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5 Ways to Build Trust

Posted at 16:00 on 9 Nov 2020 by Pandora / Blake

As my patrons know, I've just moved house, and am now living in an amazing community with friends. Forming this community has been a powerful experience. It happened surprisingly quickly, from realising during the March lockdown that none of us wanted to live in isolation again, to moving in together at the end of September. In between were five months of weekly Zoom calls, two in-person socially distanced park meets, and some of the richest group work I've ever done. It's transformed the entire way I think about relating. 

Several of us have previous experience of attempting to form a community like this, myself included. It turns out that if you want to make it work, you have to do the work - both within yourself, and with the group. We've taken our learnings from our personal experience, from self-development work and our studies into how to form high-functioning relationships, and evolved an organic process which seems to be working really well for us. It's challenging, but so worth it.

I've identified five key principles which I think are absolutely essential if you want to build trust and connectedness with people, that will withstand all the difficult things that come up in our lives. In this post I'm going to share them with you, and I hope you find them useful.

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Tags: communication, community, power, relationships, trust, vulnerability


Telling your partner

Posted at 18:51 on 13 Mar 2012 by Pandora / Blake

I really enjoyed this recent post by Penny Barber, fellow entrepreneur and kinky pornographer who runs her own age play website, Pampered Penny. She's writing about the many emails she gets from men who are into ageplay but in unfulfilled, vanilla marriages, and the sympathy she has for their wives. If your partner won't talk to you about your kink, how can you be expected to fulfil them?

She has some useful suggestions for how to approach this sort of communication in a relationship. Penny's talking specifically about age play here, but this is good relationship advice for all kinksters:

If Ive learned anything over my eight years as a sex worker, talking to people from all walks of life, its that you cant deny your kink. You can try, but its a part of you, and not a small part. Its part of your identity. So I really, really suggest having the I have a fetish for _____, or I like to age play, conversation BEFORE you get married and even before things get too serious.

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Tags: age play, kink, Pampered Penny, Penny Barber, relationships, Sites and studios


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