As I'm revising my manuscript, I'm cutting out the sections that don't quite fit and posting them here. Become a Patron to get access to cut sections about my personal kink, and excerpts from what I'm keeping.

 

The word ‘kinky’ is a useful one. It sounds reassuringly harmless: playful, quirky and unthreatening. It’s my preferred term when I’m discussing my fetishes with people who don’t share them. (We can move on to the question of whether or not we want to reclaim ‘pervert’ later.)
 

I never imagined I’d talk about my kinks outside of my close-knit fetish community - let alone write a book about them. It’s an endless source of surprise to me that I find myself doing this.

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When I first came out as non-binary I realised something strange. By coming out as genderqueer, I was telling all the people who have ever been attracted to me in porn or in person that they aren't straight after all: they're queer. Usually, people get to define their own sexuality, but sorry - that's just how it is. I'm not a woman and I'm not a man, so whatever your gender, if you fancy me, you're queer now too. Congratulations!

If you're straight, look away now because this new video with Nimue Allen is the gayest thing I have ever made.

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The #metoo movement is just getting started. Lately it seems that every time I come online, I see more excellent articles discussing the gendered dynamics and inequalities of sex, pleasure and consent. This is a much-needed conversation, and it's thrilling to see it taking place in mainstream publications, on an international scale.

Here are some recent highlights from my reading. Content note: sexual assault and consent violations.

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