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Comparison is the ladder

Posted at 15:00 on 29 Dec 2020 by Pandora / Blake



A few weeks back I wrote a very personal post about body shame, gender dysphoria and bodily autonomy that is up there amongst of the most raw and emotional things I’ve written for this blog. It was difficult to write and a little nerve-wracking to post, but it felt important both to me personally and as a wider topic for discussion.

While all that was stewing in my brain, my therapist and I talked about the things I was struggling with . She recommended a book called The Body Is Not An Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor, and an episode of Brené Brown’s excellent podcast ‘Unlocking Us’, in which Sonya Renee Taylor comes on as a guest to speak about the book. I’ve not had a chance to read the full book yet, but the podcast alone has blown my tiny mind. All of the questions I asked in that post have been addressed simply by hearing Sonya Renee Taylor speak.

Her approach centres around a concept that she calls ‘the ladder’. The ladder is the hierarchy of bodies upheld by our oppressive society: the colour of your skin, whether you’re thin or fat, whether you’re disabled or not, how closely you conform to society’s beauty standards, your age, your transness or cisness. I hadn't realised it before, but most oppression in our society is based on the body, and on judging other people based on what they look like. Even wealth and class is often rooted deeply within the body; our size, appearance and how free we are to climb the ladder and gain status based on our body varied depending on our financial and social power. 

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Tags: body image, body positivity, body shame, feminism, food, gender, hierarchy, oppression, patriarchy, power, self-acceptance, self-love, shame, social justice, social transformation

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How kinky internet porn ruined my life

Posted at 10:06 on 24 Dec 2014 by Pandora / Blake

This guest post by James was written in response to the new online censorship of many common, consensual fetish acts in UK porn. Click here to find out more about the law and how it affects us.

I was six years old when I first enjoyed a spanking experience. This wasn't a consequence of being abused by a parent, teacher or dodgy relative. It was a playground game where, without thinking, I smacked a five-year old girl through her thin summer skirt and found that I rather enjoyed feeling the shape of her bottom and hearing her squeal.

Although there was precious little in my life to fuel my interest, I kept on wanting to know more and understand more what it might feel like to give or receive physical punishment. My fantasies progressed from hand spankings to canes, slipper, belts, and just about any implement you can imagine. I tried quite a few things on myself but had no opportunity to explore my desires with others.

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Tags: ATVOD, AVMS, censorship, extreme porn legislation, growing up kinky, guest post, how porn can change the world, kink activism, politics, self-acceptance

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