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Flickering

Posted at 20:59 on 23 Jun 2016 by Pandora / Blake

"Are those 'ows' real 'ows'?" my top asks in concern, resting the tip of the cane on the bed.

"No. Well, yes, they're real as in it really hurts, but it's the difference between owwww!" (high pitched squeal) "and 'Gerroff, you fucker'." I twist around and look at him through my eyelashes. "Basically if I'm still being cute, I'm consenting."

"Aha." He smiles, and picks up the cane.

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Tags: cane, consent, D, empowerment, Felix, hand spanking, helpful tops, kink, m-f, negotiation, personal, pleasure spanking, teaching, thigh spanking

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Consent and negotiation

Posted at 00:25 on 7 Feb 2012 by Pandora / Blake

Consent is complicated, and playing with non-consent can be really difficult to do in a way that feels reassuring and secure for all concerned. This short film, found via Kitty Stryker, offers an awesome introduction to the complexities of non-consent play:

The "obvious answer" to the problem posed by this film is to use a safeword, but safewords can also be pretty complex. There's a lot to say about safewords, but right now I want to focus on the negotiation part of non-consent play.

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Tags: anal, consent, dominance and submission, kink, Kink activism, negotiation, Politics

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