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Why we need to talk about sex - and why it's hard

Posted at 15:00 on 4 Dec 2020 by Pandora / Blake


 

For many people, sex is uniquely confronting. Many of us carry trauma, baggage or shame about sex. These difficult feelings make sex hard for us to talk about.
 

Where do this traumas and discomforts come from? They come from a society which is deeply dysfunctional about sex. In this post I'm going to talk about the post-colonial Anglophone culture of North America, Canada, the UK and Australia, but some aspects of human culture are distributed throughout the globe, and a lot of it applies to other societies and countries too.
 

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Tags: BDSM, boundaries, communication, consent, kink, queer, sex positivity, sexual freedom, sexual liberty, sexuality, shame resilience, trans, trauma

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Good boy

Posted at 15:00 on 14 Sep 2020 by Pandora / Blake

I'm bent over the sofa, naked. My lover is punching my arse. Every thump sends deep vibrations echoing through my body. They would be spanking me if they could, but it would wake the baby. Punching is quieter.

This is the first time our little one has napped without being held. They're one year old. During lockdown, without any outside support and with a baby who only sleeps on my body, we've had barely any opportunities for adult play between the two of us.

I've been craving a beating for months. This is the first chance we've had.

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Tags: cunt punching, dominance and submission, Felix, gender, gender euphoria, genderqueer, impact play, kink, non-binary, parenting, play, punch play, trans, transgender

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Trans visibility

Posted at 11:38 on 28 Mar 2020 by Pandora / Blake

During disasters like this pandemic, artists and writers are more valuable than ever. We need people to document history, process the present, uplift us, and create space for us to work through our emotions about what is happening to the most vulnerable members of our society.

While all this is going on it can be hard to think about anything else. And I will write more about the pandemic and its social context. But I also want to continue writing about the other things that matter to me. The other issues in our society haven't gone away just because something big and new is happening.

People talking about gender affirming healthcare and harm reduction for trans people continue to run into hostility from those who would prefer it if trans folk didn't exist.  A statement of trans solidarity signed by hundreds of feminists was recently undermined by the Guardian, who published it alongside quotes from a couple of transphobic individuals ‘for balance’. The idea of our fundamental right to body and gender autonomy often gets lost, drowned out by misinformation.

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Tags: bodily autonomy, gender, gender politics, genderqueer, non-binary, trans, transgender

7 comments

Genderqueer pregnancy porn - my strap-on cock

Posted at 21:05 on 11 Feb 2019 by Pandora / Blake

To celebrate my pregnancy, I'm filming a new series of pornographic pregnancy diaries so you can all follow along as my body changes and my bump gets bigger!

Here's the trailer for episode 1, Pregnant Strap-on Cock:

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Tags: DIY porn, ethical porn, feminist porn, gender, genderqueer, ManyVids, non-binary, porn, pregnancy, queer, queer porn, trans

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New Youtube video!

Posted at 16:47 on 8 Feb 2019 by Pandora / Blake

Now I'm pregnant, I wanted to talk about the complexities of being trans, non-binary, and having a big bump - not to mention a bigger chest... As if that wasn't complicated enough, I'm also a sex worker. I couldn't find many resources about being non-binary and pregnant, never mind a non-binary pregnant sex worker, so I thought I'd put something out there. Well, I don't know if I can call this a "resource", it's mostly me talking about why things are VERY CONFUSING in my head right now, but if you're in the same situation hopefully it'll show you're not alone (hiiii) and if you're not trans or not pregnant, maybe it will give you a bit of an insight into what it's like.

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Tags: gender, non-binary, pregnancy, sex work, trans, video, YouTube

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