As someone who is a kinky person, I find that there are a lot of scenes in movies and television that include stuff I would think was super hot -- IF there was consent. I'm thinking in particular of the rape scene in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, which, if it was consensual, would have been a super hot takedown and bondage scene, but without it, is completely unwatchable. I fast-forwarded through this scene in Game of Thrones, because I couldn't bear to watch it. I rarely see scenes that include consensual kinky behavior in movies and television -- even a kinky staple, the initial spanking scene in Secretary, is basically sexual assault -- and I believe that's one of the primary reasons nonkinky people think that kinky sex MUST be abusive and bad. Now, I realize, all of this stuff is fiction, and they're including nonconsensual sex as part of the character arc. I don't actually think the stories would be improved by taking these scenes out. But I'd love it if more writers put scenes in that combined kinky sex with consent, rather than ALWAYS pairing kinky sex with nonconsent, abuse, rape, and murder (how many "serial killers at the S&M club" storylines have you seen on TV?).

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