hot tub. With wine. They let Leia and me have a bit of downtime, and it was lovely to lie back in the hot water with the rain falling all around us, have a chance to just unwind and chat. Of course, Paul and Jean used the time to plot a scene which would land us right in it; when the cameras started rolling and they barged in on us, we had no idea what to expect, which was a brilliant improvisation challenge! But mostly, my poor muscles were grateful for the respite. After that game of Twister, even being paddled on wet skin in the cold air was preferable.

All in all it was great fun, despite being a very long day (I left home at 7am to catch a train, and got back to London at 10pm). I particularly enjoyed working and catching up with Leia-Ann, who was an absolute star despite having a whole bunch of other stuff going on. Jim-jams, keying cars, interrogations, spankings from pervy janitors, spanking twister and illicit hot tubs - in what other job is this all in a day's work? :)

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Tags: funny, Leia-Ann Woods, other pictures, Paul Kennedy, shoot writeups


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