I wonder if there's a mode of enjoying watching a scenario without necessarily wishing oneself either into the top or bottom's perspective - a "voyeur" mode, perhaps? But my own voyeurism tends to be either embodying or objectifying, and even if you were watching a scene without wishing oneself into the position of either party, I'd be inclined to put it into the "empathic objectification" category. Tricky to articulate exactly why though - and of course not all gazing is straightforwardly or simply objectifying or embodying.

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