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What I want

Posted at 15:00 on 5 Oct 2020 by Pandora / Blake

I want a femme daddy. A soft butch top. I want to be nurtured, protected, enveloped in softness.

I want to be spanked soundly, have my hair strokes, and be tucked up in bed.

I want someone I can lean on. Someone who'll say: stay there, I'm coming over. Who will wrap me in a blanket and cook me dinner, massage the knots out of my neck and shoulders.

Right now I'm spending all day in the caregiver role. I work, parent, keep house. I did the physical tasks my partner couldn't do while they were waiting for surgery to resolve their mobility issues, and now I do all the tasks they can't do while they're recovering.  Since lockdown started I've leaned into my strength and endurance, my role as a responsible, reliable, supportive partner and parent.

I'm tired of being load-bearing. I want to be taken care of. I want to be picked up and carried to bed. I want bear hugs and orgasms and cups of tea. I want someone who can hold me in my smallness and vulnerability. I want a big spoon who's into my Little mode, who likes me cute and excitable, who'll lustfully squeeze my bum and kiss me pressed up against the wall. I want a giver with love and energy to spare.

Do I sound ungrateful? My partner is all of these things, when they're well. But chronic pain saps a person. They don't have it to give right now. I try not to complain to them about how their health problems are affecting me. I try to support them and be gentle with them and reassure them it's okay and their needs are valid.

But it does affect me, and I have needs too.

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Tags: dating, dominance & submission, fantasy, pandemic, parenting, polyamory, real life, vulnerability

 

How to shoot porn during lockdown

Posted at 11:57 on 14 Apr 2020 by Pandora / Blake


Image description: A white person with a black bob is taking a selfie while wearing a smart burgundy school uniform with a striped tie. Behind them is a chaos of books, laundry, tripods and other shoot paraphernalia. They have a manic glint in their eyes as they contemplate the tidying task ahead.

All of us are limited by the current lockdown - no more multiperson porn shoots, for one thing, unless you're lucky to live in a compatible household. Expect a lot more solo porn over the coming months! Some performers are finding themselves with plenty of time on their hands, and the opportunity to shoot creative new solo material. Others have kids.

Even if you aren't a porn performer, if you're a parent you might find something to relate to in my working process:

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Tags: customs, pandemic, parenting, photos, porn, shoots

16 comments

The gifts of coronavirus

Posted at 17:56 on 9 Apr 2020 by Pandora / Blake

As this pandemic drags on, we are all experiencing something of an emotional rollercoaster. Grief, fear, frustration, loss, anxiety and exhaustion and perhaps even traumatic triggers are wearing us down. Now more than ever it's important for us to look after ourselves.

For me, part of looking after myself is practising gratitude. Especially when things are tough, gratitude is a mental health practice for me. It's important to lift our spirits, nurture our compassion, and if we are fortunate, to help avoid entitlement. So I thought I'd share some things I'm grateful for in this crisis. Partly for my own benefit, and partly in the hope that they might help you see some of the opportunities and the hopes of the situation, as well as the things that are scary and sad.

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Tags: ableism, COVID-19, gratitude, health, mental health, pandemic, Patreon, politics, self-care, social justice

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Pandemic strategies - comparing herd immunity and flattening the curve

Posted at 12:05 on 17 Mar 2020 by Pandora / Blake

This post is about government and individual pandemic strategy, what I'm doing, and what I recommend you do too.

If you're in a country which is still figuring this out Iike the UK or US, I'm hoping to convince you to lay in a month or two's supplies as soon as possible, minimise social contact while doing so, and stay home for 4-8 weeks. Not everone can self-isolate, so if you can, I consider it a civic responsibility to do so.

I planned this post yesterday morning. By the time I got time to write it in the evening, the UK government released more information about the rapidly changing landscape, and my planned post is already out of date. I'm writing this as quickly as I can on my phone. It won't be the exhaustively referenced post I'd planned. 

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Tags: COVID-19, health, pandemic, Patreon, politics, strategy

40 comments

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