You're right of course, but the world is not arranged to cater to my needs. Unable to sleep on Saturday night and in floods of tears, knowing what I needed but unable to get it (because I'd spent half the evening working and the other half having a tizzy, leaving no time for spanking before bed) I didn't feel very strong. I felt like an addict panicking because they were unable to get their fix. And a fix that depends on someone else being strong/available/in the mood is not the most reliable one.

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